The Pen

"The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short,
and the pen is very sharp." -- Terry Pratchett

Marriage rocks. It really does. The last 10 years with my wife have easily been the best 10 of my life. But relationships are a funny thing. While we share vast tracts of common ground, there are a few acres that don't overlap: I'm not particularly keen on romance novels, and she doesn't get fired up about gaming.

But then I sit down on the couch tonight with my shiny new Nintendo DS Lite, Brain Age cartridge in residence.

"What's that? A new toy?" She asks, with casual interest.

I look at her with the embarrassed eyes of a teenager caught with "Playboy" under his bed. I hand over the evidence.

"I got a good deal, sold some stuff on eBay. Sweet lookin' isn't it."

-----

I should point out at this point in the story that my wife is no stranger to games. Our cohabitation has been the domain of many a diversion: Atari 2600, Mac, 3DO, PlayStation, Nintendo 64, PC-with-voodoo, Gameboy, PS2, Gameboy Advance, Xbox, PC-with-Radeon, PSP. I've held late-night role playing games with 8 guys yelling at each other in a tiny loft space while she tried desperately (pregnant) to sleep. She's not only tolerated the wire shelves overflowing with joysticks, yokes, rudders, keyboards, old PCs and consoles, she's helped fill them with Christmas presents.

So grant me the indulgence of listing my wife's few direct journeys into the madness that is gaming:

  • She played Myst all the way through, on my stuttering, aging Macintosh. She was half naked with a wine glass nearby most of the time. We were dating. I lost her for a weekend. I nearly proposed on the spot.
  • She played a few games of Magic: the Gathering, during the depths of my addiction. She pretended to enjoy it.
  • She will play hearts or cribbage.
  • She will, if I beg, play chess. I've been studying chess for 30 years off and on. She has to be reminded how to castle. I lose 9 games out of 10.
  • When she lay down the gauntlet over her allegedly unassailable prowess at Tempest, I tracked down a stand-up arcade machine, vector screen still working, and bought it off ebay. She was right, of course.

These last two items have always left me vaguely suspicious. She's a science geek. Before committing the ultimate sacrifice (becoming a stay at home mom), she was a lab tech. She was a top-of-her-class MBA student, and a doing-very-well-thank-you-very-much consultant for one of those bigwig consultant firms so lionized in the Enron era (cough). So I've always harbored this fear -- or perhaps hope -- that the only reason she hasn't jumped deep into my avocation is that she loves me. She knows that she would kick my ass in anything she set her mind to, and thus, as a very giving woman, has chosen to humor me all these years.

-----

She runs her hands across the big white plastic chicklet.

"Cool. I like how it feels. It's all rounded. Not like your PSP."

The PSP was the most recent addition to the family. I bought it entirely out on impulsive the first time I ever held one. Say what you will, as a piece of technology, it's worthy of unbridled lust. To my wife it had seemed aesthetically pleasing on a shelf, but hard edged and unappealing as a device to be held.

"Yeah, well, it's Nintendo," I assure her.

This means something. She'd seen me waste my hours on a Gameboy Advance, and a Gamecube. While she doesn't play games, she knows the territory. She encourages me, rather than pulling me away. She'll see me in a foul mood, and know that the best thing is to send me to the basement, often with a direct command: fly, shoot, play WoW, find someone to beat at poker. She follows the current phases of my addiction like a pilot follows the weather.

Hopeful, I offer her the stylus.

"Try this thing: Brain Age. It got it for ten bucks when I bought the DS."

She gives me a somewhat bored look, but takes the stylus from me.

"It's not really a game, try it."

After five minutes, she is gone, deep in the trance. I descend to the basement, play some games, catch up on some work. At 11, I emerge, ready for bed. She sits there on the couch, DS still in hand.

"Why do I have to draw a koala bear before it lets me play the next sudoku?"

It's a sublime moment. She's entered game state. At long last, I've tapped what I always knew was inside her: the intelligent, casual gamer. And it took the DS to do it. I grin, widely and openly.

"I have no idea what your talking about."

She hands me the DS. She is indeed drawing a koala bear. I hover for a few minutes. I watch her go through the tests several times. And that's when I realize she's an android. She's cranking way down into the "Brain Age: 20" arena, essentially as good as it gets. Far from bored, she's revelling in the challenges. She's plowing through pattern recognition of 12 random numbers with ease. Her scores are 50% better than mine on every single test in the game.

