NFL 2011 Week 16

'Twas the week leading up to Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, except for two long-running streaks coming to an end and a few teams given up for dead climbing back into it.

Jaguars 14 - Falcons 41: Yeah, great work Atlanta. Think you can do the same in the post season?

Cowboys 31 - Buccaneers 15: All Brad Nessler and Mike Mayock want for Christmas is one competitive game to cover.

Dolphins 30 - Bills 23: I hereby call any slump in performance following signing a major contract getting Fitzpatricked. Who's with me?

Spoilhawks 38 - Bears 14: Call me crazy, but I think the NFC West may be on the verge of shedding the NFC Worst title.

Titans 13 - Colts 27: I'm tempted to post a picture of Jim Caldwell's reaction to winning, but you'd probably accuse me of taking a picture from one of the other games this season.

Packers 13 - Chiefs 19: I'm picturing Kyle Orton saying to Aaron Rodgers, "And I'm a robot."

Bengals 20 - Rams 13: The bulk of the broadcasters yesterday called St. Louis one of the worst cursed teams in the NFL in recent years and they're probably right.

Saints 42 - Vikings 20: I wonder how many New Orleans fans were shouting "Shhhhhhhhhh!" to their TVs every time someone mentioned how close Drew Brees is to breaking Dan Marino's single season passing record.

Redskins 23 - Giants 10: Orakpoed is indeed another word for sack.

Panthers 28 - Texans 13: Well...you got the playoff spot, Houston, at least.

Lions 28 - Raiders 27: It felt creepy watching Ndamukang Suh kissing up to the refs. I half expected him to start giving out presents to the zebras.

Patriots 41 - Tebows 23: Vindication for the narcoleptic Steven A. Smith?

Jets 19 - Eagles 45: SANDVICH!

IMAGE(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/281072/Photos/andy-reid-heavy-sandvich.jpg)

Browns 17 - Cardinals 20: Wish I had a picture or Youtube video to stick here. Anything, really.

Ravens 14 - Chargers 34: San Diego in December: you can set your watches to them.

Steelers 3 - 49ers 20: By my count, that's the second statement win by San Francisco that required overcoming a pesky transformer.

Week 16 Pick 'Em: Well, that certainly wasn't pretty...

My record: 1-4

Your records:

MilkmanDanimal: 4-1
boogle: 4-1
Minase: 4-1

iaintgotnopants: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2+

TempestBlayze: 2-3
garion333: 2-3
Gumbie: 2-3*
bighoppa: 2-3
Enix: 2-3
TheGameguru: 2-3
*Legion*: 2-3
LeapingGnome: 2-3

oldmanscene24: 1-4
Elliottx: 1-4
Kush15: 1-4
Nightmare: 1-4

Xeknos: 0-5

* = Gumbie, you posted your picks twice and by default I went with the first which worked out well for you since you would have been 1-4 with the second batch.

+ = Props to Jayhawker for homering up and picking the Chiefs over the Packers.

Have a look at the damage report:

My record: 51-24

Your guys' record:

boogle: 57-18

Nightmare: 54-21
Minase: 54-21

TheGameguru: 52-23

garion333: 50-25
MilkmanDanimal: 50-25

iaintgotnopants: 47-28

oldmanscene24: 48-27
Gumbie: 48-27
bighoppa: 48-27

Xeknos: 46-29
LeapingGnome: 46-29

Kush15: 45-30
Enix: 45-30
Jayhawker: 45-30

*Legion*: 40-35

Elliotx: 38-36

Can boogle be caught? Let's see what we got cooking for this week:

Cardinals at Bengals: The NFC West has been looking better as the season has unfolded with exception to St. Louis while Cinncinati is definitely building to a brighter future. Definitely go with the home team on a short week. Bengals.

Giants at Jets: Uh...okay, the home team thing here is a little complicated. Team on a hot streak? Er...no. Headscratcher, but...Giants. Jets. Giants. Jets. Um...Giants?

Eagles at Cowboys: Tough still, but...I think Philly's pressing and they're pressing well. Eagles.

Falcons at Saints: Remember when I asked if Atlanta can do what they did on Thursday night in the playoffs? That was against the Jags, remember. Saints.

