Because I'm brave (read: brave on the internet, sometimes), I realised that an article solely cursing Dark Souls for a lack of a developed narrative when I've yet to see that entire narrative would feel somewhat false. And slightly cruel, as this is a retrospective, and they're so often filled with nostalgia and toothy grins. So I decided to tag-team it with a topic I'm sure will have the game’s fans foaming at the mouth.

I'd like to tell you how I would fix Dark Souls.

No, seriously. I'm tired of trying to analyse it in a way that allows me to delve into it at a deep level when playing it feels like work — despite the promise of small tidbits of story and character development hidden behind kilometres of hostile entities and environments with little reward save bragging rights. This game is broken, not because it's low in quality, or because there's something mechanically wrong with it, but because it's not really quite sure what it is. So how would I go about finding it, you ask?

I slam the book shut as a fresh string of expletives issues from my mouth. From behind her magazine, my wife sighs. I know exactly what she's about to do. She's going to invoke the famous line Grandma Carmella deploys every time the family suffers through another heartbreaking Buffalo Bills loss, after the three-plus hours of alternating cheering and cursing that inevitably culminates in a dejected march to the kitchen for a consolation beer. "Well," she intones, not looking up, "was it worth it?"

She's joking about my latest failed run in Dark Souls, that dominatrix of a game that keeps whipping your rear end into submission until you're begging for more. But she could just as easily be referring to the strategy guide I've just tossed to the carpet. For the first "official game guide" I've bought since I was a kid, it's a nice one. It's a hefty 385 pages, hardbound, with page after page of full-color screenshots. Reams of statistics paint enemies, weapons, items, and spells in minute detail, while the walkthrough sections provide level maps and combat tips. I wish the index were a little more comprehensive — man, is there ever a ton of crap in this game! — but it's well written, with an appropriately sympathetic tone. "Chances are we died more times in this game than in all the other games of 2011 put together," the introduction says. "We died so that you don't have to. But you're still going to die."

Yes, I am. And I knew that before I bought the book. In fact, that's one reason I didn't feel silly for buying it, given, you know, the Internet. I knew that mastering Dark Souls was going to be about more than simply following directions. Its world is almost impenetrably complex, its systems highly dependent on strategy and execution. Sure, you might know a skeleton knight is around the next corner, but you still have to defeat him. Knowledge alone doesn't necessarily equal power.

But I also bought the Dark Souls guide because I wanted a physical artifact to accompany the game, a tangible object to help me connect with its arcane world. This wasn't just nostalgia for the "feelies" of old, the cloth maps and decoder books that were packaged with game disks. I was curious, not having used a physical strategy guide in decades, how my play experience would feel. What I've discovered, so far, is that what I suspected all along is true: I get just as much enjoyment out of poring over the guide as I do out of the game itself.

The late fall of 2000 found me at a gas station in rural Missouri. Out of the convenience store toddled an elderly man in flannel and suspenders on the arm of a young blonde woman. She was speaking gently to him, taking him gingerly through the gravel lot towards a red Dodge pickup. I caught him out of the corner of my eye as he pulled against her arm and guided her instead towards the back of my fraternity brother’s Audi where I was sitting. As he came closer he extended his hand through the window. Shocked, I raised my own and he shook it, more firmly than I expected.

I've never been one to stretch out holidays, with the possible exception of a forgotten decorative candle tucked behind a lamp. I've already taken exception to a few conversations and TV ads that presume that holiday gift shopping should have begun by now. But that doesn't mean that Goodjers aren't already in the giving spirit.

I know a handful of Goodjers already participated in Extra Life earlier this month. Still others are gearing up for Movember next month. Momgamer reports that she's "up to her overloaded safeties" in Child's Play activities, and McChuck and I are about ready for our own Chicago Loot Drop's second annual fundraiser to benefit Child's Play, this time featuring minibosses on top of the Rock Band 3 competition.

And that's just the beginning. GWJ is full of wonderfully charitable people, and I can't get hear enough about it. It warms me up when the wind blows cold.

I'm awfully proud of the community we have here at GWJ treats each other, but the fact that we also go out of our way to help others really overclocks my love for you folks. So I'm opening the floor here today to spread the love. Are you active in a charity, or do you know someone on GWJ who is? Spread the word and brag about your friends!

Final numbers are in via press release from this year's GenCon in Indianapolis. True, their website remains a blight upon the gaming industry, but that’s okay because the tactile nature of board, miniature, and roleplaying games means that all the fun was meant to be had on site.

Interesting numbers this year. The Indiana Convention Center’s massive expansion meant more vendors than ever, and more attendees than ever. GenCon turnstile attendance was 119,707 with 36,703 unique attendees. That’s a 20% spike from last year! We thought that the floor seemed bigger but perhaps a little claustrophobic and maybe that’s why. Also, we lamented the lack of floor space dedicated to game demos on the vendor floor. Our speculations may have proved right, in that there was a 26% spike in the purchase of event tickets to 250,000. However, whether or not free demos were offloaded to for-pay tables is speculative at best.

Next year is GenCon’s 45th anniversary and we’re curious what kind of special events will mark it. The dates fall a little later in the calendar, so if regular obligations in early August have kept you away perhaps we’ll see you fellow GWJrs there from August 16-19 in 2012.

Here’s a run-down of some games we didn’t have a chance to mention on the podcast, and important details that we glossed over after we were done tipping a few.

