Your application to play Arkham Asylum has been approved!
Two and a half days and one manilla folder with a stack of paperwork in it later, I am now permitted to play Arkham Asylum. The filing fee was $50.00.
Day 1
The adventure began when I got the DVD application from the legal firm Best & Buy. Upon encoding the image and mounting it, I reached my first new applicant hurdle. The legal firm representing Arkham Asylum, SecuRom Inc., objected with the "Error 9000" clause that I did not have the actual disk in the drive, merely a representative of the disk.
Not wanting to fire shots too early in the negoatiations, I relented and installed with the physical DVD inserted. After completion, SecuRom objected with the devious "Error 2000", and refused to provide any additional insight into their claim. When pressed for details on the objection, they were eventually forced to tell me "0x0000002".
Contacting SecuRom directly, their automated web presence directed me to install a diagnostic tool and execute it. The results of which were "There were no results for your problem, please send the log file to support@secrurom.com".
Within a mere 24 hours they replied back with "reply to this e-mail once again only after you repeat the web site diganostic procedures, when you reply to this e-mail we will then reply." Not wanting to seem like a rube, I did as I was told.
While my neogtiations with SecuRom were ongoing, I also e-mailed the publisher, EIDOS. But, it was a trap. This e-mail bounced as they had craftily changed it at some point after creating the README addendum. I called their voice line and was once again headed off as the phone rang one time and went to a voice mail where I could leave a number. Every man likes a sexy Indian voice so I left my home phone number, problem claim and physical characteristics.
The first day ended and I felt confident I would be approved as long as I kept up the good fight. No replies came from SecurRom or EIDOS in the night.
Day 2
Most of day two was spent re-installing and changing pieces of software as directed by the deranged internet ramblings of various past SecuRom victims. The prevailing opinion was that the correct procedure was to purchase the DVD application, then download a crack which coverted the $50.00 application into a free one rendering it usable. While I understood the logic of this, I perservered in my fight to pay for a game.
Day "And a Half"
As no relief came from SecurRom, EIDOS, or home remedies I elected to terminate my operating system as a going concern. Installing a new operating system, restoring my data, manually installing DotNet, Visual C Redistributable, PhysX, then loading the DVD, then applying the offical patch squelched SecuRom's "Error 2000" claim and I was moving forward! To celebrate I...did nothing because time was an issue.
Upon launching the game itself, EIDOS held up its end of the bargain and showed me a picture of Batman for few minutes. I confirmed mentally this was indeed the guy I was applying to play. When Batman disappeared, all the participants came to the table and showed me their logos accompanied by various whooshing noices. Excitedly clicking the play button when it appeared produced a swift objection from a new party, Microsoft. They objected that I could not play as the Batman without a Microsoft Live ID.
Having come this far, I was no stranger to filling out forms. However, Microsoft informed me they were unable to create new hotmail accounts at this time. I elected to use my home e-mail and Microsoft objected that I had already used it at some point in the past. Suggesting they reset my password, they agreed to send me an e-mail from which I could do so. I never received their communication, despite trying many times. I did receive an e-mail for some salve that was un-related to the current negotation. They further provided no means of contacting them.
Undeterred I created a brand new hotmail account a few hours later when that functionality returned and returned to the game. At this point the game did crash for unknown reasons. Thankfully when it was re-launched EIDOS again showed me a stationary Batman. Proceeding beyond the stationary Batman I logged in with my new Microsoft Live credentials and was rebutted once again when Microsoft said, "Oh yeah we forgot, you need more than that." I needed to create a gamertag from those credentials. Once I did so, and after re-starting my application once again, I could proceed.
Fortune smiled upon me, as ImpossibleToInstall was an available GamerTag. Proceeding once again through the application and the stationary Batman and the Live login, I got an un-moving status bar indicating that all the legal entities involved were deliberating one final time.
In only a few moments, I got my reply and I was allowed to play!
Conclusion
We have come so far. Why, only five or six years ago, every Tom, Dick, and Harry could just go out and pay for software and install it. Now I can be Batman and know that not everyone will get here. Not everyone will even see Stationary Batman. For those who decry the direction Digital Rights Management is headed let me assure you that as an American I rest easy knowing that with a sufficient amount of money, time, dedication, and technical knowledge, I can earn the right to enjoy computer games.
Hehe... very enjoyable. But I was teetering between seething rage and joy. Seething rage induced by memories you invoked. Joy as your writing is quite entertaining.