For my wild card, I'm taking the Steelers over the Rams.

Enjoy the holiday week, folks.

Cardinals at Bengals: The Bengals are really good at beating not-particularly-good teams. So, Bengals.

Giants at Jets: The Giants couldn't be more erratic, could they? Isn't this their week to be good? I should probably double-check.

Eagles at Cowboys: Wait, maybe it's the Eagles that are more erratic. I think it's their week to suck.

Falcons at Saints: In a perfect world, the Superdome would just catch on fire and be done with it.

Wildcard: Buccaneers at Panthers: Right now, if Tampa played Indianapolis, the Colts would win. The Bucs are the worst team in the entire league right now. At least I've accepted that fact.

Well, picking the AFC North to travel to the west coast for night games might've been a bad idea.

In my defense, that Denver pick looked like it was going to pan out...

And then the 2nd quarter happened.

Cardinals at Bengals

Giants at Jets

Eagles at Cowboys

Falcons at Saints

Wildcard: Broncos at Bills

Cardinals at Bengals

Giants at Jets: This has been an exhausting year as a Giant fan. I really never know which Giant team is going to show up. The defense is being picked appart and Eli always has to be on top of his game to keep pace. If JPP continues to be awesome and the receivers actually catch a ball, I have to pick the Giants. It's going to be a fun weekend in NYC.

Eagles at Cowboys: I hate the Eagles, but I hate the Cowboys. I have to hope the Cowboys lose to the Eagles though.

Falcons at Saints: Drew all the way through

Wild Card: San Diego at Detroit

Transformer.

Saturday games this week. Should be fun.

Stop putting all this pressure on me!

Seriously... stop putting the Eagles up there... gah!

Bengals
Giants
Eagles
Saints

Seahawks over Niners

Bungles
Giants
Eagles
Saints
Baltimore over Cleveland

Cardinals at Bengals

Giants at Jets

Eagles at Cowboys

Falcons at Saints

Wild Card: Chargers at Lions - Lose you stupid Lions, lose.

Man, so the Texans drop one to Carolina when they could have been setting themselves up for the top seed.

Let's just hope that the newly competent Colts have a hangover game or something.

Cardinals at Bengals

Giants at Jets

Eagles at Cowboys

Falcons at Saints

Wildcard: Packers over the hapless Bears.

Fedaykin98 wrote:

Man, so the Texans drop one to Carolina when they could have been setting themselves up for the top seed.

Let's just hope that the newly competent Colts have a hangover game or something.

Listen, we have to talk.

The Colts have only two more chances to win their way out of the Andrew Luck slot. They play your team, and then mine.

Do you want the perpetually-irrelevant Indianapolis Colts to come back? Or do you want them to land another franchise QB and torment us for another decade?

Maybe Luck isn't the next Manning, but are those odds you really want to play?

Look, you guys made the playoffs. Yay, the drought is over! But let's be real. You guys are probably one-and-done this year. Don't get me wrong, we're all friends here, and you're building a good team, but it's not a team that's going to roll through the postseason yet, especially with your starting QB out and your stud receiver gimpy.

This division could be very good to us. You're set up to be the class of the division for the near future. And us, well, we just got bankrolled. No more nickel-and-dime player payrolls for us. This could be good!

But you gotta work with us here. We need you to roll over on this one. In the 5th, err, 4th quarter, your ass goes down. Say it.

*Legion* wrote:
Fedaykin98 wrote:

Man, so the Texans drop one to Carolina when they could have been setting themselves up for the top seed.

Let's just hope that the newly competent Colts have a hangover game or something.

Listen, we have to talk.

The Colts have only two more chances to win their way out of the Andrew Luck slot. They play your team, and then mine.

Do you want the perpetually-irrelevant Indianapolis Colts to come back? Or do you want them to land another franchise QB and torment us for another decade?

Maybe Luck isn't the next Manning, but are those odds you really want to play?

Look, you guys made the playoffs. Yay, the drought is over! But let's be real. You guys are probably one-and-done this year. Don't get me wrong, we're all friends here, and you're building a good team, but it's not a team that's going to roll through the postseason yet, especially with your starting QB out and your stud receiver gimpy.

