A personal announcement, emphatic thank-you, and cheers to Fedora.

ClockworkHouse wrote:

Good luck today, Hypatian! Geronimo!

Allons-y!

Edit: Interesting, relevant new Kickstarter:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/...

We (Dacia+Sara) are traveling to Thailand for 2 weeks in November to interview trans folks and their surgeons as they go through this life-changing transition. We will also explore the Thai culture that has openly embraced the trans community flooding their borders.

This project hits on the two most critical issues facing our American culture; health care reform and LGBTQ rights. Your support will directly fund independent journalism and help share the invaluable stories of the most underreported populations.

The intake process went well, I think. Pretty thorough questionnaire and interview. The admissions coordinator will present my case at the next staff meeting and one of the counselors will take me on, and get in touch about setting up a regular schedule for sessions. The person I talked to at Transpitt said that she waited for about four weeks between intake and the first session. (They've got a bit of a waiting list.) I'll probably have to tweak my work schedule around for whenever we end up scheduling, but that should be fine.

And it looks like my insurance will cover counseling (kind of a no-brainer, but you never know), which takes the cost after I fill my $250 deductible down from "I would happily pay that" to "I would happily pay 5x that", which is nice.

Now for the personal next steps that I was waiting on this before pursuing. It's time for me to look into facial hair removal. Pretty sure insurance is [em]not[/em] going to cover that.

Awesome! Ganbatte-yo!

For those of us girls who can't seem to keep from tearing up a manicure, there is always the "natural" buff and (no)polish manicure. Nicely kept with a natural shine that doesn't chip off, because nothing is applied to the nail. Also don't forget that you can paint your toenails any crazy set of colors with none the wiser if you are wearing shoes & socks to work. Not necessarily as fun as silky underwear, but incognito just the same.

Glad you feel good about the interview.

IMAGE(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/400421_461293703905306_400247957_n.jpg)

RedJen wrote:

For those of us girls who can't seem to keep from tearing up a manicure, there is always the "natural" buff and (no)polish manicure. Nicely kept with a natural shine that doesn't chip off, because nothing is applied to the nail. Also don't forget that you can paint your toenails any crazy set of colors with none the wiser if you are wearing shoes & socks to work. Not necessarily as fun as silky underwear, but incognito just the same.

Glad you feel good about the interview.

IMAGE(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/400421_461293703905306_400247957_n.jpg)

IMAGE(http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/1299/pbf024adnicetshirtzg2.jpg)

Tanglebones wrote:
RedJen wrote:

For those of us girls who can't seem to keep from tearing up a manicure, there is always the "natural" buff and (no)polish manicure. Nicely kept with a natural shine that doesn't chip off, because nothing is applied to the nail. Also don't forget that you can paint your toenails any crazy set of colors with none the wiser if you are wearing shoes & socks to work. Not necessarily as fun as silky underwear, but incognito just the same.

Glad you feel good about the interview.

IMAGE(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/400421_461293703905306_400247957_n.jpg)

IMAGE(http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/1299/pbf024adnicetshirtzg2.jpg)

IMAGE(http://pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF253-The_Last_Unicorns.jpg)

RedJen wrote:

For those of us girls who can't seem to keep from tearing up a manicure, there is always the "natural" buff and (no)polish manicure. Nicely kept with a natural shine that doesn't chip off, because nothing is applied to the nail. Also don't forget that you can paint your toenails any crazy set of colors with none the wiser if you are wearing shoes & socks to work. Not necessarily as fun as silky underwear, but incognito just the same.

Glad you feel good about the interview.

IMAGE(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/the-most-important-thing-in-life-is-to-be-yourself-batman.jpg)

FTFY. Though in this context, maybe Batgirl makes more sense?

Those pictures broke me. Thanks, everybody.

I'll also Nth the no-polish manicure idea. I scorched one of may nails good and proper a week or so ago while soldering and if I'd had a real manicure it would have probably lit the polish on fire.

