Is the current version of America's Army any good? It's been years since I've played that, but it's the only serious style FPS I can recall ever since the Tom Clancy games spiraled into bullsh*t.

Red Orchestra (on steam) is a possibility - but you will die...a lot...if you're not practiced in it.

If you look around you can find some pretty fun servers for Day of Defeat Source.
My brother has been hitting that game pretty hard lately, and if I didn't have such a huge backlog of other games I'd be joining him.

Swat 4 is good. I don't play it any more, so I don't know if it meets any of the other criteria.

What he said.

In Red Orchestra, asshats are very to extremely rare (at least here in Europe, don't know about overseas yet), map count is well into double digits (and those are all high quality maps), realism and tactics are second to none, hardware requirements are very low (UT2k4 engine). Very hard and very rewarding tank battles are available, but not obligatory, because there are maybe two to three armor exclusive maps where it isn't at all feasible to stay just a foot soldier, and those maps are almost always in rotation on armor exclusive servers.

Red Orchestra is a game of hard realism and huge emphasis of tactics, where you play smart and either take your time, hug your cover and pick your battles carefully, or you just die. Twitch skills and luck alone will get you nowhere.

If Eastern Front is not quite your cup of tea (which would really be shame), there are still free expansions that bring on North Africa (Mare Nostrum) and Western front (DarkestHour).

The price on Steam is very reasonable, in my humble opinion.

200? That is tough, but I also often end up on 120+ servers. Take a bolt action rifle, or sit in a tank and pick them off from distance. With that kind of ping, it is only a matter of leading them properly, right? Stay away from SMG's and close combat and you can probably still have fun.

Insurgency. Its free too.

Which is kind of a shame, as I really want to like the game. But it's damned hard with teamkilling whiny bitches, and no actual teamwork.

I used to play Red Orchestra all the time (I've still got the mod version installed even.). It's something I'll likely pick up once I have money. (For anyone who's seen me play L4D, you know a high ping means nothing. My record is 3700, and winning.)

I'll have to check out AA, I've not played it in ages.

Nothing like non-lethal deathmatch.

What about Rainbow Six Vegas 2? I picked that up a while ago but never played it....

SWAT 4 was great, but setting up games was a real pain due to wonky implementation of the multiplayer code. I also remember playing some Rainbow Six 3 with the GWJ crowd back in the day. (Yikes, that was a while ago!)

I haven't played America's Army in quite some time. I don't know if there's a following among the GWJ crowd, but I remember it being a fairly good experience. And it's free.

I've also had a lot of fun messing around with Red Orchestra. As mentioned, it has a pretty steep learning curve and requires teamwork to get anywhere, which I think helps to scare off most of the griefers. At worst, players are sometimes impatient, driving off in a tank without waiting for a complete crew. It goes on sale from time to time.

Excellent mod. Can't recommend enough.

Which server do you play on? I normally play on Tactical Gamer server, though it's been months.

I second WW2 online. It takes a lot of effort to get into it but it can be a rewarding experience. The only problem is the games strange control scheme and the amount of time it takes to get into the action. It takes over 20 buttons to drive and gun a tank if you don't own a joystick. It is quite possible to spend 20 minutes driving that tank to the front line only to get pasted by a stuka dive bomber you never saw coming.