This division could be very good to us. You're set up to be the class of the division for the near future. And us, well, we just got bankrolled. No more nickel-and-dime player payrolls for us. This could be good!

But you gotta work with us here. We need you to roll over on this one. In the 5th, err, 4th quarter, your ass goes down. Say it.

If only we could get the players to agree to that plan.

Maybe we could talk Yates into throwing some more INTs?

Will Pittsburgh play Rapistburger or sit him for St. Lou?

Paleocon wrote:

Will Pittsburgh play Rapistburger or sit him for St. Lou?

Signs are pointing to sitting, but it's the NFL ... one never knows.

Stow it, Legion. This train stops for no man!

Fedaykin98 wrote:

Stow it, Legion. This train stops for no man!

I'll remember this quote when Andrew Luck passes 5 TDs a game on Texas for the next 10 years.

Let's just not talk about last week, shall we?

Cardinals at Bengals: The Ben-gals are puzzling. The Cards are not, they are bad. So they lose.

Giants at Jets: The Jets want a playoff berth. Also, see below.

Eagles at Cowboys: See, my theory is that, after all the hype about Cowboys-Giants in week 17, the universe will not allow it to mean anything at all. Plus, it turns out I like making Andy Reid-Heavy Photoshops, which has nothing to do with anything, so have another.

IMAGE(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/281072/Photos/heavy-spies.jpg)

Falcons at Saints: On paper, this should be a close game. Too bad for the Falcons games are played on football fields.

Wildcard - Browns at Ravens: The Browns stink. The Ravens are playing for a good seed.

Bengals
Jets
Eagles
Falcons

Wildcard: Chiefs over the Raiders

Bengals
Jets
Cowboys
Saints

Wildcard: Texans over Colts.

Cardinals at Bengals

Giants at Jets

Eagles at Cowboys

Falcons at Saints

Wildcard: Buccaneers at Panthers

Bengals
Giants
Cowboys
Saints

Wild Card: Ravens over Browns

Gumbie wrote:
Fedaykin98 wrote:

Stow it, Legion. This train stops for no man!

I'll remember this quote when Andrew Luck passes 5 TDs a game on Texas for the next 10 years.

Luck doesn't have that much college eligibility left.

Cardinals at Bengals

Giants at Jets

Eagles at Cowboys

Falcons at Saints

Wild card: Bucs at Panthers ... This game might be unwatchable because (a) TB stinks and (b) Fox assigned Chad Pennington to do color for this game. Might be time to find an actual radio.

Enix wrote:

Wild card: Bucs at Panthers ... This game might be unwatchable because (a) TB stinks and (b) Fox assigned Chad Pennington to do color for this game. Might be time to find an actual radio.

It's ok he'll probably blow his shoulder out in the booth and get replaced.

Bengals
J E T S
Eagles
Saints
Packers Let me down last week!! JERKS!!!

I'm going with the ridiculous theory.. that in the end the forces will align and the Eagles will make the playoffs at 8-8 which means the Giants must lose this week.. and then playing for nothing beat the Cowboys next week.

TheGameguru wrote:

Bengals
J E T S
Eagles
Saints
Packers Let me down last week!! JERKS!!!

I'm going with the ridiculous theory.. that in the end the forces will align and the Eagles will make the playoffs at 8-8 which means the Giants must lose this week.. and then playing for nothing beat the Cowboys next week.

That's how the Giants roll, and I would normally say that's how it's going to happen, but the Giants will get up for the Jets, since they are a "good opponent", and play to the level of their opponent's record. If the Giants were going to play someone like say, the Vikings, they would be in deep trouble. Giants will win their next two games, and take a dump in the 1st round of the playoffs to either the Falcons or the Lions.

Fedaykin98 wrote:
Gumbie wrote:
Fedaykin98 wrote:

Stow it, Legion. This train stops for no man!

I'll remember this quote when Andrew Luck passes 5 TDs a game on Texas for the next 10 years.

Luck doesn't have that much college eligibility left.

Texans, smart ass.

Hey, important distinction. Love one, hate the other.

And let's go, Texans! 14 minutes to gametime!