A personal announcement, emphatic thank-you, and cheers to Fedora.

Hypatian wrote:

I think that poster is better as a "kick-starter" for thinking about these things, rather than a list of "stuff not to do". A jumping-off point for thinking about what it must feel like to be in that position, and how to behave thoughtfully around people who are.

That's the trick as I see things. Before you speak (or publish), try to empathize with the individual people about whom you're talking or to whom you are referring, and how they're going to feel about your words.

So, Sunday morning my Dad (which essentially means my parents) and my sister added me out of the blue on Google+. I hadn't sent an invite or anything, they just did it.

I haven't been using my G+ stream, but, as it happens, I've been keeping a running list of items I've come across on the internet that I wanted to share with them one day, all dealing with gay rights and addressing atheism in a positive, or at least rational, light. Who knows if they'll actually see it, but I found a new use for my G+ stream.

Sounds encouraging. I think it's a good sign when people show an active interest in keeping in touch.

Fingers crossed, Mike!
I'm glad you've found a possible avenue for this.
Edit: This isn't the place to make jabs at google+. I'm a terrible person.

I made this post on G+ this morning, but figured I'd put it here, too.

Today, in the United States, we do a remarkable thing. We enter a small, enclosed area, and push buttons on electronic screens, check boxes on pieces of paper, or pull mechanical levers, all to control, to some extent, the world we want to live in, from the kinds of votes that will affect our next door neighbors, to the kinds of votes that will affect someone living in an entirely different state.

You all know me, to some extent, but most likely have learned something about me in the past year that you didn't know before. All kinds of political issues are rolling around in my head, but it is hard for any one of them to be as personal as my human rights. When you enter the voting booth today, think of me. Think of how what you do may affect my happiness from this day forward. Think of thousands in this country older than me who have been fighting for decades to have a better world. Think of all of the young people still growing into a world that wants to tell them they are faulty, and less of a person because of who they love. Think of your own happiness, how you achieved it, and what you have gained because of it. If you are married, look into the eyes of your spouse and savor those feelings for a moment. Think of that button, or paper, or lever, and consider that it only takes such a simple action to make a difference. To decide whether or not you want to encourage the idea that people should not be able to look into the eyes of someone and feel the same way, even though their gender is the same, and be able to call them their spouse.

I am a gay man. One day, I hope to be with the man I love, and to shoulder every burden, hope, fear, joy, sorrow, consequence, and benefit that comes with those rights. Please, think before you vote against that for me.

Thank you Mike, for a poignant post, and the thread in general.

There have been some semi-thread-relevant thoughts bouncing in head recently, but I don't want to bog it down with theology, even if it is supportive theology. Instead I'll just say that I updated my Facebook profile pic to this this morning:

IMAGE(http://www.insidebainbridge.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/R74.jpg)

You aren't alone.

Garden Ninja wrote:

Thank you Mike, for a poignant post, and the thread in general.

There have been some semi-thread-relevant thoughts bouncing in head recently, but I don't want to bog it down with theology, even if it is supportive theology. Instead I'll just say that I updated my Facebook profile pic to this this morning:

IMAGE(http://www.insidebainbridge.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/R74.jpg)

You aren't alone.

Love this.

I also voted to approve R74.

Today I overheard a co-worker saying that literally the only thing that matters to him in this election is which candidate will lower his taxes by the most and give him, personally, the most money.

I thought of this thread, and others like it, and how there are stakes much more important than money on the line. Thank you for your post.

In Maryland, it's Question 6. I'd go back to the poll and vote 'yes' over and over again if they let me. There's a lot going on in this election, but this was one of the single most important issues to me.

Though my presidential vote didn't make much of a difference, I had the pleasure of casting a vote against this guy.

To disfavor practicing homosexuals in custody matters is not invidious discrimination, nor is it legislating personal morality. On the contrary, disfavoring practicing homosexuals in custody matters promotes the general welfare of the people of our State in accordance with our law, which is the duty of its public servants...

ಠ_ಠ

NSmike, I've had people posting 'down here' on Facebook about political donations, donation sources, and all sorts of inconsequential crap.

Voting down here is mandatory, and tax payer funded. They have no understanding of the US political system, how candidates 'need' funding and many forget this.

I have just posted your take on the election on my own status attributing it to "thoughts from a very good friend of mine, in the US, regarding the election."

I hope you don't mind, and I hope it changes their focus and political commentary from one of money, to human values.

Thank you for the eloquence of your words. I only hope that the World in general can come together on this. I have far too many friends in the same place as you, hoping that one day the term 'union' can finally be gender neutral.

YAY! 74 passed!
I'm so proud of my state tonight. I'm so glad I got a chance to cast my vote!

m0nk3yboy wrote:

NSmike, I've had people posting 'down here' on Facebook about political donations, donation sources, and all sorts of inconsequential crap.

Voting down here is mandatory, and tax payer funded. They have no understanding of the US political system, how candidates 'need' funding and many forget this.