Brain Age, or perhaps more accurately, the DS itself, breaks through all of her internal gaming barriers. She sits by herself in a reading chair, knees curled, with my daughters princess-posse running feral at her feet. It replaces her primary means of escapism: the book. Even the form factor of the DS is comforting: its smooth surface with the rounded edges is calm and dis-angular. The color is the soft white of seashells, not the harsh white of a hospital. The sounds are nostalgic, bringing back memories of 1980s arcades. The volume control is at her fingertips for when the phone rings. When she needs to run out the door, she just closes it and sticks it in her purse. The DS fits naturally into the rhythm of her non-gamer life.

But the real difference between the DS and everything other piece of game hardware is the stylus. With the DS in hand, she doesn't feel like a gamer. Whereas I use a d-pad controller as easily as I wiggle my toes, my wife picks one up and it's like wiggling her ears: not impossible, but not exactly intuitive. She's been using a pen her whole life. She's been using a mouse for 20 years. Neither one of these acts is remotely similar to mashing buttons on a gamepad. The stylus is organic. It's analog. It fits.

She taps me on the shoulder.

"What other games do you have for this thing?"

Comments

great article! Bought a DS for my seven year old, but my wife has taken it up during the off hours. She is mad about Mario. Simple, fun, and she loves it.

Ill have to pick her up a copy of Brainage, sounds like a good match.

This brings me hope in getting my wife interested in games-- she is much better at Brain Age than I am. Maybe I can slowly introduce her to the fun of gaming.

BTW, about halfway through:
"I bought it entirely out on impulsive the first time I ever held one."

I'm thinking that should read "I bought it entirely out of impulse..."

Great article! It really makes me want to run out and buy and DS Lite on impulse - something I absolutely cannot do.

Your descriptions of your gaming-life with your wife ring true for me too. My wife and I tried to beat Treasure Quest when we were dating (a coke to anyone who can dredge up that old game), then we gave up and embarked on a 100 game Cribbage tournament. By the end, 6 weeks later, we had pretty much sealed the deal on our relationship.

Nice writeup like always rabbit.

rabbit wrote:

Whereas I use a d-pad controller as easily as I wiggle my toes, my wife picks one up and it's like wiggling her ears: not impossible, but not exactly intuitive.

exactly my experience with console controllers. Game-killers for me.

And I feel fortunate that my wife has much the same tolerance for my gaming, even (misguidedly, as it turns out) gently pushing me towards my office the day we brought our daughter home from the hospital, telling me to take off my new-dad hat for a few hours.

Great article rabbit!

I had an extremely similar experience with the DS-Lite and my wife. I hadn't upgraded my GBA for years (still playing without backlight) and saw the DS-Lite as the right time to jump. My wife heard me mention it and picked it up for me for Father's Day - not knowing I would go out and buy it myself at lunch. So we had 2. I convinced her to keep one for herself. Got Brain Age cheap with both and she's basically been glued to it ever since. She loved the Sudoku interface for Brain Age (I wish they'd release a DS Sudoku that exploits that interface) and then discovered NSMB - which is currently the #1 household distraction for my wife AND my two kids (6 and 4).

My wife's absolutely a "casual gamer" and I really think Nintendo did most everything right with the DS-Lite.

Great article as always, rabbit. Haven't seen you in WoW country lately - do you indeed still visit?

I've already told many stories of the wonders the DS has helped me work on my fiancee. When I met her, I was intrigued that she sometimes played Age of Empires and had read the Ender's Game series. I wanted to work to cultivate these seeds of gamer geekism within her.

I tried several different tacts, none of which were too successful. She loves puzzle games like Super Puzzle Fighter and Tetris Attack, and had played a fair amount of Crash Bandicoot, but she seemed uninterested in breaking into any new gaming territory. When Nintendogs was announced for the DS, it seemed like the perfect doorway drug. I started asking her mysterious questions about her favorite kind of dog in order to buy the right edition. When I presented her with the DS and Nintendogs, it grabbed hold of her immediately, and she went to work on her new pet, Cupcake. Some nights I would be playing BF2, and I would hear her say "Sit down, Cupcake!" in another room. There were reports that she was feeding Cupcake during her lunchtime at work, or even taking her for walks during breaks.

