Battle Royale, or who could beat up whom

Pages

Inspired by this picture and the subsequent debate in the picture thread, I decided we should decide this in the true manner of internet forums: through bickering and illogical rantings. This will be done in bracket format, and I will count votes on each match to see who advances. So, without further ado:

In the first series of fights, the victors were as follows:

Batman defeated Hit Girl
Indiana Jones defeated Eowyn
Elektra defeated Rambo
Ripley defeated Bear Grylls
Black Widow defeated William Wallace
Maximus defeated Beatrix Kiddo
Xena defeated Eddard Stark
Alice defeated Hawkeye
Aragon defeated Lara Croft
Leonidas defeated Katniss Everdeen
Achilles defeated Conan
Miho defeated Sarah Connor

In the next series of battles, I'm going to group three at a time to speed to the semi finals. In addition, I'm going to try to pair off contenders in a more balanced fashion, i.e. guns vs. guns, sword vs. sword.

In the first round of the semifinals, Batman threw the beatdown on Elektra, Achilles barely squeaked out a victory against Aragorn, and Black Widow put two holes in Indiana Jones' fedora (and the head beneath).

Next trio of fights!

IMAGE(http://www.untoldentertainment.com/blog/img/2008_12_07/ripley.jpg)
vs.
IMAGE(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f4/Returnofcallisto_02.jpg/250px-Returnofcallisto_02.jpg)

IMAGE(http://img2-3.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/071211/gladiator_l.jpg)
vs.
IMAGE(http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll245/doverj/leonidas.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i2.blogs.indiewire.com/images/blogs/spout/archives/resident-evil-alice2.jpg)
vs.
IMAGE(http://www.hdtvsolutions.com/images/articles/SinCity_Miho.jpg)

Batman.

There is no discussion, because he's Batman, and she's just a little girl with a pottymouth.

Batman. No discussion needed.

*Curse you mudbunny!

Hit Girl got beat up by a mob boss with a little martial arts training. No contest.

The only reason I'd give Hit Girl a chance is because she is willing to kill someone, but the fact of the matter is she is young and inexperienced. Plus, her Dad pretty much was Batman, so there's bound to be emotional baggage and daddy issues cropping up during the conflict that will throw her off her game.

Best chance she'd have is either getting the jump by sniping him or breaking out of Arkham Asylum to try again.

... yeah... Batman.

Seriously.

IMAGE(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v282/Thin_J/batman.jpg)

Next battle please.

Dark Knight Batman would take Hit Girl under his wing, teach her how to fight, and one night, she would come up, give him a great big hug, then shoot him in the head.

This thread already exists somewhere on GWJ. I know it.

Ahh, but would Batman be caught off guard and subsequently disemboweled by Hitgirl because he would have moral problems with hitting a child? I suspect a hesitation would be all she would need.

I also suspect it would depend on what universe the fight was taking place in, but you could probably say that of any ultimate showdown.

Indiana Jones...he'd just shoot her while dealing with dysentary.

Dr Jones, he would just shoot her.

Redwing wrote:

Ahh, but would Batman be caught off guard and subsequently disemboweled by Hitgirl because he would have moral problems with hitting a child? I suspect a hesitation would be all she would need.

I also suspect it would depend on what universe the fight was taking place in, but you could probably say that of any ultimate showdown.

IMAGE(http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2011/04/batman-punching-schoolgirl-1302650055.jpg)

I dunno, looks like he's pretty into it to me.

And yeah, Indy's already shown how he deals with people with swords. No question on either of these.

Jones would either shoot her or whip the sword out of her hand, so Jones.

uhh, no.

Paleocon wins this round.

That's a little uneven, I think. You should at least give Eowyn a crossbow so the fight is a bit more even. Or remove Indy's gun so he has to rely on a whip.

Back to the hunger games picture - Are they playing true hunger game style where they start with no equipment?

In order for Batman to win he would have to break his moral code about killing. I suppose he could beat people up pretty bad and leave them for the dino's to get them...

Indy has such tremendous powers of seduction. And we know that Eowyn has a soft spot for rugged rogues with dad issues. I say that Indy has her fall in love with him.

Argument 2, Indy hides in his magic fridge while the A-bomb Waporizes her.

I am overwhelmed by your support.

Bonnonon wrote:

In order for Batman to win he would have to break his moral code about killing. I suppose he could beat people up pretty bad and leave them for the dino's to get them...

It's funny that none of you people realize that Batman wouldn't even bother with the other contestants. He'd disappear from the grid, get into the game master area, avoid patrols, find his way Seneca's office, wait for him, threaten him with personal information he garnered from accessing his personal files, find out that Seneca is just the middle man, and start gathering information on this kingpin known as "President Snow."

LobsterMobster wrote:

IMAGE(http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2011/04/batman-punching-schoolgirl-1302650055.jpg)

I dunno, looks like he's pretty into it to me.

Ok, I recind my argument, clearly Batman has no problems decking girls!

KingGorilla wrote:

My Elektra is a bit iffy. In my memory she has some sort of Deadpool/Wolverine healing or undying abilities. Is this accurate?

Yeah, I'm not too familiar with her. I think she fought Deadpool at some point? But really, who hasn't?

My Elektra is a bit iffy. In my memory she has some sort of Deadpool/Wolverine healing or undying abilities. Is this accurate?

OK per Wikipedia, she has telekenetic powers, can possess bodies, is a weapon and martial arts master-superb spead and agility.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elektra_(comics)#Powers_and_abilities

I am going with Elektra. Rambo benefits from normally going up against dumber foes, and cannon fodder. While Elektra has honed her skills on supervillians and matched or superior opponents.

Rambo is like a great AAA pitcher. He can blow away the minor league players, but when he gets brought to the Pro's there is a lot of uncertainty if the person can play at that level, for long.
Elektra is a pro super hero fighter.

Likewise not too familiar with Elektra, but I don't think she'd have much trouble perforating Rambo's oily, hotdog textured, roid-addled pelt.

She's been "dead" way to often to have healing ability.

Another vote for Elektra. She doesn't stay dead. Even if Rambo managed to kill her once she'd just come back at him again later. When he least expects it.

Rambo is good, as mentioned above, at taking on the system or taking out cannon fodder. One-on-one, I have to give it to Elektra, who is more experienced in one-on-one fights. Alsoplustoo, she is ninja.

After King Gorilla made his decree I have no choice but to bow to the almighty wisdom of our Goldbacked liege.

Elektra it is.

I is convinced. You people have swayed my vote to Elektra.

Rambo has one chance. Elektra has to meet him when he is at a Zen monastery or something like that. If they can bond as friends, and she can teach Rambo that there is beauty in the world still, that he is a good person then she will die in the very next scene. If she saves his soul, then she will die.

KingGorilla wrote:

Rambo has one chance. Elektra has to meet him when he is at a Zen monastery or something like that. If they can bond as friends, and she can teach Rambo that there is beauty in the world still, that he is a good person then she will die in the very next scene. If she saves his soul, then she will die.

I don't see how modern Rambo could do that, given his unintelligible, stroke-victim dialect.

Pages