Just caught up on this thread—from August. "Looks like Hypatian's posting a lot," I thought to myself, "I wonder what's going on?"

Congrats, Hypatian! It was pretty amazing to read your journey up to now in one sitting. Good luck with everything, and here's hoping it gets better and better. It sounds like it's been something like gear grinding for years, and now things are starting to mesh.

Also, and forgive me if this is prying or going off-topic, but something came up briefly in this thread and hasn't really been addressed outright, whether it needs to be or not, but I can't help myself for being curious: Star Trek pizza cutter?

How else are you going to cut pizza up into chevron shaped slices?

That's what I can't figure out.

Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter

My sister sent it to me for my birthday. The "I... never would have bought that for myself!" gifts are the fun ones.

Hypatian wrote:

Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter

My sister sent it to me for my birthday. The "I... never would have bought that for myself!" gifts are the fun ones. :)

!!!

I know what Mrs. Gravey is getting in her stocking this Christmas. Thanks, Hyp!

To be perfectly honest, I've always been more into the tomboyish girls than the girly girls, so +1 to the folks who are saying "you don't have to actually look all woman-y to FEEL like a woman." What's important is how you feel and what makes you happy, so don't worry too much about meeting the "standards" of how a woman should look, at least as far as clothes do, if it makes you feel strange. Baby steps, and do what makes you happy.

Goodjer-nation is rooting for you!

I am keen on being a tomboy.

The concern with passing is really one of "Will people who don't know anything about me see me and interact with me as a man?" or "Will people be extremely uncomfortable around me because they see me as a man but there are enough cues that they're uncertain?" Where I [em]want[/em] to be is a place where if someone new meets me they see me as a woman, even if I'm dressed totally casually in jeans and a t-shirt or something. I would like to be [em]able[/em] to dress up nicely, but I hope that I do not end up [em]having[/em] to dress up in order to avoid being perceived as male, as a foil to masculine features.

I have a certain amount of "Honey Hypatian don't give a sh*t" attitude. But being in that position day in and day out would be really really stressful. So I want to believe I can reach a point where I'm not perceived as "other, shun-shun" on a regular basis.

I'd say the things that are of paramount importance are voice and hair. Hair because I'm somewhere between stage VI and VII on the Norwood scale (see below). There are women who have male pattern baldness, but it's unusual, and they generally wear wigs. If you see a girl with a shaved head (and I've known and been totally into some), you're pretty much never going to see hair stubble in that pattern, so wearing wigs is something I will absolutely have to do. (And I need to start experimenting with that. I am making a [em]real[/em] to-do list now and not just in forum posts, because I keep putting doing these things off, which is dumb.)

(Note: I've thought that it would be kind of cool to get a scalp tattoo at some point, as an awesome secret feature when not wearing a wig. On the other hand: OW!)

The other half of hair, well, like I said: next big (expensive) step, facial hair removal. If it's possible for a male face to grow hair somewhere, I probably do. From high on my cheekbones to way down my neck. Heck, if it's possible for a male [em]body[/em] to grow any hair anywhere, I probably do. I'm hoping hormones will help reduce the other hair to the point where I don't need to take drastic action, though. (I had a girlfriend who was pretty hairy. She didn't really want to be, but she pretty much couldn't shave without getting the world's most awful in-grown hairs. She tried electrolysis for her legs but it didn't take. She eventually gave up, and had cute furry legs, and a bit of a line of hair below her navel. That was unusual, but adorable. But there is a whole world of hair between that and where I am at present.)

