ianunderhill vs. cancer (RIP Nick)

DanB wrote:

I realise I may be late to the party here but have you thought of cooking crystal meth?

+1

Sparhawk wrote:
DanB wrote:

I realise I may be late to the party here but have you thought of cooking crystal meth?

+1

There's good money in it. Just make sure you know how to make fulminated mercury, too.

trichy wrote:
Sparhawk wrote:
DanB wrote:

I realise I may be late to the party here but have you thought of cooking crystal meth?

+1

There's good money in it. Just make sure you know how to make fulminated mercury, too.

You gotta find a good lab assistant too, yo.

I just spent a good long part of the day on public transit and then running around the hospital campus getting prescriptions filled (three cheers for at-cost medicine!) and getting a bunch of paperwork sorted out. It's left me exhausted, and that's really saying a lot - my time in the hospital, with various stints of being NPO and having to take super-laxatives and what, has left me weak and skinny. I'm down to the sort of weight I was at when I was doing criterium racing and all the related training last year (~153lbs. when I'm 5'11") but without any of the taught muscle mass or fitness that made me feel invincible back then. Apart from this being really disconcerting and making the gradual abdominal distension look super-exaggerated as it worsens, the part that kills me is backing out of plans in the week prior to going under the knife. I'd really wanted to just have a fun, normal sort of week and see people and eat normal food and have a few laughs. But I'm feeling so beat that even the prospect of people dropping by for a short visit today doesn't feel tenable.

On the extreme plus side, the hospital contracts with a third party team to help sort out all the financial assistance stuff for the likes of me. That is, the hospital pays them for their services and there's no charge to me, and their services extend to "we'll continuously appeal any assistance you might get turned down for until we get it for you" and "just fax us any bills you might receive and we'll make sure everything gets taken care of". I was concerned about state and federal stuff for assistance being an administrative nightmare, but these folks are doing all the hard work for me and keeping in touch to keep me updated on everything. I only had to spend so much time visiting them today to get a bunch of things signed and to give my okay on their being able to see my medical records. It was a bit of a pain, but from here on out, it sounds like the main thing they'll need from me is copies of anything I might get sent bill-wise so that they can help keep track of everything and help me find the maximum assistance I can get. The name of the game is redundancy, but faxing documents is thankfully pretty easy stuff. Once more, this hospital proves to be on the patient's side all the way. I'm super glad I decided to go where I did.

Oh, and meth-wise, everything I ever needed to dissuade me from aping Breaking Bad, I learned from a PSA they used to run in Oregon circa 2007 (when I lived in Portland for several months before getting divorced and moving back to Chicago) - they show a neighbor's house through a kitchen window at night, and suddenly, the house explodes because of the meth lab therein.

I'd post a link, but I can't find the damned thing anywhere. Same thing goes for a "don't drink and boat" PSA from Missouri in the early-90s (a boy shouts, "Dad! Grampa!" after their row boat is struck by a drunk mullet-sporting fellowing in a speed boat), as well as a bike safety PSA aired in Pennsylvania and possibly New York (state) in the mid-80s featuring a blatant Peewee Herman rip-off.

Okay, back on topic, lest I start talking about my small collection of safety films and social guidance shorts.

ianunderhill wrote:

Same thing goes for a "don't drink and boat" PSA from Missouri in the early-90s

Generic beer!

ianunderhill wrote:

social guidance shorts. :D

IMAGE(http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh10/runfast800/shorts.jpg)

fleabagmatt wrote:
ianunderhill wrote:

Same thing goes for a "don't drink and boat" PSA from Missouri in the early-90s

Generic beer!

I have been looking for that for AGES, and had given up a few years ago. Thank you! It appears my memory is a bit off re: the mullet, but I guess the squealing guitars even out the discrepancy.

EDIT: And the blood fountain at the end is just as puzzling now as it was then.

ianunderhill wrote:

Oh, and meth-wise, everything I ever needed to dissuade me from aping Breaking Bad, I learned from a PSA they used to run in Oregon circa 2007 (when I lived in Portland for several months before getting divorced and moving back to Chicago) - they show a neighbor's house through a kitchen window at night, and suddenly, the house explodes because of the meth lab therein.