After a while, though, the game became more of a chore than a delight, and a digital canine euthanist (yours truly) was brought in to delete the save game that was Cupcake's tenuous grasp on life. But other games would follow: Phoenix Wright (played until she got stuck), and Trauma Center (same). At the release of Mario Kart DS, I bought myself a DS and two copies of the game. Although she was afraid to play against me at first, she quickly started beating me, and now I'm lucky to beat her 1 in 5 races. At least, I would assume that figure is still good; her dominance of that game is so complete that we haven't raced each other in ages. She also dabbled in Brain Age for a week or so.

Then came New Super Mario DS, which was meant as a birthday present for me, but which she monopolized for a few weeks until beating it, a first for her; afterwards she experienced an empty feeling, and turned to me to ask "What now?" Since that time there has been a lull in her gaming life. I caught her, once or twice, returning to her old comfort food of Age of Empires, but for the most part she went gameless.

Until Friday, when I finally got her to try World of Warcraft. Last night she hit level 10 on her Night Elf Hunter, and gained the ability to train pets. Keep an eye out for her; she's currently running around the Elvish areas of Azeroth, with or without me...accompanied by an owl named Cupcake.

Heck, I don't have to try and get my wife addicted, in fact when Mercenaries 2 comes out, I will be forced to buy an Xbox360 just so she can play it. She loves blowing stuff up.

Yeah.. A pink DS will be showing up on my credit card bill fairly soon...

I'll probably be going for NSMB next.

As for WoW, I haven't been on in a while. Too hard to pick up for 30 mins at a time, and that's kind of what I've had.

Fedaykin98 wrote:

Until Friday, when I finally got her to try World of Warcraft. Last night she hit level 10 on her Night Elf Hunter, and gained the ability to train pets. Keep an eye out for her; she's currently running around the Elvish areas of Azeroth, with or without me...accompanied by an owl named Cupcake.

I'm sorry we helped you last night now! An owl named cupcake? Thats so wrong... Clearly cupcake is a tiger's name!

This tells me never to get a DS.

For the record, I think I've got the Lady hooked. From her original statement of "I only like the original Super Mario Brothers for the Nintendo," we have progressed to "I am seriously addicted to Animal Crossing and enjoy many other games for the Gamecube." [Both statements paraphrased]

So I was thinking of getting her a DS Lite for Christmas, along with Brain Age, NSMB & Animal Crossing:WW. Does anyone know of any good bundles out there? Less than $200 would be ideal, but I don't know if that will be a legitimate price...

I got my DS and BrainAge for 140 (you can get that deal at Bestbuy.com). Of course, then I bought two other games, screen protectors, and the media dock, so I blew through 200 pretty quick.

painthappens wrote:
Fedaykin98 wrote:

Until Friday, when I finally got her to try World of Warcraft. Last night she hit level 10 on her Night Elf Hunter, and gained the ability to train pets. Keep an eye out for her; she's currently running around the Elvish areas of Azeroth, with or without me...accompanied by an owl named Cupcake.

I'm sorry we helped you last night now! An owl named cupcake? Thats so wrong... Clearly cupcake is a tiger's name! :D

If you like that, try this: After SM last night, I switched over to my lvl 9 Druid that I had created to play with her (all told, she played for over three hours straight last night!). We were killing some spiders, but Cupcake was just fluttering at her side in defensive mode while my fiancee made ranged attacks. I said "Honey, send in your pet to attack while you shoot!" To which she replied "Cupcake attacks when she wants to!" Sooooooo cute.

Amen Rabbit! I had the exact same experience with my wife. I'm always looking for more ways to interest her in videogames, so she understands the logic behind "It's just a game, why are you so distracted?". Previously, I had to sit her and her other married friends (most of who's husbands are my friends and are all avid gamers) down and explain to them that when we're playing an online game, it's like we're playing volleyball with a group of people. If they want to come in and pull us away from the game, it can be affecting the rest of the team, especially if you're piloting a B17 full of friendly troops at that particular moment.

After she got hooked on Brain Age by watching me play it for the first five minutes, she's been cranking away at the Sudoku levels faster than I could ever hope to catch up. Zuma was her "gateway drug" to truly starting to enjoy the Xbox 360 and appreciate the fact that all our music is now ripped to a local server and available in-game.

Now I just need to get her off the system every now and again so I can play some more Saints Row!

My brother's girlfriend was poking fun at us when my brother was playing Mario 64 on my DS for hours (brother is 27, I am 29). So I just put in Kirby and showed her how to play. She played deep into the night until the batteries ran out. Now my brother has to buy her a DS and Kirby for Christmas:)

Stories like these make me wonder if there there is gaming-capable girl out there for me. Oh man it would be sweet to hear someday, "Kels, honey... I just kicked your ass at Starcraft."

