You know you've always wanted to see what would happen if you could control a first-person shooter with your penis — or, if you don't have one of your own, the penis of a friend. Maybe you want to literalize the term "c*ck block," or maybe you want to leave the mousing to your special down-there places while your hands roam freely across the keyboard.

*snip*

The new USB fleshlight is basically an input device that can translate your onanistic thrusts into movements of the mouse. Theoretically it could be used to translate thrusts into other things too, like shooting in a game or moving around in a virtual space. You'd just have to write the controllers to do that.