(@)
Nicely done.
My Latest: I Accidentally the Whole Game Mechanic, Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3
After an hour I would have been googling for a crack. Good writing, but I hate the feeling that a game can be pulled away from you if someone trips over an important cable for a particular server, especially a single player game.
In my case the problem is a little closer to home, it's either a gremlin somewhere in my ISPs network that is making connectivity to my region of the country less reliable, or it's when my ISP supplied router goes through phases of rebooting itself for some reason (maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the socks I'm wearing, maybe it's the phase of the moon). The effect of this occasional dropping of connection for 2 minutes means that GFWL drops, meaning my single player game can't progress until it's reconnected because autosaving the game to my hard-drive and an online service are linked, so I wait until the LEDs on the router all go green and reconnect before progressing. From what I can gather from the steam forums, if you try to continue without the GFWL being connected it's likely to break your batman profile and reset your progress.
I don't think copy protections or integration with online services are bad, it's just that they are implemented under the assumption of ideal circumstances at the customers end. Publishers feel the need to protect their game, but when paying customers get an expensive paperweight instead of what they paid for then it needs to be a priority to fix it.
Very funny story about a no doubt unfunny event. A few hours ago I experienced something on a smaller scale with Mirror's Edge. I installed the EA Classics edition and wanted to play. No dice. First I had to allow Mirror's Edge (a SINGLE player game) to connect to the internet for registration purposes. Fine. Then Core.exe had to connect to verify my copy. Fine. Then I had to download a new version of EA's download manager (I was not allowed to not agree if I wanted to play). Fiiinnnneee... The EA server cannot be contacted, helpfully it suggests that I make sure I have an internet connection and to try again later.
"Later" it does actually connect and begins its download of the download manager after I inform Vista that yes, I'm ok (or rather "beaten until I agree") with this happening. The download eventually finishes, and asks me if I would like to install the DL manager. No, actually I'd rather just play the game, but that's not actually an option. It's like a voting machine where a "Yes" is counted as a "yes" and a "No" is counted as a "yes", or not counted at all until you decide to press "Yes" instead. I have to confirm to Vista that I am indeed accepting this action under no coercion whatsoever.
The installation begins and....appears to do nothing for many minutes, during which Mirror's Edge (represented solely by an approximately 600x300 pixel picture over my desktop) dutifully crashes, but affects nothing. TEN MINUTES LATER, the download manager finishes installing. I erroneously believe that I may be allowed to at least see the title screen soon. The DL manager now gives me the choice of whether I would like to download some Physx upgrade or not have access to the game. In comes the Physx upgrade, which once again I have to confirm multiple times. The DL manager disappears.
This is it! This is the moment I finally get to become a runner! I excitedly double-click the ME icon on my desktop! The 600x300px picture appears....and then I'm asked if I'd like to download the patch or go do something else instead. THIS IS THE EA CLASSICS EDITION! How much more could they have patched it?!?! Ffffffiiiiiiinnnnneeeee.... Several minutes and confirmations pass, and now I'm finally getting my first glimpse of anything in-game related...only to discover that the menu, as well as ALL TEXT IN THE GAME is in Hungarian, despite having bought the German version, which says "sound and text (ONLY) in German" on the back of the case. I know why - I have a Hungarian version of Vista, even though I set everything to English when I installed. I've had installers insist on remaining in Hungarian, but never a program unless it specifically stated that it was Hungarian language only. Ok, so you obviously have multiple language versions on the disc despite saying otherwise on the case, so why don't you give me the option to PICK my preferred one upon install, or at least change it in game instead of automatically installing it based on where I bought my operating system?!?! The only bright spots are that the game seems gorgeous and interesting, and I know enough Hungarian to get by in most cases...so far.
There's a reason no-cd cracks or cracked exe's are often labeled as "patches". A patch is supposed to fix an inherent flaw. Over the years they've been a godsend to avoid stupid hassles (or worse) in product that was always paid for.
A massive pile
"Mario teaches them to push buttons, something they're probably going to be doing when they wind up working for McDonald's because you failed as a parent." -MechaSlinky
IT does seem like a lot of these 'catches' are down to trying to be too clever. Batman wouldn't be a lesser game if it didn't have GFWL achievements and you had to register your cd-key with their website to get the DLC (see: The Witcher). Installers give you enough questions before putting the data on your hard-drive, if it asks you what language you want (even if it suggests another) it shouldn't try to second guess you and be clever, yet go against your choice.
