A long time ago, an old girlfriend of mine told me to try vaporub as a lubricant. At the time, not so funny. Today, moronic and a source of humor for me and my wife.

I no longer have the picture it seems but my raged induced destruction of my 360 elite, 4 controllers, and some 20 games comes to mind. Especially because the reason I destroyed it was fixed not to long after I did it...

My mom had recently died in a car wreck and I was in a crazy place. Just angry about the how and why of it. I bought the 360 elite with some of my inheritance money as a distraction for myself. Instead when I came across the DRM stuff it uncorked all my pent up emotions instead.

When I was in my late teens breaking into a house to talk to my ex g/f is another good example. Crying like a baby while 4 cops were frisking me on the ground. Luckily my ex g/f's friend was convinced not to press any charges. One positive of it though was one of the cops had a man to man talk with me about how lucky I was that night. Talked to me about women and life in general. A lot of what he said made sense to me.

Another one would be the time a friend and I were kicked out of a strip club and dropped a bunch of f-bombs on the bouncers that followed us into the parking lot. Long story short it ended up with me being beaten up while seat belted in my car by 3 of the 4 bouncers while the 4th yelled at my friend through the passenger window. There is more to the story and it is a whole lot of stupid. I plead the 5th though.

Offered up in sacrifice to the DRM gods. I still have the letter from Microsoft. Dsgamer's suggestion to trade it in for a PS3 hit me like a splash of water. A very smart completely sane idea that never once occurred to me.

I walked into a running edger. Got fives cuts, and one was about an inch away from my tendon. I have no idea what I was thinking.

Once I let a round-trip airline voucher expire because I couldn't decide where to go.

It's unconfirmed gossip at this stage, but I'd like to nominate my mate for spending last night drunkenly hitting on a mutual friend of ours. Wouldn't be too bad in it's own right, except he works with her. And knows she's lived with her boyfriend for a couple of years.

Ditto except I told myself to try it.

Hmm... What to choose...

I was playing with a simple toy at work, a kind of interconnected bit of plastic elbow macaroni. One of the connector pegs broke off in another, and in my infinite wisdom, I decided to try and pry out the broken piece with my pocket knife. Well, in the process of trying to pry it out, the knife began to close back into it's case, where the tip of my right index finger was resting. It promptly sliced the tip in half, through the nail. It was hanging by a tiny flap. The ER doctor stitched me up and superglued everything together. When my GP was removing the stitches, he told me I was likely to lose the nail, and it would grow deformed from now on. Well, the ER doctor did his work well, because I did not lose the nail, and it does not grow any differently than it ever did before. I have a nearly invisible scar leftover, so I was tremendously lucky.

Another one, I was probably about 15 years old, and had gotten into building my own computers a few years before. I had completed my first major, all-new component build, and added an item of luxury: an RF wireless mouse. This was before optical mice. I had been gaming with it, a particularly frustrating game, which I can't even recall anymore, and in a moment of anger, I picked up the mouse and slammed it on the desk. It didn't work after that. It had not been inexpensive.

There are plenty of others, but I think I'd rather stop here.

I think Brezahd wins.

Also, I dated a woman recently who everyone told me was bipolar. She was.

Is there an expiration date?

13 years ago I tried my luck playing Vampire the Masquerade role playing game . They asked for donations for the club's activity on one specific day . I was up some stairs (about 7 or 8) , so I jumped and landed with on an extended leg. The result was "a fracture of the tibial plateau" and it hurt a lot for 2 month.

This is so choice if true.

You know that classic cartoon gag where someone turns on a hose, then looks into the end to see why no water is coming out? I did that, and sprayed a jet of water directly into my eye.

When I got my first swiss army knife I immediately went outside to try it out on a piece of wood. After a while I noticed the blade was starting to fold back in, so I tried to push the blade back into place. Applying pressure directly to a very sharp blade with my thumb was, in retrospect, a very bad idea.

I once rested my hand directly on a hot stove element and had a spiral burn mark on my palm for a long time afterward.

Once, on a Boy Scout camping trip, some friends and I were wandering through the bush and found a bunch of small dead trees. Naturally, it seemed like a great idea to push them over. One tree was being particularly stubborn, so I started wiggling it back and forth to weaken it. Suddenly, it started to topple over - directly towards me. My friends tell me that they saw me come crashing towards them through the bush at top speed while a tree slowly fell down behind me, just missing me.

I did this with a squeeze bottle of mustard.

One time, when I was working at Gamestop in the mall, I went to work, left my car unlocked, with the keys in the ignition, and the car running. 8 hours later, I came out to my car and noticed but it was still there.