Try slowly and gradually getting more and more time together. Maybe one or the other moving closer? That way it's not such a sudden shock and a more natural progression.

Amen to that.

Sharing a home with a significant other should not be done if one has any doubts - at all. That said, perhaps a third option? Move to the same city, but not the same home. That way you could test the waters by spending more time together without taking the plunge.

I don't think there's any problem with waiting. My wife and I moved in together after dating for a few months, but then we were in college, had another roommate, no kids, were still pretty much nomads, so the other person wasn't going to change our routine too much. Sounds like you have a life and a routine that you're happy with and that you're worried about upsetting the balance of things. I think that's a fair thing to worry about, honestly. I'm with Edwin. If you had, for example, no particular attachment to the city you're in or your current home, I would consider moving to the same town. That way you get to keep your personal space and see how things go like Edwin said.

Also, just a bit of unsolicited advice. You mentioned separate money and how you liked that. I would just like to encourage you (just my opinion) to keep it that way for a while. My wife and I pooled our money after we'd lived together for 6 months or so. We were pretty serious at that point. 11 years later and deep into marriage we decided we need separate accounts. We still have a joint account. That joint account is where all of our money gets deposited, bill get paid, etc. But we realized that we need our own money and our own freedom to have some spending money without being accountable to the other person. So we give ourselves a disbursement every month to cover food, misc. stuff, video games, triathlon stuff, etc. It's good because we can get each other gifts and that's actually a gift from ME or HER and not a gift from the common pool of money that maybe I unwisely spent. The bills get paid, but there are much much fewer disagreements about money.

Combined with your comment in the other thread, you may intuitively feel that your boyfriend is the suffocative type, in which case the fate of this relationship has already been predetermined within the twisted labyrinths of your subconscious.

I'm deep.

Live together if you want to stop having sex with him.

If he is ok with you living apart like that fine, but be warned if he is ready to move forward and you keep putting the next step off for years, it may cause issues and you may lose him. I'm not saying this will definitely happen but at the same time, look at how frustrating it may be for him to hardly see the person he cares about. It may become depression and that may turn into resentment...

I agree with this. You should definitely do what is right for you, and that seems to be staying put. However, it looks like he's in the live together, get married, make babies stage of his life, and he's looking at you. You should probably give some thought as to where you want to be three years from now. If the answer isn't "married to him", it might be a good idea to take this opportunity to talk about where you both see the relationship going, if it's not a mutual goal, you may want to create distance instead of diminishing it.

Good luck.

Except it's patently not true. My wife and I have WAY more sex now that we're married than before we were married. Granted, we had none before, and lots after, but still.

This is sage advice. Rushing into living together is not a good thing, unless you're sure the relationship is a long, long haul.

As to the question at hand? I say don't move in together till you're married, but I'm old fashioned like that. Ignore the fact that I'm 27.

When hubby and I were still dating, I would occasionally stay over his house for a few days at a time. That's really the best way to discover who he/she truly is without moving in completely. I've come to acknowledge and accept his habits this way as he has done for me.

As in, suffocate one by giving them little space.

Huh. A lot of this information is relevant to me and my relationship. I'm tempted to take notes, and show the better half this thread just to say, "See? See?! I told you I was right!"

That may also end me up in the dog house, so.. meh.

IT sounds like you're not ready to go farther in the relationship. I mean a perfect relationship is where he hates dogs and has no kids and you're the opposite?

And really a 1yr long distance type of relationship compared to a 1 yr in the same town relationship is like human years to dog years.

If you have 2 kids then that means you have to take things even slower imo. Also realize this guy doesn't know anything about the work involved with raising kids. You really have to realize this. And you probably do.

Going from zero kids to two kids isn't as hard as you might think. I did it, and while I'm still figuring a few things out, I do ok.

The last DDT I did was about the crazy S*M girl from Panera, and that was well over a year ago

Besides, this relationship has plenty of strings and stories attached. Do you honestly think that something about a girlfriend would be perfect for me?

We have spent a month together last summer, taken road trips etc. so I know what living with him will be like.

Honestly, him and I are great...I foresee no problems between us...I have no doubts about him, it is the kids that I'm afraid will cause the issue.

Thanks for all the wisdom!