What Place for Misericord Among Misers?

The most remarkable thing about Capcom's Resident Evil 4, to my mind, is not the game's creepy atmosphere or visceral combat, but rather the circumstances under which I first attempted to purchase it. Normally, I am happy to spend money on the things that I desire, and those who sell such things are, in turn, pleased to take my money. If I understand the rudiments of economic theory, that's the way the process is supposed to work. But the crappy GameStop franchise located in LaPlace, Louisiana, likes to play by different rules. By the time my trip to that GameStop had ended, an unnamed employee stood dumbfounded behind the counter, an elderly woman had regained more than two hundred dollars, and I emerged from the store empty-handed, but nonetheless victorious.

I needed a new game for my 'Cube to keep me occupied through a week of house-sitting, and the LaPlace GameStop had only recently opened its doors for business, so I decided to give it a shot. I stepped inside, happy, at first, to escape the muggy February weather (this was southeast Louisiana, recall). The store's near-complete lack of a PC-game selection made it a simple task to locate the GameCube section. I grabbed a copy of RE4 and headed for the counter, naively expecting the man behind it to accept gladly my $49.99. But first, I had to wait my turn.

There was an old woman in front of me, small, bespectacled, and obviously intimidated at the prospect of purchasing a PlayStation 2 for her grandson's birthday present. The porcine salesman could smell her trepidation even through his own oppressive musk. He didn't bother with trying to convince the woman of all the accessories she should buy; he just stated them as plain fact. "You'll want to buy a used system instead of a new one. We test out all of the used systems to make sure that they work, but we don't test the new ones, so they might be broken. The PS2 uses four controllers, so I'll be sure to add those, along with a Multitap adaptor. You'll need a memory card, and also a second one, for when the first one fills up. Plus, it's always good to have a backup in case the first one breaks. And you'll need the extended warranty, just in case anything goes wrong. Oh, and an RF modulator, so that it'll work with your TV. . ." He included a few more items, too, none of which were essential to this woman's grandson's enjoying his gift.

Eventually he glanced past the old lady and noticed that I was waiting to check out. "While I'm getting all that ready for you, why don't you go pick out a few games? The used section is along that wall, right over there." She shuffled away from the counter and stared confusedly at the plastic patchwork that adorned the length of the store.

I was shocked at the ease with which he'd managed to bamboozle this poor woman out of hundreds of dollars in extraneous accessories. Part of me wanted to speak out against the outrage I had witnessed, but I was suffering from a kind of mental overload that prevented any action. Plus, I reasoned, on what grounds could I mount any objection? Sure, confused elderly seem more prone to relinquish money than paralytic babies do candy, but that doesn't mean old people are as defenseless as babies. I was prepared to pay for my game and abandon this woman to her fate--until, that is, the salesman tried the same underhanded tricks on me.

"Oh, RE4, huh? A shame you can't buy it used; we sold our last copy earlier today. You could have saved two dollars that way."

"Yes, a shame."

"Well, you should definitely buy the strategy guide. You save fifty percent on it when you buy it at the same time as the game."

"No, I don't want one."

"Are you sure? This is a hard game. You basically need a strategy guide in order to beat it."

"I simply don't believe you. I've been playing games my whole life. I think I'll be up to the task."

"That's probably not a good idea. We get lots of phone calls from people complaining that this game is really hard. With the strategy guide, you won't have any problems."

It was when he actually reached for a strategy guide to add to my order that I awoke from my daze. My blood quickened its pace, and I became filled with the yearning to inflict terrible pain upon this rude, belligerent creature with the dark, curly hair. The earth beneath me seemed to flex in anticipation of combat, and my pounding ears enjoyed the primal song of the wrath of Peleus' son.

"I must now weigh in my mind two probabilities, one against the other: that your customers actually call you on the phone, looking for hints to Resident Evil 4; or that you and your masters, out of a misplaced conception of how to run a good business, are desperate to tack whatever accessories you can onto any purchase, even when the customer has already twice declined. Do you sense the depth of my quandary?"

The sarcasm in my voice was lost on him, but he must have comprehended my frustration. I stepped forward, and he stepped back, only then conscious of his miscalculation. I set the game on the counter and turned to leave--when the old woman caught my eye, helplessly examining the covers of used PS2 games, which may as well have been tablets engraved with Linear B, for all she could divine from them.

"Ma'am, I listened to what this man said to you at the counter a minute ago, and I say with authority that he is attempting to cheat you out of hundreds of dollars' worth of things you really don't need to buy."