That said, getting things wrong is easy to pick apart, but when companies get things right it's easy to not notice it or forget it. I'd like to take this opportunity to give Valve another pat on the back, I cannot recall anything idiotic they've done, their stuff works.
Some people would see this as a scathing commentary on PC gaming, but I prefer to think of it as a reminder of why I only buy games on Steam.
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Some similarly horrifying stories here. I should probably start using Steam...
I long for the good old days when you only had to contain your anticipation for as long as it took to get the box open and read the first two pages of the manual. (No counting the "cassette tape with asteroids on it" era of course...)
@Aus_TBird - Ouch, that does not sound like a fun evening.
That was awesome and hilarious and I have no idea if you've already been welcomed to GWJ but I welcome you to GWJ now oh god run-on sentence and now fire bears!
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I have nothing really much to add except...
...This.
Oh who am I kidding, I always got something to add.
Regarding Steam, it's not so much a case of "Digital distribution thumps DRM". Taking Batman:AA for example, even buying from Steam as I did, it still has Securom. But perhaps a less draconian version as there was no physical disk check. Then it still required Games for Windows, which gave me pause as I had vehemently avoided it in all various titles before this. I had to give in and conform or there wouldn't be any pointy ear-ed cowl for me. So it seems there is no real escape, just what reins the publisher decides to use on us. With Steam, I like to think the grip is a little lighter.
Yet the same doesn't apply to other Digital distribution platforms. For instance, I have the same avoidance of Direct2Drive as I had for GfW. And the less said about EA's digital distribution system the better.
In Summary, Steam is good very good. I can barely think of any other service I would use, Impulse being the only one other. But we are still at mercy of what "measures" publishers still decide to put between us and hot, black spandex.
In hindsight, now that I do have a GfW account, maybe I should do back an pick up all the DLC for Fallout 3 that I never got. I left it on hold waiting for the "fixed" ending for almost a year now.
Chumpy_McChump wrote:
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One thing that does slightly concern me is the future. Deux Ex, Bioshock and Batman AA are stand out games of when they were released, except DE was released 9 years ago.
If I want to play DE for the zillionth time I have to install it, patch it and off I go, exactly the same procedure as when I first installed it and no external dependencies, any compatibility problems are with the game itself (you can get 3rd party updated renderers for unreal engine games).
With a modern game relying on online activation is all hinges on those services still being online, plus being compatible with whatever version of windows you're running at the time. The second bit is a little addition as I feel it is an issue, I imagine securom has some clever things going on that may or may not work in future version of windows, I have to draw a parallel to starforce as I now have games that cannot work in win7 as they are no longer supported (but hey, as long as the games industry get our money instead of pirating, renting or reselling our games, it's better right?).
I ran into this recently with the old versions of Trackmania and Trackmania sunrise, which have tracks not included in following compilation (TM united) release. Luckily although I can't run the game, the tracks can still be used by the latest version (which I also own) so I can pretty much still play the tracks. If I didn't have this latest version I would have colourful coasters for all games using this protection if I tried to play them the way they were meant to be.
Back to waving "The end is nigh" placard around, but this is the sort of crap that causes all the "PC gaming is dying" effects, such as higher console sales in comparison to PC (who don't have to deal with this crap) and piracy (who also don't have to deal with this crap). This style of copy protection isn't preventing much when it makes your paying customers feel like idiots.
Thanks for the welcome!
Interestingly, my copy of Quake was bought in a store, where I was allowed to play the first 1/4 of the game. If i wanted to continue, I had to call iD, give them my CC# and they gave me a code that unlocked the game. If I lost that code, I had to call them and get a new code. It was 10x more of a pain in the ass than online activation today.
It was not until much later that they released the full version of the game. I download a crack for Quake, as it seemed to silly to have to keep calling id for permission to play my game. But that was 13 years ago.
And it was seven years ago I swore of PC gaming because of what a pain it was to deal with installing and updating software to play a game. Apparently many others agreed, but instead of switching to consoles they compensated by stealing software. This has resulted in a clusterf*ck of DRM schemes and other BS designed to make PC gaming profitable for publishers.
I'd say Steam is the closest thing that could get me back into PC gaming. But even they can't reliably sell me games that will perform on whatever system I might be playing on. So gaming, for me, continues to be done on the most hassle-free platform I can find. Right now, that's a 360. I fully expect XBL to sell me games and make them as hassle-free as Steam, but more reliably compatible with my console than Steam can do with whatever PC I might use.