I’ve never been known for my sunny disposition. Like many writers, I’m content to twirl my misery around my finger like a gold pocketwatch, irritating passersby with the glare. The notion of me cultivating a positive outlook is like the image of Donald Trump in the Oval Office: incredibly unlikely, mostly laughable — but maybe, just maybe, eerily, terrifyingly plausible.

And strangely enough, I’ve been finding myself looking on the bright side a lot more when it comes to gaming these days.

A line in one of Elysium’s articles, I think, is what inspired this newfound cheer. “I must admit,” he wrote, “there have been a number of times recently where I’ve thought, ‘Man, gamers sure do hate video games.’" It's baffling that gamers pounce with gleeful abandon on any slightest perceived offense from "the industry." As Sean implied, it's as if people think multinational corporations like Sony and Nintendo have entire business divisions explicitly devoted to intentionally pissing off consumers.

We’re all guilty of cynicism at times, and often that cynicism is well-earned. Witness the recent PSN debacle. But gaming, like politics, can easily devolve into a study in extremes. The fringe cases and blowhards get the column inches, and the success stories either get relegated to the back pages or drowned in hyperbole. The result is a picture of the medium that skews far too heavily toward the edges, especially the negative.

The thing is — and I know some of you may consider this heresy — there may have never been a better time than right now to be a gamer. The current gaming landscape is more varied, affordable, and accessible than ever before. As coach Marv Levy of my beloved Buffalo Bills used to say back in the glory days, “Where else would you rather be than right here, right now?”

Here are just some of the reasons I’d argue gamers are better off in 2011 than ever before.

Delirious with jet lag and a few pints each, we stumble into the Trocadero in Piccadilly Circus. It’s 9:30 PM London time and some ungodly hour of the morning Boston time. Tomorrow I’ll be glad I didn’t crash after our overnight flight, but at the moment I’m doubting the wisdom of staying awake for the last thirty-plus hours.

The main concourse assaults us with four floors of flashing lights and jangling bells. A bluish haze settles over everything as our eyes adjust. This is Funland, the arcade that serves as the incongruous last stop on an impromptu walking tour that earlier today (yesterday?) took us to Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, and Leicester Square.

The place is massive, an airplane hangar’s worth of arcade machines, pool tables, and bumper cars. It’s eerily empty in here, but then again, it is only a Monday (Sunday?) night. BOWLING, proclaims a giant neon sign on one wall; a poster on another advertises something called 5D WORLD. “So if the fourth dimension is time,” my wife wonders, “what’s the fifth?” I haven’t had nearly enough sleep to consider that question. A shrug is the best I can muster. Day One and this vacation already has a touch of the surreal.

Good Old Games announced today that they have reached a deal with Electronic Arts to add over 25 titles from their collection of old PC games. Games like Crusader: No remorse, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri and Magic Carpet will be coming soon! If you were any kind of PC gamer back in the day, the very thought of getting Crusader running on Windows 7 is nearly orgasmic.

The get things going, they've released Wing Commander: Privateer, Dungeon Keeper and Ultima Underworld 1+2. Dungeon Keeper in particular holds a near and dear place in my heart -- if only because it was one of the first games to convince my girlfriend (now wife) that games are cool. There also hasn't been many games like it since and none of them ever quite reached the same quirky heights of the original.

If you plan on getting any of these games (or any GoG games in general) use this link and support GWJ in the process. That includes buying the sweet, sweet Witcher 2.

As it turned out, I did die. Seventeen times.

But as old Grandpappy Grant used to say, “the eighteenth time’s the charm.” And so, after enduring thirty-four rounds of bone-shattering, face-pulping defeat, I finally vanquished Shao Kahn’s evil once and for all. Miraculously, both my controller and my sanity were intact. But it was close for a while there, on both counts.

It’s not much of a spoiler to reveal that Shao Kahn—or, as my wife likes to call him, “Muscles Cowskull”—is the final boss in the Story mode of the new Mortal Kombat. Aside from Mortal Kombat 4, he’s had at least a cameo in every major MK release since Mortal Kombat II in 1993. As a character, he’s fairly central to whatever shreds of continuity and coherence remain in the series’ canon. As a final boss, he’s been a famously imposing figure since he first delivered the taunt “You will die, mortal!”, complete with condescending finger-point, in MKII. His intimidating status was cemented in MK3, where he was notoriously difficult to beat, armed with several overpowered special moves that felt like cheap exploits to inflate the difficulty level.

I regret to report the reboot hasn’t corrected that flaw. And this particular boss battle highlights exactly what’s wrong with most boss battles.

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.” — Frank Zappa

My favorite blog lately? Why Was I Banned?, a hilarious compilation of screengrabs from the “Account Suspensions and Bans” forum at Xbox.com. It’s a concept ripe for Tumblrization: Cull the official forums for the most pathetic complaints by the most egregious offenders, and cheer as Xbox moderators bring down that banhammer once again. The site is a refreshingly transparent look at people getting justly rebuked for their bad behavior. And after my experiences in random matches, it's entirely welcome.

Here's the thing: The game that put me off playing with pubbies on Xbox Live wasn’t GTA IV, Modern Warfare 2 or Halo: Reach. It wasn’t an M-rated military shooter or an open-world crime drama. It was Ghostbusters: The Video Game.

One multiplayer mode in Ghostbusters has you and three fellow ‘Busters working together to trap ghosts for fun and profit. Ghosts of various types will spawn around the map, and your team earns cash and experience points for each successful capture. Figuring coordinating with my teammates would be polite, I busted out my little-used headset.

I wish I hadn’t. (Be warned: Bigoted and graphic language ahead.)