At this news, her eyes lit up. Until that point, nothing inside that GameStop made any sense to her at all, but she had inhabited this world for a long time, and she knew what to do in the face of a con. And indeed, the con's face told her everything she needed to know when he failed to meet her gaze. She promptly exited the store, leaving the PS2 and its pile of accoutrements on the counter, and I followed in her wake.

I purchased RE4 with no problems whatsoever at the Wal-Mart across the street. How sad, that I must turn to the most generic of supermarkets for an inoffensive shopping experience.

Poor customer-service is more common today than in the past, but it is not limited to games retailers. Any store for which the principle merchandise carries a profit margin thinner than the paper money used to express it, can only survive by nefarious means. Wal-Mart is so nearly omnipotent that it sets its own margins, but most other stores suffer from comparative impotence in this regard, whether they deal in games, electronics, appliances, or other mass-produced goods. An employee at Best Buy once tried to convince me to take out a warranty on a joystick in case the springs should happen to break (which, she insisted, happens all the time). A salesman at EB Games once asked me to pay for a "disc-protection" warranty, in case my CD were to "malfunction" (his word, not mine). Hell, I shopped at a local grocery market last week, and the girl who rang me up asked me if I'd like to add a package of Jello pudding to my purchase for only a dollar more. Foul tendrils of greed extend to every aspect of the modern shopping experience, and to be a conscientious consumer is harder than ever before.

On that wet winter's day in the LaPlace GameStop, I won a slight victory for the forces of light, but I harbor no illusions as to my (or my readers') power to oppose the scourge in force. I nevertheless urge you never to appease any retailer who crosses the line of common courtesy. Do this, not for the sake of the world at large--there is no saving that, I'm afraid--but for yourself. Cultivate virtue within yourself, and do not ever surrender it to any who fail to appreciate its value. They're not worth it, and neither is the shiny new game that they're selling.

Comments

Never have this problem with games and computer stuff, since I buy all my stuff online.

I did have it a few time gasoline tho, there was a small gum stand on the counter, and the cassiere asked me if I wanted some gun with that gasoline. I always politely decline and hope for them to not ask it a second time. Because my no stays no.

It seems there is no answer to the question of where to shop with a clear conscience. I can't go to Wal-Mart because of their bad business practices, yet the experience I have at smaller niche retailers always feels negative. I'm lucky to live in an area again that fosters local business more than many places, but there isn't a total solution.

Excellent article, Lobo, as always.

Well done sir.

My own personal pet peeve is the extended warranty scam. Here in Europe we have fairly strong consumer protection laws and if a product does not work as it might reasonably be expected to then you have legal rights to repair or replacement. Nevertheless sales assistants are incentivised to try and flog grossly overpriced insurance on every product and naturally enough they prey on the weak. A month ago my computer novice brother was literally followed to the till by a pushy salesman trying to convince him to buy extended warranty and a bunch of unnessecary accessories which would have added 30% to the price of the computer he was buying. 20% extra just for extending the warranty from a default 1 year to 3 years?? In three years time he will be able to buy a better computer for the price of that warranty.

And you point out the exact reason I refuse to shop at EB or Gamestop. I hastily neglected my rule when the DS Lite came out and payed for it when actually picking the syetm up. They tried to force at least 4 additional, useless purchases on me. I cannot stand these stores in the slightest, I pray that everyone will finally get up and see exactly what Lobo saw, a series of scams and forced hoax purchases. The really sad part is that its part of the business, its not just an occasional manager trying to push revenue at his store, its in the goddamn training for the entire business.

What a great, heartwarming article.

Lobo:

Brilliant writing. Just great. You turn a phrase like nobodies business. We've all experienced some form of this, and the generation/technology barrier serves to illustrate how horribly wrong it can all be. You've not only entertained and provoked thought with this piece, but brought a little goodness into a cold evil world.

I have in my minds eye a picture of you standing at that counter, speaking to the salesperson I've met a thousand times before, giving your monologue. If I'd been there in line behind you, I would have applauded out loud, and I like to think we would have gone for a coffee in the Walmart food-court and comiserated.

Lobo wrote:

"I must now weigh in my mind two probabilities, one against the other: that your customers actually call you on the phone, looking for hints to Resident Evil 4; or that you and your masters, out of a misplaced conception of how to run a good business, are desperate to tack whatever accessories you can onto any purchase, even when the customer has already twice declined. Do you sense the depth of my quandary?"

...

You need to work on your angry voice.

I think to add to your point on building virtue in yourself so that you simply stop putting up with the bad customer service is to also make sure that you haven't been cultivating a loyalty to any corporate game store. Maybe you didn't mean to and it just kind of happens that you always end up at the same shop but don't let yourself start to think that if you can't get it at gamestore X then you'll just have to wait, and especially don't think that you have to walk on eggshells to make sure they don't hate you at your favorite spot. We are gamers. For a sect of people that is so misunderstood by society our wares are sold at an impressive number of retailers.