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Move over Certis; Frolic is awesome.
Fear the flames...
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I was far more peeved at the cryptic and overly technical SecuRom process than Microsoft Live. Imagine for a moment you are a soccer mom. Now look in a mirror and kind of arch your back. Now pout and mess with your hair. Good. Very hot. Now imagine you have purchased the Batman for say, the pool guy, and you end up having to visit The Magical World of SecuRom for help. I am 100% certain the game would be returned as "broken" to the store.
Tell someone you love them, because life is short. But holler it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Very nicely written, Frolic. Despite having 3 PCs in the house, one of which would be a capable gaiming rig, I'm going to stick with my consoles.
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Great story Frolic. After watching my husband lose a fight with a game that contained SecuRom, I'm sticking with the consoles and Steam.
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Bravo, very well written.
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It seems like your battle was lost when you tried to install the game from a disc image "backup." I can't imagine why the securom would allow you to do this. If you wanted to make a backup for some reason, why not just do so after installing the game?
I would have never reinstalled my OS or even tried to contact any of the customer service representatives. If you bought the game and the quick fix is to download a crack, why not just do that. The only reason I can see for you wanting to use a disc image is so that you can mount the image and not have to look for the DVD. In that case, the cd crack probably does just that and likely allows you to bypass the GFW live nonsense.
I enjoyed reading your post though, nice job.
No, no, that was just the #9000 Securom error. I always run all my disks as mountable ISOs, I never change the physical disk in my physical drive I just pick the ISO I want and mount it virtually. Batman is now the sole exception.
The #2000 error, who knows. It is most likely a SecuRom bug with one or more pieces of the Visual C SDK, redistributable, or DotNet.
The point is that SecuRom made it a painful process for an actual paying customer to use the game, and when you peruse their site you can tell there are numbers of cryptic problems with many titles not installing or not launching.
Yeah I could have just cracked but I was having too much fun being angry about it to cop out like that.
perhaps becuase cracking the game prevents batman from being able to glide.
Elephants are not blue
I just doubt that the average consumer will have any of those things installed. Being a non-average consumer, you also have the knowledge of the crack workarounds which means there probably isn't such a huge problem for the consumer population. It is frustrating since everyone on this site is part of the non-average part of that population which is probably more likely to encounter these issues.
I haven't played the game or looked into the cracks, but I'm sure there will be patches that don't have that issue.
Sometimes its fun to get upset (how weird is that?), but lately I've tried to just stop myself and move on. I don't know how many hours I've spent re-installing my OS and trouble shooting non-sense. At this point, I'd prefer things to just work. I can understand the fun in trying to get it to work, but often it stops being fun at some point.
Kind of defeats the purpose of making a backup if you'll never be able to use it, don't you think?
(@)
My guess would be that a disc image burned to an actual DVD may have better luck than mounting it with an application. If you need a CD key and active internet connection to play the game, I don't really see the point of all the DRM anyway. It seems like the DVD is just a convenient way to install the game rather than downloading the whole file from a server. This is why I purchased disc copies of Team Fortress 2 and Left 4 Dead.
If you can find somewhere that will allow you to do so. It's my understanding that PC games are notoriously difficult to return for a refund even in the event that the game is incompatible with your system.
My Latest: I Accidentally the Whole Game Mechanic, Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3
Well everything can be returned everywhere if you are incoherent and irrational enough. My mother is an absolute pro at this. But fair enough, I've never tried to return an opened game to Best Buy. If I was in that position I'd make sure to put on one oven mitt, a top hat, and talk in falsetto and I'm pretty sure I'd get something in the way of store credit.
I tell you what, should you have another issue requiring such a treatment, I'll pay you $50 to film the described event and put it up on Youtube.
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The bouncing doesn't bother me. Mine don't bounce much at all. - EvilHomer3k
It was likely the imaging software giving you trouble. SecuROM actively exists to prevent you from doing exactly what you were trying to do, and will often refuse to load a game on any system with drive image software it recognizes as being present. That's why the reinstall worked -- you didn't reinstall your drive image software.
For better or worse, virtual drive images are the primary piracy method. And you were indeed trying to run the game without having the original DVD available, so there's no reasonable way that SecuROM would be able to differentiate between you and a pirate. After it detected you trying to fool it, it would be fairly dumb for it to trust anything the system said about available DVDs subsequently.
Elewis17 wrote: