Help! Stuck at a company Holiday Party! Tips and Tricks to Survive!

This is going to be a quick and dirty topic, because as the title suggests, I'm stuck at a company Christmas party that is going to start.

Any tips and tricks from Goodjers that know how to bring up company appropriate anecdotes or mild jokes that won't offend. I turn to you, great GWJ-ers and plead for help...

How do I survive?!

Play Cards Against Humanity with the CEO and members of HR. Everyone loves it!

Drink heavily is my usual method. Avoid dancing on tables though.

What aspect of the Company Christmas party are you worried about surviving?

Social Aspect?
Coming face to face with executives and higher ups?
Some religious disparity?
Boredom?
The distraction from work which needs to be done?
Being an unwilling participant?
The drunken advances of a co-worker?

Ghostship wrote:

What aspect of the Company Christmas party are you worried about surviving?

Social Aspect?
Coming face to face with executives and higher ups?
Some religious disparity?
Boredom?
The distraction from work which needs to be done?
Being an unwilling participant?
The drunken advances of a co-worker?

Already starting on the awkward social aspects...need ice breakers and conversation starters to lighten the mood...

Levity...I needs some...help...this is awkward...

Chaz wrote:

Drink heavily is my usual method. Avoid dancing on tables though.

The corona's are already out...drinking in progress by some...this day is already turning out WEIRD....

I'm hoping for fistfights in a couple hours of people playing Cornhole in the warehouse...

FORD
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams.
There you go. Small talk covered.
Now go play cornhole and converse.

Recommend: Bingo on your phone.

athros wrote:

Recommend: Bingo on your phone.

Oh snap! Company buzzwords are huge around here, but in the Veterinarian Supply business and being a lowly driver, I usually get out of this...

Kudos on the pick!

So how'd it go Le0hart85?

Le0hart85 wrote:
athros wrote:

Recommend: Bingo on your phone.

Oh snap! Company buzzwords are huge around here, but in the Veterinarian Supply business and being a lowly driver, I usually get out of this...

Kudos on the pick!

Glad I could help. Let us know how many times you bingo

Regarding company parties, I follow the first rule of conflict management from my karate training: avoid the situation.

Problem solved!

Drink. That's what I'm doing tomorrow at the office party held at a restaurant. I quit my job but I still have booze-access.

Le0hart85 wrote:

I'm hoping for fistfights in a couple hours of people playing Cornhole in the warehouse...

1. Challenge co-workers to Cornhole
2. Turn it into a drinking game
3. Egg on rivalries between drunk co-workers
4. A. Get smart-phone ready to record video
B. Film fisticuffs
C. Worldstar Hip-Hop
5. ?
6. Profit

Le0hart85 wrote:

people playing Cornhole...

This obviously means something different than what I understand. What is this, please?

Chumpy_McChump wrote:
Le0hart85 wrote:

people playing Cornhole...

This obviously means something different than what I understand. What is this, please?

IMAGE(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9f/Cornhole.jpg/220px-Cornhole.jpg)

Chumpy_McChump wrote:
Le0hart85 wrote:

people playing Cornhole...

This obviously means something different than what I understand. What is this, please?

Competitive butt sex.

Cards Against Humanity. When everyone offends, no one can be taken to task by HR.

I usually go for the "cool kids table" approach. Find a table full of people you can tolerate and claim your seats quickly. Preferably at a table that's tucked in a corner or otherwise out of the way. Then it's a little more like "lunch with friends" than "obligatory festivities."

And if all else fails, finger --> butt.

I know a number of my co-workers so this thread seems unusual to me. Plus, my company, despite being huge, doesn't have a big ass company-wide party. Which is depressing as it seems like they'd be able to hold a pretty bad ass one.

I feel like small talk this time of year should be simple. "Get all your shopping done?"

Bonus points if the person is actually Jewish. Then you can ask them totally classically ignorant questions like "Why don't you pronounce the C in Channukah?" (Which, according to Google Chrome, isn't a word (though I could have bastardized the spelling just that much)).

I wouldn't know, they changed our Christmas party, to a holiday party now to "Winter Soree" and its in February so we don't offend non christian employees.

Why not gamify it? Tell yourself that you're covertly adding minions to your following that you can take advantage of when you take over the world? But you need to be careful to keep them thinking that they're just your acquaintances at work in the mean time. But, when sh*t gets real, and the world is ending, or you're launching your world domination scheme, you will leverage all of the personal details that they so careless gave up to you under the pretence of a company social function. You'll know what they like and dislike and what they do when you don't specifically have them under surveillance. All the while under the guise of a socially awkward technology professional... mwaaa haaa haaa.

Careful though. If you get too personal and try to fill out their files too quickly, they'll catch on to you. Just some now. Adding to it ever so slightly over time. They won't even know what your grand scheme is. ...soooon.

Thanks to everyone for all the great answers! Had to actually step away from this thread while making the rounds at the party. I think to survive, my best bet was like LobsterMobster said. Found the actual "cool" people I work with and know and then talk to the random other people with silly jokes.

Thanks for making this Holiday Party entertaining, you guys rock!

Hey, at least it's a party during work hours. The rest of us sit here jealously, typing away at Excel and SQL Server (at least in my case).

Vrikk wrote:

Hey, at least it's a party during work hours. The rest of us sit here jealously, playing Spaceteam until your iPhone battery dies in sector 19 (at least in my case).

FTFM

NathanialG wrote:
Chumpy_McChump wrote:
Le0hart85 wrote:

people playing Cornhole...

This obviously means something different than what I understand. What is this, please?

Competitive butt sex.

This, i laughed.

Our holiday party is a Holiday Breakfast, on a Monday morning. Have a feeling there won't be any spiked egg nog or mimosa, so I've got to remember those bottles of Jameson and Baileys...

I actually quite enjoy the holiday parties my company throws. Considering they are Jewish they do a pretty festive event(s). This year we have a party for all the investors who are primarily Chinese, so lots of sushi. Next party will be with some of the other local businesses in the area. That one might be kinda boring. The LAST party will be go carting with just the immedient employees.

idk, work parties are fun!