I need a plane ticket to Mexico now! Help!

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

I have a problem that I fear only the great BrainTrust(tm) here can solve.

Back in January, my younger sister went on a mission trip to Mexico and, as is to be expected, met a boy. Since then they've carried on a long-distance relationship until recently; she went down there a couple weeks ago to spend more time with him, and apparently things are moving along rapidly. I say this because I got a message from my mom this morning, saying she's on her way to Mexico this Friday because my sister wants to get married!

A little background: we were raised conservative Christian (SDA), and the rest of my nuclear family still is very observant. So the whole time they've been dating even long-distance, they've been "receiving counsel" from a lot of people both down there and in Michigan, where my fam is. And since her paramour is a pastor, unless they're married she can't travel with him for both cultural and religious reasons. I imagine part of her impatience is that he serves small towns in the Tabasco/Chiapas area, and I know he's had some... security issues. Right now she's staying with the head elders for the area, which is comparable to the local bishop putting her up. They're quite well-supervised; dating in that denomination is akin to being Muslim, or Mormon.

So I need to get down there next week, basically. I already have my tickets to Austin for the S&T, so getting there from Texas is a possibility. I'm looking for flights from Miami, Ft. Laud, Austin, and Houston, and my mom says to fly into Villahermosa, which is the closest major airport to the area they're in. I'm hoping I won't have to pawn a kidney to pay for it, but it could go either way at this point.

The other wrinkle is that I don't have a valid passport, so I have to do something about that too. My Michigan people are driving to Chicago to hit the main passport office there... Gorilla helpfully suggested I look at expediting a border crossing card, so I'm looking into that right now too. Is it hard to convince the passport people you need emergency passport processing, or do you just show them your plane ticket and an extra hundred dollars?

So I turn to you, goodjers, in my hour of need... your wisdom and snarky commentary is appreciated. eek!

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

Consultant
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas

Yeah passport business is insane. I don't think its worth the fees but if its that important you'll be selling that kidney to get anywhere. I think swimming off the non-existant rio grande into mexico is your best bet. In Texas you would do better with passports in San Antonio or Houston. I can't remember which one has the best passport processing. Most of the stuff is moved from there to Louisiana to get printed and sent. They might be able to hook you up with that border cross temporary.

Optimus Primate
Gorilla.800.lbs's picture
Location: New York, NY

No, it's not hard at all. When you apply for a passport at a post-office, you pay about $40 to USPS for the middlemanship, and $60 to State Department itself for the passport. This puts a passport in your hands "in 3-4 weeks". You have an option to expedite that to "within 2 weeks" by paying the double State Dept fee -- ie $120 (again, I think that's what it is now).

If that is not fast enough for you, you can get the passport in 1-2 days by going to your regional State Dept passport office. You should be prepared to pay a more substantial fee -- like $400, but they aren't making it hard, except that you're likely to stand in a very long line, and as such should arrive to the office very early so as to avoid that "am I gonna get it done today or not" stress.

I don't think you even need actual tickets in hand -- just state that you have an urgent travel need. I know people who went to Connecticut office (that's where it is for NY) and gotten their passports in one day, all because they had a surprise good deal popping up on a Carribean cruise or a European vacation.

Look up http://www.state.gov. You'll find the fee schedule and location of your regional office and everything else you need.

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

Woo! I need some good news right now.

I've since discovered that it's pretty cheap for me to get to Cancun from here- is it viable to look at overlanding it from Cancun to Villahermosa, or will I end up in a bottomless pothole along the way? I figure the bus drivers there can't be much worse than Miami drivers.

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

El Pollo Diablo
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Location: Standing over a stained copy of an old Ronald McDonald ad, masturbating furiously screaming MY WAY!

What the f*ck is it with pastors? I just heard about a friend of mine making a priest leave his uhh station or whatever it's called and marry her.

Quote:
And since her paramour is a pastor, unless they're married she can't travel with him for both cultural and religious reasons. I imagine part of her impatience is that he serves small towns in the Tabasco/Chiapas area, and I know he's had some... security issues. Right now she's staying with the head elders for the area, which is comparable to the local bishop putting her up. They're quite well-supervised; dating in that denomination is akin to being Muslim, or Mormon.

Haha, are you saying you think she's still a virgin? In that hippie area? Right... All these guys are about "free love"

Anyway I didn't know you guys needed a passport to get into Mexico, that's funny

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

Mex wrote:
What the f*ck is it with pastors? I just heard about a friend of mine making a priest leave his uhh station or whatever it's called and marry her.

Whoa... You're not talking about Father Cutie, are you? Papi Chulo? It's been all over the news here for weeks!

Mex wrote:
Haha, are you saying you think she's still a virgin? In that hippie area? Right... All these guys are about "free love"

Dunno, don't wanna know- just saying that's what the rules are

I think you need a passport to fly in nowadays... I'm assuming the rules are the same as for Canada. No visas for us imperialist pig-dogs though.

