When have you been really sad?
I thought this might be one of those threads where we kinda get to know each other a bit. Nothing TOO personal need be revealed. Currently, I'm going through a pretty hard breakup. Dated a wonderful woman named Lisa for a little over a year. In many ways, I thought Lisa would be the one to finally replace my ex-wife. I was married for 18 years, but wasn't terribly shy about making the committment again. Things seemed to be going well. Then today she dropped the bomb that she has lost interest and asked I send her no more emails, texts or IM's. I will respect her wishes of course, but I'm kind of in shock right now. If I spent the weekend with her, this is the same woman who would not let me get out of bed at night except to go to the restroom. No getting up to watch tv if I was restless. So it always hurts when someone you love does not return the love or sends you away. I have little energy for gaming today, but this got me to thinking what have been times when others have been sad?
I had a similar experience with an ex. We had been together for about 13 months. We had a somewhat sh*tty weekend (we got in a fight about something or another) but we hung out that Monday and had a great time then that Wednesday she breaks up with me. I was fairly young at the time (20 although I'm only 23 now) and I definitely took it hard, but with a little time and perspective, it was a good thing.
Sometimes these things just seem to come out of nowhere and there's not much you can do about it, but I feel your pain.
I know jumping in a game of Counter-Strike with the name "My gf just broke up with me... DIE!" (or something very close) and stabbing people with knives made me feel quite a bit better.
Fletcher wrote:
Never really got sad over a break-up. for whatever reason, anger would fit more than sadness during a break-up, even ones in which we did not fight.
One of my best friends died when I was 22. He was on the way to getting his third DUI when he decided to run, and then crashed. We all knew he had a drinking problem. I had taken his keys a number of times, and even had a stranger from the bar we were at follow us so I could get a ride back to the bar we were at after driving him and his car home.
The problem was, he was one of my drinking buddies, and it was easy to feel like a hypocrite. So we never really tried to solve his problem.
But they played Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here at the funeral, where I was a pallbearer. To this day, almost 20 years later, I still tear up during that song. I still see his face, I still think about what was going through his head in those last moments. It kills me.
The only other time was seeing my brother after he seriously wrecked his motorcycle. I broke down after seeing him at the hospital not that long after he taken by copter from Lawrence to KC. He had put his head through the side window of a pick-up truck that he T-boned. Oh, and his helmet was securely fastened to the back of his bike.
Those are the two things that will still tear me up when I think about them.
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My son born very premature. We live in a rural area, so they had to fly in a team from a larger hospital that was qualified to handle the delivery. He was delivered by emergency C-section, and rushed from the room. They took him to a little room where they worked on stabilizing him for a long time. I was watching, and they closed the blinds when they noticed me there.
The saddest I have ever been in my life was filling out his birth certificate, because I didn't know if he would still be with us at the end of the day.
He is a really tough kid though, and he did make it. After nearly 5 months in the NICU, we were able to bring him home. He is now 4 years old, and is the light of my life. He has a lot of obstacles to overcome, due to both his prematurity, and being diagnosed with Myotonic Dystrophy (a type of muscular dystrophy), but he's an amazing, wonderful child.
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That time when I was making out with my first blonde girl and she said "Wanna do it? " and I didn't have any condoms... CRAP.
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I don't usually get touched by very strong emotion, but definitely the saddest thing was when I was on a trip as a 'hang on' writer with a band.
I got a call from a friend to tell me that another had died in a car accident. She was an 18 year old girl, drinking and driving, she and another died after being thrown from the car. That is why I'm militantly anti-DUI.
kuddles wrote:
Definitely the day I got dumped by my first GF.
Also, I don't know if sad is the right word, but the day my a-hole GP very heavily implied that the small benign lump I had was a cancerous tumor, and I walked around in a half-aware daze for a week.
