2011/12 Soccer Thread - Because Vacations Are For Cowards

And that opens door for Big Sam to go to Real.

Oh God, please let it be true. Or maybe Barca ?

(DT imagines first press conference at the Nou Camp)

"Mr Allardyce, who is this Kevin Davies ?"

"Mr Allardyce, it is rumoured that you strode onto the training ground in your underpants and a batman cape, slapped Lionel Messi on the head and told him to get taller ? It is also rumoured that you have told the team that you will be changing the style to 'Route One'"

"Mr Allardyce, is it true that when one of the coaches talked to you about 'tiki-taka', you punched him in the face and said that you wouldn't be rushed into any unnatural sexual practices ?"

EDIT - poor Sam, passed over again for Pep's assistant, Tito Villanova. Never managed any team, so be interesting to see how he copes with the big time.

Interestingly enough, current odds over here for Pep's next stop have the favourite as Arsenal, at 4/7. Chelsea at 2's, Man U at 6's, City at 8's, Liverpool at 14's.

davet010 wrote:

Which particular one ?

Shreeves. I think the English have the best term for the way he acted that night, 'Twat'.

I mean really? And a lot of people's reactions too (mostly the 'twitter' crowd)... the way he needlessly and repeatedly shat on Ivanovic's parade is to be heralded as 'hard journalism'? I mean for ffs.

And even if it was, it was nice to see Shreeves also go 'hard' against Terry, who actually deserved it. oh wait, he was probably more concerned about not getting punched in the face by the thug than his integrity.

I am all for the 'journalists' pushing some of the often unpushed topics harder, but 'hard journalism' isn't the 'go-to' excuse every time a journalist acts out of line and like a douchebag.

Looks like Big Sam also had his eyes on the Barca job...well, NotBigSam on his twitter page..

"Just sent Tito Villanova a basket of muffins. And an artistic rendition of Big Sam p***ing in his bread bin, while f***ering his missus."

"Nobody steals food off Big Sam's plate. That c**t knows what's coming."

EDIT - In actual West Ham news, they've missed out on auto promotion (Reading and Soton) and are now playing Cardiff in the first round. The Metropolitan police announce they are ready.

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QPR and Blackburn both enhance their relegation credentials with laughable displays. Hughes's complete inability to organise a defence surfaces again as Torres bags a hat trick (leading, laughably, to Guillam Balague tweeting that he told everyone that 'class was permanent' - seriously Guillam, you're beginning to bore me now).

Blackburn decide to turn in a performance so insipid that I had to check they weren't already down. You need points, so you decide to spend 90 minutes without a single attempt on goal. Yeah, that'll do the job, if that job is 'get Steve Kean sacked'.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/footbal...

Roy Hodgson, come on down !!

Great news all round - Hodgson deserves it, and Spurs will now end up never winning anything and being bankrupt when Redknapp leaves, just like every other team the bent get has managed.

davet010 wrote:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/footbal...

Roy Hodgson, come on down !!

Great news all round - Hodgson deserves it, and Spurs will now end up never winning anything and being bankrupt when Redknapp leaves, just like every other team the bent get has managed.

My sentiments exactly.

And well done Agent Bernstein, for stringing Fingers along for the back end of the season.

In reality, I suspect that even though his story about his inability to read and understand that his stowing of £200k worth of bungs in an overseas back account was illegal might have been enough to fool the 12 dimwits who make up the usual British jury, the extra media attention that being England manager brings would uncover a variety of other skeletons which both he and the FA would prefer to remain hidden if they'd appointed him...isn't that right, Venables ?

I want England to win Euro 2012 now, just to piss off Liverpool fans who hate Roy.

Beer - check

Lucky City teddy bear - check.

City shirt - check.

Small child for human sacrifice - nope. Hopefully not crucial.

Nerves - shredded.

Fingernails - still some left, have to have something to chew during game.

Oh gods, let us win this one.

No prob, there you go. That was pretty much what you'd expect from midfield of Carrick, Giggs, Scholes and Park-Ji-Sung, I guess.

Also: People bouncing off Yaya Toure - gets me every time.

No shots on target - first time in 3 years.

Just love the commentator - "all the money of Man City, all the titles of Man Utd". Like all of their players were found kicking a tin can in the back streets of Trafford. I mean, fair does - I know Smalling and the New Duncan Edwards play like they are kicking a tin can, but they did cost an awful lot of money.

Fingers crossed for St James Park now.

EDIT - I may be in the flush of enthusiasm, but Barry > Parker - FACT.

Well ****.

Apparently Mancini was 'badgering' the ref. Well, if anyone can spot it....

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. And I presume that Wayne Rooney's use of the invisible 'ref leash', which ensures he is always within 5 yards of the ref for a good moan, is completely in accordance with Premier League regulations. For the entire 90 minutes.