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

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Podunk's picture
Location: The People's Republic of Goodge

Mex wrote:
Anyway I didn't know you guys needed a passport to get into Mexico, that's funny

I think the problem is not so much getting into Mexico, it's getting back into the US.

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Pharacon's picture
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas... Houston that is...

Yeah, also do not forget you can carry home two big bottles of Mexicos best for no charge! Have fun!


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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

I expected a post from Legion here, but I guess he's off crying somewhere. Couldn't close the deal, I guess.

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

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Phishposer's picture
Location: The 'Nati

Podunk wrote:
I think the problem is not so much getting into Mexico, it's getting back into the US.

A number of years ago my mother-in-law got into Mexico with her Sam's Club card. She needed better ID to get back into the US

MyBrainHz wrote:

Then the largest of them spake, saying, "WOE UNTO THE ENTIRE TEAM, WHO ART BABIES!"

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AnimeJ's picture
Location: Home Sweeeet Home / I thank my lucky stars at night

Here's the info on Passports and fees. Looking at it, Routine in person is $100, and an extra $60 to expedite. No idea how fast that is from this page though, but you're looking @ $160 for an expedited passport. Given that it seems it gets mailed regardless, add in an extra $15 or so for overnight shipping, delivery confirmation, etc. Given that you appear to be flying, yes, you will need a passport. Info on how that process works here

On to plane tickets. In general, you're going to pay extra getting them a few weeks out from the trip. That said, there are still plenty of places to maybe get a deal. Travelocity, Priceline, CheapTickets, the gamut. All I can say is find the cheapest out there. Good Luck!

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

Found a cheap ticket, no problem, but there are no appointments at the Miami passport office until the 9th. There is one in New Orleans at 8am tomorrow morning, or I can get on a plane to DC. Can I rent a car and make it to NOLA in 13 hours? Probably. Am I ready to drink heavily and forget about all of this? Definitely.

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

Head Coach
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*Legion*'s picture
Location: Texas

clover wrote:
I expected a post from Legion here, but I guess he's off crying somewhere. Couldn't close the deal, I guess.

Send her my regards. Tell her I love her. I've loved her ever since I knew she was a redhead and hot.

Also tell her that it's not too late. Tell her that once you go white computer programmer, you never go back... to having to deal with computer problems.

You should follow me on Twitter: @legion

Steam: *Legion* | Xbox Live: Legion SB | PSN: Legion_SB | Origin: LegionSB

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Rat Boy's picture
Location: Home of the 2010 World Champion San Francisco Giants!

clover wrote:
Found a cheap ticket, no problem, but there are no appointments at the Miami passport office until the 9th. There is one in New Orleans at 8am tomorrow morning, or I can get on a plane to DC. Can I rent a car and make it to NOLA in 13 hours? Probably. Am I ready to drink heavily and forget about all of this? Definitely.

Getting a passport after the most recent rule change is a pain in the ass. You could end up waiting a month to get it.

*Legion* wrote:
clover wrote:
I expected a post from Legion here, but I guess he's off crying somewhere. Couldn't close the deal, I guess.

Send her my regards. Tell her I love her. I've loved her ever since I knew she was a redhead and hot.

Also tell her that it's not too late. Tell her that once you go white computer programmer, you never go back... to having to deal with computer problems.

Did I miss something?

"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie

"Butt hat is my opinion and we all know how far that goes around here." - Demonicmaster

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WizKid's picture
Location: Utah

Rat Boy wrote:

*Legion* wrote:
clover wrote:
I expected a post from Legion here, but I guess he's off crying somewhere. Couldn't close the deal, I guess.

Send her my regards. Tell her I love her. I've loved her ever since I knew she was a redhead and hot.

Also tell her that it's not too late. Tell her that once you go white computer programmer, you never go back... to having to deal with computer problems.

Did I miss something?

No, but apparently Clover's sister did.

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

Rat Boy wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
clover wrote:
I expected a post from Legion here, but I guess he's off crying somewhere. Couldn't close the deal, I guess.

Send her my regards. Tell her I love her. I've loved her ever since I knew she was a redhead and hot.

Also tell her that it's not too late. Tell her that once you go white computer programmer, you never go back... to having to deal with computer problems.

Did I miss something?

It started here, but somehow on Twitter it turned into my sister looking like a white mage, and us making a Charlie's Angels poster, and some other craziness. Legion started it ninja

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

Head Coach
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*Legion*'s picture
Location: Texas

clover wrote:
It started here, but somehow on Twitter it turned into my sister looking like a white mage, and us making a Charlie's Angels poster, and some other craziness. Legion started it ninja

And I would have finished it too, if it wasn't for that damn c*ck-blocking Mexican pastor!

You should follow me on Twitter: @legion

Steam: *Legion* | Xbox Live: Legion SB | PSN: Legion_SB | Origin: LegionSB

I stab at thee
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Montalban's picture
Location: Hell's heart

*Legion* wrote:
clover wrote:
It started here, but somehow on Twitter it turned into my sister looking like a white mage, and us making a Charlie's Angels poster, and some other craziness. Legion started it ninja

And I would have finished it too, if it wasn't for that damn c*ck-blocking Mexican pastor!