I'm just going to name the ones around me: Gamestop, Wal-Mart, Bestbuy, Target, Sears, KBToys, Sam Goody, Blockbuster, Hollywood video, Toys R Us, Radio Shack, EB Games, and I'm sure I'm missing a couple.

The point is that with that much competition in such a compact area the exclusively gaming retailers should be in permanent ass kiss mode. If I don't like the way that cashier looks I can go to eleven different places within half an hour to get what I need. It's either stupidity or pure genius on someone's part that the game stores have decided to deal with this problem by taking the exact opposite stance. Now they have become some sort of elitist status symbol for the saddest of the hardcore gamers, the ones that have nothing else in their lives. The Gamestop zombies, you know what I'm talking about. The guys that look like they are always in a Monty Python sketch with their loud vague declarative sentences and their fake laughing and constant talking on cell phones with no batteries. Anyway, that's another rant. The result is that when said grandma goes into said game store she feels like she is walking into hallowed/forbidden territory. Here there be tigers and she better just do what she's told lest she be cast out, or worse.

The industry decided to cultivate their swindling of the ignorant over customer satisfaction and we have only ourselves to blame for the continuation of the trend.

Staats wrote:
Lobo wrote:

"I must now weigh in my mind two probabilities, one against the other: that your customers actually call you on the phone, looking for hints to Resident Evil 4; or that you and your masters, out of a misplaced conception of how to run a good business, are desperate to tack whatever accessories you can onto any purchase, even when the customer has already twice declined. Do you sense the depth of my quandary?"

...

You need to work on your angry voice.

Thing is, knowing Lobo, he probably said those exact words.

Nicely done, Lobo, both in writing and in your experience. You did the right thing by telling that old woman she was being ripped off, as you well know. My experience in Gamestops and EBs hasn't been quite so obnoxious, but it does happen. Once, I was standing in line and a customer tried to get me to buy a strategy guide (thinking back on it, probably 'cause I was in high heels and a low cut shirt). That was very, very weird.

So what happened with the grandmother?

We test out all of the used systems to make sure that they work, but we don't test the new ones, so they might be broken.

No way, you made that up for the article. That statement is priceless.

I havent been to the local EB since they attempted to sneak the $2 per title used game guarantee into a purchase without informing me. When they first announced my total, there was a confused moment as my brain tried to rationalize how the tax came to so much or how my math couldve been so 'off'.... But within a moment, realization set in and I realized it was the EBGAMES satisfaction tax. Just like in the article above, adrenaline fired up, bloodflow rushed along channels in a natural fight or flight response and pulsed at my temples like an infusion of arcane mana. Instead of blasting them into molecules, I just put on my stern face and attacked "So you are charging me for something I didnt request or even know you were adding to the order. That's illegal isnt it?" which was enough to diffuse the situation. A few key presses and a hurried apology later, I walked out of the store with my three black plastic cases in hand.

Though I did feel a bit 'dirty' for having gone through with the purchase at all. (The needs of THE COLLECTION won out over my judgement I suppose)

Wonderful story. It's always good to stand up for what's right.

Any store for which the principle merchandise carries a profit margin thinner than the paper money used to express it, can only survive by nefarious means. Wal-Mart is so nearly omnipotent that it sets its own margins, but most other stores suffer from comparative impotence in this regard, whether they deal in games, electronics, appliances, or other mass-produced goods.

This is not an excuse, but a wonderfully concise example of why these actions are taking place. My own thoughts on this matter are voluminous and bloated, but this is an excellent anecdotal example of exactly how these stores and their associates are _trained_ to interact with customers. You all, as consumers, see this example as a tragedy and offensive, but I guran-f*****g-tee that if his boss, or his bosses boss, got ahold of this article he would march down to that store, slap that associate on the back, and tell him to keep up the outstanding work. Why? Because I have personally seen (and, in my own dark admission, been congratulated on) receiving a customer complaint when that complaint was that we tried to hard and walked too close to the line on selling the only crap in the store that turns a profit. This is the way EB/Gamestop works on a broad level, and if you are fortunate enough to find a location that treats you with respect enjoy it while you can, they are an increasingly rare sight.

It's been a year later and I still can't wash the stain of those disc-protection gurantees from my hands.

Lobo, we're going to go back to that store, you and I. The tar is just now bubbling on the stove. I'll be there shortly. You bring the feathers.

CannibalCrowley wrote:

So what happened with the grandmother?

Dude, read between the lines. They totally hooked up.