So hair and facial hair are both reasonably "easy". Voice is a bit harder. For voice, there's a great deal of variation in voice pitch and resonance in both genders, but on average there's about an octave difference in pitch, and a dramatic difference in resonance. So that's something I'm already working on. It's a matter of lots of time and practice. I'm trying to spend about an hour a night on basic exercises right now. I tried altering my voice during a L4D2 game the other week, which I think was more amusing than successful. It turns out to be really hard (hence being a long-term practice thing). But it was a fun way to practice. And at least one person had an amusing "wait, what?" reaction because they hadn't seen this thread. ;>

Everything else... it's really hard to say how hormones will treat me. They create some very dramatic changes. They don't widen hip bones or narrow shoulders, but there are a lot of body language things around those features, and that's very deal-able. I'm older, and that means testosterone has had a long time to work its evil ways on me, so it's hard to say how things will end up. But, there are a lot of options for working with that, from plastic surgery to adjustments in body language or choosing clothing to emphasize or de-emphasize certain features.

Any of that is a good distance in the future right now. I expect that the earliest I would want to consider any major changes would be after seeing the results from two years of being on hormones. I'm sure there'll be temptation to "hurry things along" on the way, but you really have to just wait and see what happens. Right now, I feel that I'd like to do as little "extra work" as possible. Just the bare minimum (if any) in order to be comfortable with myself and blend into society more easily.

Super-long super-slow adventure: activate!

Male pattern baldness reference:

IMAGE(http://manlycurls.com/blog_new/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/norwood_scale.gif)

You're almost too well-adjusted about this.

Thankfully, a lot of things that help you read as female are mannerisms and movements, and becoming proficient at those has nothing to do with your current level of hirsute-ness.

And re: voice, I sing a quality tenor, for what it's worth. "Husky" might be something to cultivate if getting too high starts to feel off.

Gravey wrote:
Hypatian wrote:

Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter

My sister sent it to me for my birthday. The "I... never would have bought that for myself!" gifts are the fun ones. :)

!!!

I know what Mrs. Gravey is getting in her stocking this Christmas. Thanks, Hyp!

Didn't you guys just have a kid?

clover wrote:

You're almost too well-adjusted about this. :D

Well, there are [em]some[/em] benefits to having spent twenty years mulling things over.

clover wrote:

Thankfully, a lot of things that help you read as female are mannerisms and movements, and becoming proficient at those has nothing to do with your current level of hirsute-ness.

And re: voice, I sing a quality tenor, for what it's worth. "Husky" might be something to cultivate if getting too high starts to feel off.

Practice practice practice. I think the biggest thing is just getting used to a higher [em]speaking[/em] register (I speak at a pretty typical 110Hz (A2), typical female is around 220Hz (A3), and around 180Hz (F3ish) is when people start being unsure), and adjusting resonance. The male vocal tract has a lot of room down in the chest to "boom" (hence the lowered and prominent Adam's apple). In order to still project without that big low resonating area, it's necessary to bring more of the resonance up into the mouth. So you're using different muscles and speaking from a different sort of "place". I have some background in linguistics, which gives me a bit of a leg up in understanding vocal production than a lot of people have, which is nice. And I've picked up a collection of audio recordings (mentioned above) for help doing voice training in both of these areas, plus some differences in contonation and pacing between typical male and female American English speech (i.e. the tonal patterns of speech across words and sentences and the rhythm of speech).

On the plus side, my voice covers my whole range pretty well without breaking in the middle anywhere--my voice currently starts to hit its limit on the high end at about 330Hz (E4), which isn't awful. I'd probably be a baritone if I trained my voice (my vocal production is weak on both ends of my range). That's primarily of interest for natural contonation, so that my voice is comfortable hitting higher accents. Anyway, like I said: Practice is the key. Getting used to just how to produce sound differently and then managing to do it without conscious effort. It's hard, but really interesting, too, to try to manipulate such a complicated mechanism that most non-singers tend to use unthinkingly.

On the minus side, I've been a smoker for 15 years (which I need to stop doing because there's a risk of blood clots if you use nicotine while on HRT), which has not done any particularly good things to my voice.

And yeah, mannerisms, etc. I've been doing a lot of people-watching.