"PEACE ON EARTH. GOOD WILL TO MEN. PUBLIC SHELTER. ADMISSION 50¢"
Yup mine was definitely after my gf of almost 4 yrs ended our relationship completely out of nowhere. I was a few weeks short of asking her to marry me, I was just trying to figure out a special way to do it. Had no idea that she was having any problems with the relationship. It sucked big time but I got over it eventually and I do believe I'm better off for it now. I learned a lot of lessons from the relationship and it gives me more time to pursue my CS degree and play video games.
Damn... some sad tales here. I'm gonna sound almost as uncaring as Mex
Two of the saddest times (and i mean upset and not unhappy because i draw a distinction between the two) in my life have been when two of the family's pets have died. The first when i was really young, maybe 8-10 (can't remember exactly when but i wasn't at senior school yet) and i came downstairs in the morning before school. Hercules, our black-and-white, weak-legged, rescued cat was lying on the settee not getting up. It was obvious he was dying and as i sat there and stroked him before he left he looked up at me and purred. I tried not to cry because i didn't want him to feel sad in his last moments.
The second time was when i found out that one of the more recent cats at home, Ripley, had been run over and had died in my mum's arms. She had only been quite young but had a lovely character.
I'm lucky in the sense that i've never lost anyone close to me. I may not have certain people as friends anymore and relationships come and go but i take that as part of life... i know those people are still alive.
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Doomed - to - insidious -
Death - is - he - who - breaks
this - monument - i - prophesy
I'm in a pretty bad place right now.
I just broke up with my girlfriend of over two years (it was good, but it wasn't going anywhere... I'm probably just an a-hole, I don't know). I've changed jobs and I'm traveling a lot, I'm living at home with the parents while I look for a new place (just moved back here from Jersey).
In general I have a lot of things going for me, but I'm not in the best of places right now.
Walking out of The Phantom Menace.
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Here I am on day 2 after her nuclear break up and I don't feel any better than I did yesterday. Of course I came rushing in to see if there was ANY sigh from her, but nothing. I did send a fairly long email wishing her well and how sorry I was I would never get to hold her again and tell her how gorgeous she was. Now someone else gets to do that and I hate that it's not me. But nothing from her. No email, no text, no nothing. She just made the surgically clean break. Great for her, leaves a lot of unanswered questions for me. Anyway, I'm thinking I should have taken about 10 Ambiens so I'd sleep through a few days at a time.
Crap, life just generally sucks at times...
I got a temporary job working at the same place where my father has worked for the past 26 years. There was a VERY slim chance that some of us might be hired on longer, but I got laid off at the end of it. My last day I told one woman whom I'd befriended while there that I'd been let go, and she said, "Oh, that's too bad, your dad was so happy to have you here." It was no one's fault, they only ended up keeping two out of the fifty people they'd brought on for temp positions. But I was bummed out about being laid off to begin with, and her comment certainly didn't help.
Also, my great aunt and great uncle lived together for a long time (brother and sister, not married). My great uncle, much like my grandfather, was a very quiet person, although more even-tempered than my grandfather. He would always give my sister and me half dollar coins. He was a kind soul. When he passed away, and they handed the flag over to my great aunt, it was a hard moment to witness. I was sitting next to her, and she could barely say "thank you." And I don't know how many of you have personally experienced a 21-gun salute at a funeral, (I've been to four funerals with them, all WWII vets passing) but that is certainly pretty emotional.
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Well, I tend to get sad easily but forget about them easily too. Which is probably the reason I am still alive right now
.
But I remember one of my sadder moments was in my late Junior college year. I broke my rib during a grappling practice, but still pushed on to train for my Black Belt test in TaeKwongDo. After finally finishing the test, which I and my teammates all thought that I have done really well. I was told that I didn't pass, and I was given a chance to retest. The reason was that my Poomsaes (sp?) are not as good as they should be, despite the fact that everything else was excellent
So for a while I was really really depressed... I wondered about what is the point of working hard (actually I think about this a lot). I thought about just giving up... But thankfully I didn't, thanks to my friends and teammates.
Speaking of thinking about "what is the point?" I woke up this morning with that dreaded feeling of my life is pointless again... For the past week, I, for some odd reason, have hard time breathing... What really gets me though, is the fact that I workout religiously, I work harder than most people at the gym and I do double sessions (cardio, and weights and kickboxing training) everyday. I shouldn't have trouble breathing!