I have just posted your take on the election on my own status attributing it to "thoughts from a very good friend of mine, in the US, regarding the election."

I hope you don't mind, and I hope it changes their focus and political commentary from one of money, to human values.

Thank you for the eloquence of your words. I only hope that the World in general can come together on this. I have far too many friends in the same place as you, hoping that one day the term 'union' can finally be gender neutral.

Don't mind at all. Thank you.

Rights for gays, right now. Rights for gays, oh yeah.

Right now.

Interesting look back at the last 8 years and in particular Obama's evolution on the issue.

A couple of quick personal notes:

In a few days, it will have been a year since I moved. A lot has happened to me since then... And not much has changed dramatically. I regret that a little.

On October 11, which is "National Coming Out Day" I wrote a letter to my aunt and uncle who live near my parents, coming out to them. I hadn't heard anything directly from them since then, but I did find out from my mother that she and he (her brother) talked about it. Thanksgiving is at his house this year, and he informed my parents that I was most definitely invited to come for dinner. Minor annoyance that they couldn't just invite me themselves, but oh well. Old habits, most likely. I'd been living at home for so long, invites always went through my parents.

I had been writing a letter to my parents to address some things around the one year anniversary, but after re-reading some things in this thread, I'd forgotten some of the advice given the last time I tried to smooth things over, and realized that they don't need my input. So I'm tabling that whole idea. And probably taking it off the table, unless something warrants a response. I just need to go on living, and being who I am, and forget about the discomfort I feel. So that's my goal with Thanksgiving this year. If the conversation turns my sexuality, I'll just be frank, and as comfortable with it as I can be. Otherwise, I'm just who I always was. Which is largely true.

This is definitely one of those times, though, where I'm really kicking myself for not coming out younger. I've missed out on so much, and I would probably be able to deal with a lot of the issues that are holding me back right now so much easier.

NSMike wrote:

This is definitely one of those times, though, where I'm really kicking myself for not coming out younger. I've missed out on so much, and I would probably be able to deal with a lot of the issues that are holding me back right now so much easier.

That's a terrible trap to fall into. And, you know, there are probably older people than you who wish they'd had the strength to come out at your age.

A lot of my issues are the result of having waited too long to do something to change. It's evident in just about everything I do, and it's a lesson I refuse to learn, apparently.

Yeah. But... better to look forward to the good things to come than spend time wishing it had been otherwise. Try to do better next time, and if you don't, no big deal. You'll get around to it.

One of these days, I'm even going to listen to my own advice and stop getting depressed about being bald.

Nothing to add here, except go Mike!

NSMike wrote:

A lot of my issues are the result of having waited too long to do something to change. It's evident in just about everything I do, and it's a lesson I refuse to learn, apparently.

I've seen the young gay scene in major urban areas. It can get pretty intense.

Maybe it's looking back on the bar/club scene as I experienced it when I was younger ... I don't know. I learned a lot from it eventually, but mostly unhappy lessons.

Mike - Pretty much every time I've ever said I was too old to do X or change Y, I've later realized I was completely wrong.

I know it's not too late to change things, no matter the context, but I still usually wait much longer than I had to.

NSMike wrote:

I know it's not too late to change things, no matter the context, but I still usually wait much longer than I had to.

You're in good company there!

NSMike wrote:

I know it's not too late to change things, no matter the context, but I still usually wait much longer than I had to.

I say this with love:

And...? Your point is...?

To put it more seriously, just because you came out at almost 30 ultimately doesn't mean squat. You'll still be able to grow into the whole person you were meant to be, it's just going to involve a few more wrinkles and/or grey hairs when you get there. What's important is that you came out. And, as you can tell, we're all rooting for you.

There's a whole lot of missing context from my comments here. I'm not talking about coming out anymore. I'm also not really in a good emotional place right now to discuss any of this, so I'm not going to continue to comment.

Understood, and no worries.

NSMike wrote:

I'm also not really in a good emotional place right now to discuss any of this, so I'm not going to continue to comment.

I hope you'll keep reading, as I just wanted to add something small that I would like to give thanks for.

3rd revision... (Getting to the crux of it)

You are a great human being, with the ability to convey your feelings with maturity and eloquence. I'm glad you're in my life, and the people I have shared your experiences with, as posted in this thread, are better for it too.

Hell of a year, hell of a person. Thanks-(for being so)-giving of yourself with us all.

((((hugs))))

You can never have too many hugs.

((((hugs))))

hm, i just found this thread after finding the 'how to be a woman' thread on the 'recent' posts thing.

I applaud you and wanted to thank you being a part of what makes this community so great, and thank you for your kind words about the community. It's also wonderful to hear that your father reacted the way he had.

Now on to things more important to me... I saw your name and immediately thought 'dude, he's of the Thursday nighters in BC2 that went awol for bf3'. Why you haven't been playing BF3 despite having played so much BC2?

Come onn, we need new blood, there's a new content update soon, come on and shoot people with us.