My boss at Blockbuster did this to a customer, he sold her a membership card even though she said "No." When I became a shift-lead, I had to specifically instruct the people I was working with NOT to lie to sell any of the crap the upper-level managers want us to push. Customer complaints have no weight down here, everyone is too desperate for employees. Half of the people I work with have trouble alphabetizing things.

I'm still a little unsure as to the use of misericord here, but I thank you for a small expansion of my vocabulary.

American Heritage DIctionary wrote:

Word History: A dagger, a support for someone who is standing, and a special monastic apartment share the same name because, oddly enough, they are all examples of mercy. The word misericord goes back to Latin misericordia, "mercy," derived from misericors, "merciful," which is in turn derived from miserr, "to pity," and cor, "heart." In Medieval Latin the word misericordia denoted various merciful things, and these senses were borrowed into English. Misericordia referred to an apartment in a monastery where certain relaxations of the monastic rule were allowed, especially those involving food and drink. The word also designated a projection on the underside of a hinged seat in a choir stall against which a standing person could lean, no doubt a merciful thing during long services. Finally, misericordia was used for a dagger with which the death stroke was administered to a seriously wounded knight.

Lobo, with authority!

Another good article.

croaker wrote:

I'm still a little unsure as to the use of misericord here, but I thank you for a small expansion of my vocabulary.

I used it as a synonym for "compassion, pity, mercy," as per the OED. I learned the word from my Latin studies (in Latin, it's misericordia), but I wasn't aware of its colorful history. So you've managed to teach me something in return.

souldaddy wrote:
We test out all of the used systems to make sure that they work, but we don't test the new ones, so they might be broken.

No way, you made that up for the article. That statement is priceless.

It's really true. That guy was on a roll. It's as though once he realized what he could get away with, he just kept piling more and more things onto her purchase--always used merchandise, if possible--and making ever more silly claims to justify it all. I had encountered plenty of questionable activity at game stores in the past, but he really left me flabbergasted. And Elysium's right, I bet he was the store's most productive salesman.

Foul tendrils of greed

This is simply beyond brilliant. Pure Pulitzer right there!

The earth beneath me seemed to flex in anticipation of combat, and my pounding ears enjoyed the primal song of the wrath of Peleus' son.

Yoink! I don't know what he's saying, but I love the way he says it.

The first paragraph led me to believe this was going to be a piece about how Lobo stepped up a thwarted an armed robbery.

Danjo Olivaw wrote:

The first paragraph led me to believe this was going to be a piece about how Lobo stepped up a thwarted an armed robbery.

Close, it was an unarmed robbery.

Excellent!

Certis wrote:
The earth beneath me seemed to flex in anticipation of combat, and my pounding ears enjoyed the primal song of the wrath of Peleus' son.

Yoink! I don't know what he's saying, but I love the way he says it.

That's Certis' way of saying he stares at your lips when you talk, Lobo.

Great article not only because it was well written but because of what you did for that poor lady. There have been a few times where I have walked into a local video games store and seen people like that old lady looking confused and lost and did nothing to help. I would like to think the next time I happen upon a situation like this I will step up and help them out.

Brilliant.

Great Read and good for you! Unfortunately I have the same problem with the EB by my house.

I also had a similar experience with my dad at CompUSA. He wanted me to come there with him to get an iMac for my mothers Birthday. When we were being checked out the following conversation occurred.

Clerk: Sir, You have to get an extended warranty for this computer.

::my dad looks at me and I shake my head no::

Clerk: Sir, I really think you do need to get a warranty, iMacs are imppossible to fix is anything breaks.

Dad: Im sure I'll be fine without it my son is good with computers.

Clerk: I don't think that your son would be able to fix this computer.

Me: I have repaired several iMacs at my job, I'll be fine.

::At that moment the clerks face turned red::

Clerk: Im sure......

My dad would have walked away if it had he not waited to the last minute to go out and actually buy the computer. I have never seen someone get so angry over a customer not buy the extended warrenty before.

souldaddy wrote:
We test out all of the used systems to make sure that they work, but we don't test the new ones, so they might be broken.

No way, you made that up for the article. That statement is priceless.

I second that.

Certis wrote:
The earth beneath me seemed to flex in anticipation of combat, and my pounding ears enjoyed the primal song of the wrath of Peleus' son.

Yoink! I don't know what he's saying, but I love the way he says it.

Trying to impress everyone with his big vocabulary is Lobo's 'Achilles Heel'

I don't think I could ever work at a place where they try and exploit that much. But this is what happens when companies make hte main sales tracking on items people would never buy in their right minds. What better way to tell if someone is a good salesman than if they sell worthless, expensive crap customers don't want?