This set off a chain of depressing thoughts for the past week, and this morning I am at my lowest... I mean, what is the point of doing anything? No one cares, if I go blind right now, would anyone even notice that I didn't show up for work? What is the point of working hard, eat healthy, and try to make everyone happy? I am really just a selfish bastard that one day will be reclaimed by mother earth!
Oh boy, thanks for the thread. It is really good to actually be able to get these things off of my chest right now. I feel much better now
(did I mention that I forget fast? )
Decisions are just decisions, there are neither "good" or "bad"
LobsterMobster wrote:
Good thread. Looking at the scars helps.
Once I got so drunk that on my way home, walking, I feel asleep on the floor. BAM, right there, in front of a door.
The police cruised by, woke me and asked me if I was ok. Half conscious, I told them no, and asked if they could get me home.
By then I had somewhat of a clear mind, but no control over my balance. The ride home was sickening. I knew I would disappoint my parents. I felt like i failed them completely.
I was 16 years old, and it was really drunk for the first time.
The next day my father said something like "well son, I hope you learnt your lesson well. Life isn't just videogames, and I'm glad you experienced what you did, mostly because you came home safe. Now, don't do that again!"
I'll never forget that lesson.
About 3 years later my dad died. And with his departure, and long period of grieving, I came to realise that life is meant to be lived out in full. I learnt the full extent of that lesson. Yes, sometimes is just f*cked up, but that's part of the game, and I'm grateful my dad did such a good job.
Sometimes you fall. You pick yourself up, remember why you fell, and move on.
This happens to everyone, I think. I had a period a few years ago where I was so anxious over stuff like this that I would have difficulty breathing, and trouble getting to sleep, to the point that it would take me two or three hours to relax enough that I could sleep. It was maddeningly frustrating too, because I would doze off, only for my brain to realize that I was asleep, and it would jerk me awake again (I was also afraid that because of my breathing difficulty, I would stop breathing while asleep). Of course, the breathing difficulty was entirely in my head (obviously, I'm still here) and I would have no trouble once asleep, but you couldn't convince my conscious mind of it. I worked out of it. All of these famous people dying recently has really triggered many similar thoughts, but my anxiety over it has not been nearly so acute this time. Part of the human condition, I think.
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Yeah very good point about the whole thing being in our heads. This brain of ours really like to play game with ourselves don't they?
Aside: I often wondered what it would be like to be a being that doesn't "think too much." Would they get sad when they die?
Decisions are just decisions, there are neither "good" or "bad"
LobsterMobster wrote:
This morning a lady who happens to work for the SPCA witnessed someone who had run over a cat. She brought the cat into our clinic and the poor thing was in so much pain and there was blood all over the place. The only thing we could do for the cat at that point was euthanize her. Normally I don't cry during euthanasias but this one really got to me. I'm not having a good Monday.
Last.fm
Ditto. That was even chronicalled here.
Earlier in the month (maybe it was last month) a young player from my favourite hockey team died in a car accident. It was very strange and it took me a few days to get over it. I had watched the kid develop for a few years.
I was quite depressed when a friend and I decided that we should stop talking because our relationship was extremely self-destructive. We're talking again now.
I'll be very sad when the family dog dies. Not to say he's old now but I love the little guy. It's like I got reincarnated but the dude in charge of that didn't realize I was still alive.
McChuck wrote:
I am sad because my wife and the younger kid just left on a 1-month tour to see her extended family yesterday... And in 1 week, my older son leaves too (we and our friends in France are hosting each others' kids over for this summer). When I stay without them, I feel really depressed and lonely.
And some stuff always happens when I stay alone and my guardian angel Hedgehog isn't by my side. The worst kind was ~9 years ago, when I was skating and got pwnd by a van that ran a red light. The best (if you can say so) was ~4 years ago, I think, when I pwnd myself by falling out of a tree with a running chainsaw.