I do not mean to be discouraging, or counter productive. So do not take this the wrong way, but this makes me sad in some ways. I have spent my 30 years of life battling being more masculine and less effeminate. I was always uncomfortable with my body and no hair and not shaving and not being like all the other guys. I am 30 years old and when I answer the phone to this day I get ma'm.

Just doesn't seem fair.... yes I know life is not fair. Just Female Doggoing!

Cheeto1016 wrote:

I do not mean to be discouraging, or counter productive. So do not take this the wrong way, but this makes me sad in some ways. I have spent my 30 years of life battling being more masculine and less effeminate. I was always uncomfortable with my body and no hair and not shaving and not being like all the other guys. I am 30 years old and when I answer the phone to this day I get ma'm.

Just doesn't seem fair.... yes I know life is not fair. Just Female Doggoing!

The grass is always greener... I would do a lot to never have to shave again. Ultimately though, that doesn't really compare. I hate it because it's inconvenient and annoying, not because I am uncomfortable with gender perceptions.

Cheeto1016 wrote:

I do not mean to be discouraging, or counter productive. So do not take this the wrong way, but this makes me sad in some ways. I have spent my 30 years of life battling being more masculine and less effeminate. I was always uncomfortable with my body and no hair and not shaving and not being like all the other guys. I am 30 years old and when I answer the phone to this day I get ma'm.

Just doesn't seem fair.... yes I know life is not fair. Just Female Doggoing!

Maybe you two could just swap hormones for a while. USPS still handles hormones, don't they?

Cheeto, you shrill, beautiful, hairless ginger. If you're not happy with yourself, that's one thing and know that if I can ever do anything to help, I'm at your disposal.

But as your friend, I can tell you that you're loved for who you are, strange as that person may be =)

oilypenguin wrote:

Cheeto, you shrill, beautiful, hairless ginger. If you're not happy with yourself, that's one thing and know that if I can ever do anything to help, I'm at your disposal.

But as your friend, I can tell you that you're loved for who you are, strange as that person may be =)

Hear hear.

NSMike wrote:

I would do a lot to never have to shave again. Ultimately though, that doesn't really compare. I hate it because it's inconvenient and annoying, not because I am uncomfortable with gender perceptions.

The answer is easy! Subscribe to the Sean "elysium" Sands School of beard design! No more messy shaving! and today as a special offer just for you Mike, pillow of heterosexuality not included!

Prozac wrote:
NSMike wrote:

I would do a lot to never have to shave again. Ultimately though, that doesn't really compare. I hate it because it's inconvenient and annoying, not because I am uncomfortable with gender perceptions.

The answer is easy! Subscribe to the Sean "elysium" Sands School of beard design! No more messy shaving! and today as a special offer just for you Mike, pillow of heterosexuality not included! ;)

Protip: Don't let Prozac shave you.

Cheeto1016 wrote:

I am 30 years old and when I answer the phone to this day I get ma'm.

I'm 35 and hear "ma'am" on the phone at work, too.

For good or ill, I've had to learn the difference between malice and an honest accident. At our age, 99% of them are thankfully honest accidents.

Problems I wish I had.

And yeah, I'd totally change places with you if I could, Cheeto. Ahh, well. I think Prozac already has dibs on my spare testosterone, though.

Hypatian wrote:

I think Prozac already has dibs on my spare testosterone, though.

Yeah, give more testosterone to the dictator.

Woosh!

Choked horribly two or three times this afternoon, failing to call to set up an appointment for a hair removal consultation. Finally managed to call this evening. Don't have a firm time set yet, but the main electrolysist (is that a word?) is going to call me back when he's done with his sessions for the night.

I got a short dose of "Okay, let me tell you what you're letting yourself in for" from the other electrolysist, who answered the phone. I think I managed to get through the idea that before I called I already expected this to hurt like a ****, and then she seemed less anxious. Makes me think that they have men think "Hey, I hate shaving, I'll get electrolysis done", followed by "Oh sweet Jesus, make the hurting stop!" and they don't come back.