I'd post a link, but I can't find the damned thing anywhere. Same thing goes for a "don't drink and boat" PSA from Missouri in the early-90s (a boy shouts, "Dad! Grampa!" after their row boat is struck by a drunk mullet-sporting fellowing in a speed boat), as well as a bike safety PSA aired in Pennsylvania and possibly New York (state) in the mid-80s featuring a blatant Peewee Herman rip-off.

Okay, back on topic, lest I start talking about my small collection of safety films and social guidance shorts. :D

Well, I think we're all assuming that you'd bring the same level of professionalism and attention to detail to meth production that you use when working on bikes. Don't sell yourself short.

Alien13z wrote:

Well, I think we're all assuming that you'd bring the same level of professionalism and attention to detail to meth production that you use when working on bikes. Don't sell yourself short.

I'm delighted you people think I'd kick ass at synthesizing and dealing illicit drugs. You guys are the best.

I'm a bit behind on the thread, but we live in Greektown -- if you need help around the Rush-UIC area, we can probably help. Shoot me a PM, or email me (erik, at this site).

Thanks wordy! The hospital is actually Rush University Medical, so that's great to keep in mind.

And I think that may be the first time I mentioned the hospital specifically. I'll have more to say post-surgery, but everything thus far has been pretty stellar.

ianunderhill wrote:

I just spent a good long part of the day on public transit and then running around the hospital campus getting prescriptions filled (three cheers for at-cost medicine!) and getting a bunch of paperwork sorted out. It's left me exhausted, and that's really saying a lot - my time in the hospital, with various stints of being NPO and having to take super-laxatives and what, has left me weak and skinny. I'm down to the sort of weight I was at when I was doing criterium racing and all the related training last year (~153lbs. when I'm 5'11") but without any of the taught muscle mass or fitness that made me feel invincible back then. Apart from this being really disconcerting and making the gradual abdominal distension look super-exaggerated as it worsens, the part that kills me is backing out of plans in the week prior to going under the knife. I'd really wanted to just have a fun, normal sort of week and see people and eat normal food and have a few laughs. But I'm feeling so beat that even the prospect of people dropping by for a short visit today doesn't feel tenable.

If ever there is a time to put your own needs first and not feel guilty about it - this is that time. My husband has taken the super-laxatives you get at the hospital for pre-surgery/colonoscopy stuff - he says they're really, really awful and leave you feeling like you got hit by a truck, so I think a little down time to just be exhausted and not deal with people is understandable. Esp. if you had to choke down that apparently vile lemon stuff - I hear that the "lemon" flavour is not very lemony at all.

On the extreme plus side, the hospital contracts with a third party team to help sort out all the financial assistance stuff for the likes of me. That is, the hospital pays them for their services and there's no charge to me, and their services extend to "we'll continuously appeal any assistance you might get turned down for until we get it for you" and "just fax us any bills you might receive and we'll make sure everything gets taken care of". I was concerned about state and federal stuff for assistance being an administrative nightmare, but these folks are doing all the hard work for me and keeping in touch to keep me updated on everything. I only had to spend so much time visiting them today to get a bunch of things signed and to give my okay on their being able to see my medical records. It was a bit of a pain, but from here on out, it sounds like the main thing they'll need from me is copies of anything I might get sent bill-wise so that they can help keep track of everything and help me find the maximum assistance I can get. The name of the game is redundancy, but faxing documents is thankfully pretty easy stuff. Once more, this hospital proves to be on the patient's side all the way. I'm super glad I decided to go where I did.

This sounds like all kinds of awesome. I'm so glad they are taking the financial worries off your shoulders so you can focus on yourself and your health.

I'm delighted you people think I'd kick ass at synthesizing and dealing illicit drugs. You guys are the best.

Repeat that a little more slowly, the mike may not have got it the first time around. Oh, and what are your feelings on jihad, comrade? ...May I call you "comrade"?