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I've never been a happy child so I'm often quite depressed. It isn't that bad but the next episode will come, of that I am sure. I can only echo what nsmike and lethial said. There are always these nagging doubts about whether it is worth it. I'm currently trying to treat myself by turning cynical / stoic. I try to not let anything affect me emotionally. It doesn't work that well, especially when it's about women.
The worst episode in my life was during military service. I think it almost destroyed my psyche. I didn't even complain but my sadness was plain to see. Everybody knew there was something wrong with me, although I was trying to hide it. My mother apparently noticed how much I suffered and therefore she was very sad, too, which only made it worse since I started feeling guilty. I'm so glad I was discharged after two months.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"I'd say I was joining the winning team, but that'd imply there existed a time when I wasn't on team evil."
I swear, if I could cut my brain out of my head. Here I am with no girlfriend now. And trust me when I say I don't do "alone" very well. Anyway I fall asleep and have the most vivid dream I can remember having. I'm with this beautiful woman and there are 2 kids (my 2 kids are pretty much grown) and we are just having a wonderful day. I had just uttered the words "I think we should get married right away..." and I wake up. Talk about a pisser. And of course I remember the dream perfectly so I'm reminded of what I had in the dream versus what I don't have in real life.
Probably the day I found out a childhood friend of mine died in a motorcycle crash. I didn't go to the funeral since I didn't have the willpower to, but they said they had to do a closed casket ceremony.
Yet even then we ran like the wind,
whilst our laughter echoed under cerulean skies...
My divorce from my first wife.
My separation from my current wife.
My divorce from my current wife come July, mainly because my 6 year old son has been asking questions like "Why don't we live together anymore?", thankfully my 2 year old won't remember most of this.
Quintin_Stone wrote:
lunabean wrote:January 23rd, 2000.
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The Fall of 1995. We lost our 3rd child at approximately 15 weeks due to the umbilical cord getting wrapped around his neck. A miserable induced delivery followed shortly after.
I could list a few things, but one of the things that happened two years ago and still hurts like hell - finding out that you're nothing more than a tool to a friend you've loved like a brother. A kid I've known since he was thirteen, Mark, was like family. I took care of him, helped get him out of trouble, and was constantly encouraging him and telling him I loved him. As he got older, he got into drugs. I've lost a lot of friends to substance abuse. At first, I didn't care, because I had a 'hippy' attitude about them. "Nobody gets hurt..." "It's no big deal"... but when those deaths started rolling in, and I began studying addiction, I ached over it. I tried not to lecture Mark, but I did ask him to keep from dealing, if he was determined to keep using.
I was going through a horrible period in my life. I was bitterly depressed and was just starting intense therapy. Mark hadn't been around at all. A mutual friend told me he'd been in Columbia, dealing drugs. In my heartache, I told that friend that I couldn't deal with it, and not to give out my new number to him. It was pretty chickens--t of me, I know. A year later, a doctor and surgeon were telling me they were convinced that I had breast cancer, and they needed to do a lumpectomy. The mutual friend suggested I call Mark and tell him. It was a terrible mistake.
At first, he seemed genuinely concerned, though he kept wanting to bring up the drugs issue. Two weeks after my surgery, they determined I wasn't malignant - and while I was still healing, Mark told me to meet him for lunch. Once we sat down, he went off like a bomb. He made it perfectly clear that he despised me, and that I had a lot of nerve to 'not be there for him' when he needed me. After all, I was his minister and shrink, all in one, and I had betrayed him by refusing to be there for him. I was stunned, and then what he was saying 'sunk in'.
It's a pain that will probably take another five years to heal. I loved him for so long, cared so deeply for him. But I was only a tool. Once a tool is broken, there's no use for it, and it's trash. To this day, it was almost the worst loss to drugs I've dealt with.
"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Shaw
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Lost my son's twin sister to anencephaly at 36 hours after birth. We found out around 16-18 weeks iirc so at least we weren't exactly shocked, but I recall one moment where I was holding her and she was gasping for breath and I really thought she was about to die in my arms. I pretty much lost it there. (My son is alive and in great shape
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