Actually mine is very similar. My son brought home a journal that he'd been keeping in Kindergarten last week. Each day they draw a picture and then do their best to write something about it underneath.

My wife and I opened to one page and saw what appeared, to me, to be a drawing of my pregnant wife with a big round belly and a pony tail. As I spoke the words "Aww what a sweet picture of you with your pregnant belly!" my eyes registered the caption:

"My pig likes to play"

My damned synapses weren't quick enough to stop my mouth. We had a good laugh about it...

I'd start making another omelet, Elysium, or else you're going to have to learn to enjoy staying in that dog house you built.

While i'm just recently enganged it isn't the first time. The first time i basically did it to shut the girl up because i didn't have the balls to tell her i didn't think it'd work. Before it got to that point i almost ended it. In retrospect i kinda wish i had.

It was when the line dancing craze was the biggest thing. Of course here in TN my girlfriend (of 5 years) was into this BIG time. For Christmas that year i thought i was the man when i got her some expensive ropers(boots) and top end cowboy hat. When the normal teasing/prying to find out what we got each started i made one of the biggest mistakes ever. One of the hints i gave her was that one of her presents were round.

Me i was oblivious, and was shocked when she got her presents that she started crying. It wasn't until much later in the day when my mom actually fussed at me for teasing her that i finally got it.

I actually did one of the classic dumb man moves. I'll bet you can guess the ending:

At a Christmas party for folks who worked with my ex-wife. Things are going well, I'm mingling with people I've never met before and then it happens. I spot a glowing woman with a big belly. I say" Congratulations! When is it due?"

Loud room with loud music gets dead silent. I get dead a couple of hours later upomn returning home.

Most pregnant looking woman I've ever seen who was VERY not pregnant.

You expect me to keep track of all of them? Come on, I'm just a man, not a machine.

Also in your defense, it wasn't obvious to me what the mistake was.

Hell of a game, Duoae. If we're talking about a 4-2 drubbing.

Now I am crying too.

We are, we are... Liverpool never fail to duck out of that rollercoaster ride once they get in line.

I just wish they would be on the front row more often.

I walked into this thread trying to avoid the fallout of Arsenal losing and it haunts me!

wheres the nearest bridge.

Not letting her know how much she meant to me.

Edit: So, that was probably the most emo thing I've ever done, so where's that thread where we talk about beer and guns with chainsaws on them...

Ha ha! Zing!

My mate and boss at work are all Liverpool fans. I watched the first leg from a student bar in the 'pool with them and had to watch this one just for continuity's sake. Boy am I glad I did.

[EDIT: Sorry, Trophy. You'll still want to watch the game. Fantastic.]

that had me choking.

that brought me back to earth that you sound way more down then I am and strangely made me feel better.

Asking a girl who was a high school crush to hit the casino with me. I considered it a psuedo date of sorts. She said sure, but I'd have to keep an eye on her. Said she was a gambling addict, and laughed. I laughed, we laughed. I really really thought it was a joke.

So I recently came across her myspace, and sent her a friendly hello. She never responded, and she made her profile private...

Asking her if she was pregnant. Then with a puzzled look on my face when she replied no I say "Really? You sure?"