Mimble wrote:

My husband has taken the super-laxatives you get at the hospital for pre-surgery/colonoscopy stuff - he says they're really, really awful and leave you feeling like you got hit by a truck, so I think a little down time to just be exhausted and not deal with people is understandable. Esp. if you had to choke down that apparently vile lemon stuff - I hear that the "lemon" flavour is not very lemony at all.

I post the following for reference purposes only. It's not delightful reading, but it might give anyone an idea of what to expect and how to deal if presented with the need to deal with the type of powerful laxative issued in circumstances like these. So, spoiler-tagged for the benefit of any TMI-screaming crybabies:

Spoiler:

The one they had me on for the colonoscopy was MoviPrep. Here's what might surprise a lot of you: the actually flushing-your-bowels-out part isn't all that bad. Or at least, it wasn't in my case. They had me drink a liter of it the night before the procedure and another the morning of. The afternoon before the first liter had to be drank, the RN dealing with me at the time had advised me to try to get it all down in three hours. That way, not only would it work predictably, but it would also allow me to get to bed by 11pm (they gave it to me at 6pm) and get a good night's sleep.

Here's what I worked out on my own: the worst things about a super-laxative are the taste and then the prospect of your bowels continuously trying to clear themselves while there's not much in there. I diluted each 6oz, er, serving of the stuff with about 2-3oz of water and had a huge cup of ice on hand. This not only watered down the taste, but helped to make sure there was more liquid in me to keep things moving. I'd drink the 8-9oz solution every half hour, then cram ice in my mouth to numb my taste buds slightly and try to get rid of that awful flavor. This worked great until the last two cups, which were just a struggle to get down. When things started moving, I never hit any point where I felt I was straining, in pain, or otherwise engaged in a "reverse dry heave". Sure, I was more or less confined to the bathroom for a good two hours, but it got to the point where I'd hear things moving before I'd feel them. The worst bit by far was drinking the MoviPrep, and again, the dilution/ice numbing strategy and the timing made it a lot more tolerable an experience than it might have been otherwise.

Is this stuff more hardcore than what you would take for a colonoscopy?

That sounds about right, but I hadn't thought of the numbing the taste buds with ice to choke the stuff down. I'll have to recommend that to my husband next time he's due to have a colonoscopy.

I can recommend an iPad wholeheartedly as it's a little awkward to have someone keep you company while you sit on the toilet for two hours or more. I've been spared conversations shouted through the bathroom door because of that. Hospitals should have a stack of iPads on hand - loaded up with games and books - for when you have to take the yucky lemon stuff there instead of at home. Or, they could let you borrow one to take home and bring back when you go in for your procedure/surgery.

Yay payday! I threw a bit into the pot. Sending good thoughts and hope everything works out!

Spoiler:

f*ck cancer!

Thanks very much, Vega. I just saw the PayPal notification come through, read a name and address I didn't recognize, and immediately thought, "The Goodjers are at it again!"

On another somewhat positive note, it seems my dad may have dodged the bullet. Preliminary reports looks like they managed to get all of his cancer out. So yeah... f*ck cancer.

Pitched in some chump change to help out as well. This has not been a good month for me financially so hopefully this little bit helps... a little bit.

Here's hoping things pan out well for your dad, MoonDragon. And thanks for the donation, too.

Alien13z: the stuff I'm describing was issued for a colonoscopy, which is exactly why I described how I choked it down - I figured nobody here's getting any younger, so a winning strategy is possibly worth documenting. My weight loss and the weakness are/were slightly related to that, but also due to so much time in the hospital being on NPO status (no food or drink) prior to the numerous procedures they put me through, and then just being in bed shot full of morphine at the points where my abdominal distension was bad enough to where it hurt (which was the outset of this whole adventure, then the end of that first week at the hospital, and then again last weekend).