Ugghg someone shoot me now. pLEAASSEE. D:<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

That midfield was painful to watch.

No shots on goal... ffs.

Without wishing to lump on to Pikey's distress, because City have not won this yet by any means, once I saw that teamsheet, I knew City would be in the driving seat. You can't start a 37 year old, a 38 year old and someone who has barely played for weeks against a midfield with the fast-break potential of City's. And SAF took far to long to change it in the second half, hence at time it looked like the Alamo (only with City playing as the Mexicans, for a change).

SAF went with the players he trusted the most, but they weren't the ones he needed.

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This will be an immensely entertaining final two weeks. That said, as anyone with a brain has noted, it ain't over by a longshot, and the idea of Newcastle or QPR managing to get something out of one of the last two games doesn't strike me as totally far-fetched. This is gonna be one hell of a finish.

davet010 wrote:

Without wishing to lump on to Pikey's distress, because City have not won this yet by any means, once I saw that teamsheet, I knew City would be in the driving seat. You can't start a 37 year old, a 38 year old and someone who has barely played for weeks against a midfield with the fast-break potential of City's. And SAF took far to long to change it in the second half, hence at time it looked like the Alamo (only with City playing as the Mexicans, for a change).

SAF went with the players he trusted the most, but they weren't the ones he needed.

IMAGE(http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/6051/kompanycelebration.gif)

Much prefer you tear us apart like that rather than fixating on articles about pointless/irrelevant sideline drama from the media. You open that door, we would just free-fall into a never-ending and completely pointless pissing contest, there's more than enough ammunition for both of us to drag-out that crap-flinging contest for far too long for the health of this thread.

Anyway, absolutely true on that point. Sadly. That criticism is too often treated as a 'cliche' by the hardcore reds that blindly believe Ferguson will work his magic and that Scholes will poop golden unicorns for eternity while flying around with peter pan, but the reality is as simple as what you just said..

We need a proper f*cking transfer kitty. I feel like our spending TOTALS for each of the the last few summers were barely more than what many of the top-tier teams spend on just one to two key transfers. Fergusons been at this for a while but I feel like we missed our window to spend on bankable young-ins in hopes they develop into a 'Ronaldo' in a few years, at least for this generation. We really need a proper AND mature force in the midfield and we need it now.

Without the power-house force from the Vidic +1 combo to back it up double time in defence, our failings and lack of pace in midfield were really exposed this season. Scholes coming back certainly covered it up a bit, but yea, when we were faced with an arguably proper top-tier team that wasn't an Arsenal in crisis, or the white-bearded Chelsea + Torres, or a Tottenham (not even gonna bother mentioning Liverpool), not so much. Our European campaign is gonna flop again next year with the midfield in its current state.

A red blog I frequent always tries to reiterate how 'underrated' Carrick is. He's not as terrible as everyone says he is, that much is true. But really, he's there because we dont have anyone else better. His 'distributions' and 'high passing rate' mostly consist of passing the ball to someone else or just returning pass so someone else more competent can make a breakthrough. While Scholes has still got it (whether you like it or not), he's not gonna be able to completely control the midfield on his own against a proper team at his age. Anderson is a fat blob of inconsistancy. Cleverly, while super promising, is hardly a complete product yet. Pogba, despite all the mess thrown around over retaining him, I doubt he'll suddenly turn up to be the 'black ginger' next season. That's pretty much ALL we have in the ways of real center midfielders.

Park who is occasionally placed in the midfield position is getting old (a big question mark for this particular game too, given how LITTLE he's played lately). Giggs, who also occasionally plays center midfield, while ever-green and easily above 85 percent of the players in the league that share his position, presents the same problems as Scholes. Valencia/Nani are nice, except the latter is injuiry prone and often a 'swing-and-a-miss' kinda deal. Valencia, while most sturdy/dependable, got dicked over hard last season which didn't help us this season (i am sure he will do us solid next season provided no neanderthals violate him). That + Young, our wings could easily get by with another one of those 'youngin' investment/transfers at least for the next season, but our midfield... really not so much.

On a slightly different note, our defenders have proven to be still a tad bit too green, but once Vidic is back, they'll continue their development into becoming great players for the team, all three of them, Smalling/Jones/Evans. Vidic getting knocked out for the whole season just kinda caught them at a funny place in their development. Evans has been on great form (FOR THE MOST PART), and there's no doubt he has some kinks to work out but he's more or less close to a complete product.