She played Myst all the way through, on my stuttering, aging Macintosh. She was half naked with a wine glass nearby most of the time.

God that's hot.

vbl wrote:
She played Myst all the way through, on my stuttering, aging Macintosh. She was half naked with a wine glass nearby most of the time.

God that's hot.

On that note, I have an inquiry: Why was she not fully clothed when playing Myst? Is the reason why I hated the series because I was wearing pants?

Vrikk wrote:
vbl wrote:
She played Myst all the way through, on my stuttering, aging Macintosh. She was half naked with a wine glass nearby most of the time.

God that's hot.

On that note, I have an inquiry: Why was she not fully clothed when playing Myst? Is the reason why I hated the series because I was wearing pants?

I think it's fair to say that removing pants from any activity automatically makes it more fun.

Vrikk wrote:
vbl wrote:
She played Myst all the way through, on my stuttering, aging Macintosh. She was half naked with a wine glass nearby most of the time.

God that's hot.

On that note, I have an inquiry: Why was she not fully clothed when playing Myst? Is the reason why I hated the series because I was wearing pants?

All videogames are improved with the addition of alcohol and the removal of pants.

As a independant expert certified in the court of law, I can concur.

KaterinLHC wrote:

All videogames are improved with the addition of alcohol and the removal of pants.

Truer words were never spoke.

I think we need a thread hijack here since we have all the DSers.

When she asked me "what other games" - what's my best answer, given what little you now know about her as a (non)gamer. What are the best light games for the DS lite or GBA? Not light in terms of intelligence, just in terms of time commitment and user-friendliness.

Amazing Edwin is participating in a conversation about being pantless.

Wonders never cease to amaze.

Fedaykin98 wrote:

Until Friday, when I finally got her to try World of Warcraft. Last night she hit level 10 on her Night Elf Hunter, and gained the ability to train pets. Keep an eye out for her; she's currently running around the Elvish areas of Azeroth, with or without me...accompanied by an owl named Cupcake.

I was just about to suggest this to you... the wife has been seriously gripped by WoW as of late - I think she's nearing the 2 day mark on her rogue. What is it about this game that attracts the non-gaming women?

The DS has also been a pretty big hit, but it's largely the "non-games" (Animal Crossing, etc.) she enjoys.

Believe me, I've been dreaming of this since I started playing WoW. Probably since before that, actually. I'm quite the nefarious master planner when it comes to these things. =)

The only part of this story that is true is the fact that you got a new Nintendo DS Lite. I say NO WIFE could be that cool, understanding, and into your gaming life. Don't get me wrong I love my "wiff" to death but there is no way no matter how much begging or bargining I do she, and any other wife, is not going to be apart of the gaming life style. It just ain't going to happen. It's fantasy. Just like hard core CCG/D&Ders picking up chicks at Gen Con. It just doesn't happen in this realm of existance.

Sorry, Chris. No amount of plugging your ears and chanting "la la la la" is going to cover us up. We're not common, but we do exist.

I am a wife (formerly), and I married a guy in my jr high gaming group. I was the one who bought Wing Commander and Mechwarrior and owned the clattering herds of Battletech miniatures (he played mostly Warhammer and Romance of the Three Kingdoms).

And the tradition continues. Me and my eldest son were both Enforcers at PAX last week. And someone proposed to his girlfriend right there on the stage. She even said "yes". Though I think if my ex had done anything of the sort I would have had his liver on a pole.

And if you want to move her off the DS and onto a console, the best entry drug I've found was Kingdom Hearts. Even my mother plays it.

rabbit wrote:

When she asked me "what other games" - what's my best answer, given what little you now know about her as a (non)gamer. What are the best light games for the DS lite or GBA? Not light in terms of intelligence, just in terms of time commitment and user-friendliness.

Firstly - excellent article. You're quickly becoming one of my favorite reads with your casual style.

As for games, it really depends on the person. Titles like Tetris, Warioware: Touched and Metroid Pinball all have that "transient" play-style that allows for short but satisfying play sessions. I'd highly recommend Nintendogs as well, though it ventures into the digi-pet realm and some folks seem to be very turned off by the idea of care-taking bits. That said, it's utilizes the stylus (and the microphone - often in very clever ways!) heavily and delivers the type of experience the DS was intended for. Really ties into that non-gamer mentality.