Mimble: yeah, I thought about tablet devices and my lack thereof a lot that night! As it happens, my parents are coming in for the surgery and will be forking over an earlier-model iPad so I can at least access streaming video services and do the ebook thing on a reasonably-sized display. I'm anticipating being drugged up enough where any gaming that isn't turn-based probably won't be an option.

ianunderhill wrote:

Alien13z: the stuff I'm describing was issued for a colonoscopy, which is exactly why I described how I choked it down - I figured nobody here's getting any younger, so a winning strategy is possibly worth documenting. My weight loss and the weakness are/were slightly related to that, but also due to so much time in the hospital being on NPO status (no food or drink) prior to the numerous procedures they put me through, and then just being in bed shot full of morphine at the points where my abdominal distension was bad enough to where it hurt (which was the outset of this whole adventure, then the end of that first week at the hospital, and then again last weekend).

Mimble: yeah, I thought about tablet devices and my lack thereof a lot that night! As it happens, my parents are coming in for the surgery and will be forking over an earlier-model iPad so I can at least access streaming video services and do the ebook thing on a reasonably-sized display. I'm anticipating being drugged up enough where any gaming that isn't turn-based probably won't be an option.

I was just wondering if they tried to get you even cleaner for what you've got than they would for a garden variety colonoscopy. When I got one in 2002 they gave me something called "Go Lightly" and made me fast for 40 hours. I did not go lightly. Doesn't really sound like they've improved the technology since then.

Alien13z wrote:

I was just wondering if they tried to get you even cleaner for what you've got than they would for a garden variety colonoscopy. When I got one in 2002 they gave me something called "Go Lightly" and made me fast for 40 hours. I did not go lightly. Doesn't really sound like they've improved the technology since then.

"GoLYTELY" is the official spelling - apparently it's got what plants crave. I've done a little looking around and it sounds like MoviPrep tastes "better" than GoLYTELY. That sounds like it's a pretty subjective analysis, though - MoviPrep is supposed to have a lemony flavor, and I can assure you that it doesn't in the slightest.

As for "even cleaner", I was NPO from that Sunday morning to Monday afternoon following the first paracentesis, after which I was allowed some juice and chicken broth and water, and then they had me on the MoviPrep that evening to get ready for Tuesday's colonoscopy. I hadn't been eating much in the days prior to going to the hospital because my appetite was very low, and there was no question they got all the solids out of me by the time I was done with that second liter of MoviPrep. Following the colonoscopy, they had me eating food again and I only went NPO twice more during that stay, and then only in the more typical "nothing after midnight, you've got a procedure the next morning" fashion for subsequent upper endoscopy and a second paracentesis on the successive days.

I would like to share some words of a local artist who painted works from his perspective as a cancer patient during his battle. The following rings very true of my own experience, I hope you too are able to find and hold onto the joy he speaks of.

Robert Pope wrote:

There were certain points in my illness when I was in a lot of pain and I can remember thinking at times that if only I could live without pain that would be wonderful. But then, if you just start to look at all the things in life there are to enjoy, just to be able to breathe air or to enjoy food or to enjoy the company of friends or the people that you love, the possibilities just multiply. There is so much richness in the world to enjoy. A feeling of rebirth, a sense of the almost overabundance of good things, is the feeling that comes to me.

So the distension started becoming uncomfortable again on Friday. Yesterday was fairly manageable, as was most of today, but right now I feel like hell - I'd put it at about a 4/10 on the pain scale. This is following having a small amount of soup for dinner. I'm waiting for the pain killers to kick back in so I can get a decent night's sleep at home. My folks are in town as of tomorrow afternoon, and while I'm pretty sure I could probably squeeze another day at home, it's just not worth it - I'm pretty sure I'm going to have my things packed up for the hospital and ask them to drive me back to the ER once they're at my place. It just isn't worth letting it get much worse than it is and going back in while enduring excruciating pain - might as well get it in so they can heavily medicate me, give me a drain, and then let me have a nice, normal feeling day pre-surgery, even if it is spent in the hospital.

Definitely better to pass a pain free day in the hospital, than an uncomfortable/painful one at home - esp. as you're due in for surgery anyway.

I hope it all goes textbook perfect. I'll be sending good thoughts your way and hope to hear back that it went well.

Also, hurrah for iPads! So much better than being bored in the toilet by yourself.

Best of luck, good ol' ian!!!!

Good luck, as always! You are a trooper.

Good luck!