TLDR; MIDFIELD GOD DAMN IT. We have a hole that's a size of at least 25-35 million pounds, and the only thing keeping that hole barely plugged is what little remains of the ever-aging maestro Scholes.

ps. Now I m in a place where I NEVER wanted to be... rooting for the damn Magpies to save OUR season. :*(

Hmm, I seem to remember united spending about £60m last summer (Jones, deGea, Young, from memory), plus Smalling in Jan 11, so it ain't like you ain't be spending any cash. As for reporting off the field antics, SAF is the one using national TV as his pulpit, I just thought it amusing to see how Berto has trounced him in the 'mind games'

Here's hoping we do the business against Newcastle and that Swansea feel like proving summat at OT. Mate of mine is a QPR season ticket holder, and he's coming up on the 13th, would rather it wasn't vital for us.

Another cracking result for Dogleash. How on Earth is he still in a job ? Oh yeah, FA Cup...final is this weekend, as if anyone other than the Scousers and Chelsea fans seem to care nowadays - devalued again by being played while the league is still going.

Missed the derby... Honestly totally forgot and got a ticket to sporting Lisbon v Coimbra instead which was a pleasant surprise. Great atmosphere and the football was decent enough as sporting have some flashy players.

Going to catch one last game this Sunday in either Braga or Porto.

Kudos to City. Besides wagering on them to win the title when they were ahead I honestly rather see them win then united. Thought the guardian podcast kinda missed the mark. They were spot on as to the squad selection and mentality Ferguson went into the game with. Then lumping the reason that the squad is relying on giggs and Schoels is all on the glazers was kinda lazy. Its not helping but as Dave pointed out united has spent. Problem is Ferguson has never been known as a shrewd business man. Now that the strings are tighter then before it really shows. Almost seems he's going the arsenal route of pricey youth signings. Problem is when the squad is already thin you end up exactly where arsenal are. Always developing talent and next year is the year when if anything the team needs a solid injection of ready now talent.

Hopefully that's what Podolski will be

My prediction for Podolski - bottler, just like he was at Bayern, where he demonstrated how mentally weak he is. He's happy when he can bask in the adulation of his home town Koln fans (as they struggle to retain their Bundesliga status), but he crapped out big time in Munich. Arsenal are also being linked with Jan Vertonghen (Ajax), a big striding CB who City have looked at in the past - seems a bit too similar to players they already have, unless they are going to move him into a DM role.

As for Man U, I don't think I've seen any signs that the purse strings are knotted shut. They are still linked with all and sundry (usually 'in competition' with City, no doubt only in the minds of the relevant players agent/existing club), but I think SAF will be encouraged to shift some of the deadwood. There again, City could do with that as well - maybe we can find someone gullible enough to take Crocky Santa Cruz and Adebayor ('Triffic player, but his wages are a problem'). Also be interesting to see what happens with Tevez, and how the club deals with John Guidetti, who's had a very successful loan spell in the Dutch league.

Guess the journalists aren't bitter that their robbing favourite wasn't appointed, no sir.

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England managers usually get one meaningless game grace before the knives are out. They did only spend 80% of the time attempting to ask about Twitcher before Bernstein put an end to it.

Why didn't he just say it like it is ?

"Redknapp is, by his own admission, a semi-literate disorganised moron. His record in international soccer is non-existant. He has won one cup in his career, spent largely at clubs who were in dire straits when he left due to his actions. He has lied, under oath, in court. His first question, if appointed, would be 'What is the transfer budget'."

It really is sad, between 'Arry's media cronies and still-bitter 'Pool fans, Roy's grace period lasted about as long as it took for people to read the FA's announcement that he was the new manager.

That said, hey, there's a Summer "Hol" that is apparently the same price as a travel hairdryer!

Yeah, Sky trotted out that noted intellect Teddy Sheringham, who expressed surprise that 'Arry wasn't approached because of his 'record in the game', and that he was the 'People's favourite'.

If by 'record in the game' you mean winning next to nothing, as opposed to managing national teams and Inter, then yes, Edward, you are right. And by 'people', I presume you mean 'those who find moronic Cockney spivs amusing', then yes again.

All hail Papisse Cisse. Jesus christ.

Hopefully he's got that out of his system, don't want any repeats. Watched Bolton v Spurs, blimey Bolton are crap. Hopefully there's only a couple of weeks left of rent-a-quote Coyle and their tedious chairman.

In other news, Fiorentina make it 30 (THIRTY !!) managerial changes in Serie A this season, sacking their coach after he got into a punch-up with a player he substituted after 30 minutes. Just love the chairman's quote "Tomorrow morning we'll talk calmly". With who ?

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/st...

I think Saturday's a much bigger game than I thought. Like I said, Newcastle can absolutely get three points from that game, the way they're playing.

What a goal. Cissé's first wasn't bad either.

Messi broke Gerd Muller's record with his 68th goal this season. Unbelievable.

Meanwhile, Hala Madrid! Their 32nd La Liga title, I believe.