This is why I come to the site week after week. Sentences like this.

"This is the series where you have a fistfight with the Pope because he's misusing the wizard staff he stole from the dead aliens. I think they're okay with stretching the truth for plot purposes." -CptGlanton

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

Hey, we aims to please.

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

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*Legion*'s picture
Location: Texas

clover wrote:
Hey, we aims to please.

Well, I would have, if she would have given me the chance.

You should follow me on Twitter: @legion

Steam: *Legion* | Xbox Live: Legion SB | PSN: Legion_SB | Origin: LegionSB

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

*Legion* wrote:
clover wrote:
Hey, we aims to please.

Well, I would have, if she would have given me the chance!

Alas, it now appears that in my family red hair = finding Latin boys. We're 2 for 2 anyway.

In relevant news:
I have an appointment in New Orleans at 9am on Monday morning. This would be a relief, except there is no guarantee that I'll get same-day processing, just a higher probability. So there's a chance that I'll get screwed at the other end of the 13-hour drive.

But on the plus side, the actual flight to Mexico will be pretty cheap.

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

Head Coach
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*Legion*'s picture
Location: Texas

clover wrote:
Alas, it now appears that in my family red hair = finding Latin boys. We're 2 for 2 anyway.

Damn my North European ancestry.

You should follow me on Twitter: @legion

Steam: *Legion* | Xbox Live: Legion SB | PSN: Legion_SB | Origin: LegionSB

El Pollo Diablo
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clover wrote:
Alas, it now appears that in my family red hair = finding Latin boys. We're 2 for 2 anyway.

Tell me more

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gargamello's picture
Location: Las Vegas, NV

Once you get there, what are you going to tell her that you can't tell her on the phone. You can't tell women what to do with their love lives. They'll do what they want, and if you disagree they'll just do it with that much more conviction. Good luck though! You certainly sound determined.

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

Mex wrote:
clover wrote:
Alas, it now appears that in my family red hair = finding Latin boys. We're 2 for 2 anyway.

Tell me more

Dear Penthouse...

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

Junior Executive
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Dax's picture
Location: Bellingham, WA

Whoa, my sister in law went to Mexico to work with Wywam (sp?) missions and met a formerly-Mexican-street-thug-turned-Christian and now they're getting married. My wife, my sister in law and myself all came from conservative Christian backgrounds (CRC) too. Clover, maybe we are the same person, but exist in neighborly parallel universes, and can now communicate through a glitch in the Internets. Also we both live near 'Hollywood'. Freaky!

*queues twilight zone music

Don't dry bagonquest. -Lara

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

gargamello wrote:
Once you get there, what are you going to tell her that you can't tell her on the phone. You can't tell women what to do with their love lives. They'll do what they want, and if you disagree they'll just do it with that much more conviction. Good luck though! You certainly sound determined.

I'm not going there to talk her out of it, I'm just going to be there for the wedding. At least I get a trip to Mexico out of it...

Dax wrote:
Whoa, my sister in law went to Mexico to work with Wywam (sp?) missions and met a formerly-Mexican-street-thug-turned-Christian and now they're getting married. My wife, my sister in law and myself all came from conservative Christian backgrounds (CRC) too. Clover, maybe we are the same person, but exist in neighborly parallel universes, and can now communicate through a glitch in the Internets. Also we both live near 'Hollywood'. Freaky!

*queues twilight zone music

We must never meet in the flesh. The very fabric of space-time will be torn asunder!

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"

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LightBender's picture
Location: Have Gun, Will Travel.

Aww... and I had images of an 80's action movie where a bunch of ex special forces guys gear up to save some buddy from a third world country.

Would it be too much to hire Blackwater to cater the wedding?

'Chaos claims the unwary or the incomplete. A true man may flinch away its embrace, if he is stalwart, and he girds his soul with the armour of contempt." - Gideon Ravenor

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Evo's picture
Location: Northern VA

Call your Congressman's local office. They can help expedite the passport.

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Rat Boy's picture
Location: Home of the 2010 World Champion San Francisco Giants!

Evo wrote:
Call your Congressman's local office. They can help expedite the passport.

I hear it's easy to get out of the country if you work for the governor of South Carolina.

"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie

"Butt hat is my opinion and we all know how far that goes around here." - Demonicmaster

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clover's picture
Location: Cascadia

Rat Boy wrote:
Evo wrote:
Call your Congressman's local office. They can help expedite the passport.

I hear it's easy to get out of the country if you work for the governor of South Carolina.

Yes, I'm in a hurry to "hike the Appalachian trail", if you know what I mean.

Maybe "going to Buenos Aires" will become a euphemism for actually going hiking?

dejanzie- "Let's say Stephen Hawking is after your new pc, and your porn is backed up- would you find it wrong to shoot him?"
LiquidMantis- "Hell no. I'd push over his wheelchair then teabag him while shouting, 'Here's your universe in a nutshell!'"