In the doghouse again.
Monday, March 3rd, 2008 - 4:37pm
Last weekend, I let the Fiancee in on the VERY open secret that the only kinds of men interested in the inner workings of wedding preparations are: 1) ministers and 2) homosexuals.
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
Umm...yeah. Absolutely true, but...
Uh oh.
"I have not supped of Buffy, nor have I supped in any wise during the absence of Firefly. When Firefly returns again in glory, then shall I sup at the table of Whedon." - Fedaykin98
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Bad! Bad Paleocon! No!
I wish it were time for Cheers. But it's not. It's time for vengeance!
You know, there are things you don't openly state. Women know it's true, men know it's true, but peace is attained by never ever speaking about it. This would be one of those things.
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Less chatter more splatter!
Good grief. Are you really sure you want to be marrying this woman Paleo? She seems prone to overreaction. And seriously, how can she not know that about men?
"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all."
It's amazing some of the stuff she doesn't seem to get. I joke that she's from North Korea sometimes.
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
So who's handling the inner workings of wedding preparations?
"Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is kind of stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability." - Bill Bailey
Stating the obvious is not always the best thing to do. The best thing is to attend diligently - bring a book - when asked to decide which whatever you like better - get her thoughts choose one you think she likes best and if you are wrong she wont get it anyway. My wife and I have an understanding - decorations, furniture, room colors etc... are her domain I get to pick electronics and do the yard work. I will pick a choice if given, but I know if that isnt the one then she will get what she wanted anyhow, but at least to her I "PARTICIPATED" which is the key word.
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PUBLIUS RENATUS, 390 AD
The gay wedding planner that doubles as a minister.
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Bah, you oversimplified. Don't forget the food caterers, the photographers, the nearby hotel owner, the jewelry shop owners, the florist, the limousine driver, the card shop owner, the tuxedo rental company owners, the dress shop, the bartenders and the wedding band singer / band. Many people are very interested in your wedding planning because they want your wedding green. Usually there is a group of young bachelors looking to flirt the night away on the dance floor, though their motive is of a different nature...
I remember my brother got frustrated with the minister who was going to officiate their wedding. Some kind of pre-marriage interview that he felt got too personal. So he decided to ask a local judge to officiate, who had also been a mentor during his younger sports playing days. It worked out really nice. My brother loves fishing, so if the judge hadnt worked out.... next thing wouldve been a captain.
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Go along to get along...
“Why are we talking about this in the White House? History will not judge this kindly.” Atty Gen'l John Ashcroft, on secret NSC torture guideline discussions.
Ooooh... I'm sorry but that is incorrect.
The correct answer is:
Thanks for playing! And don't forget your consolation prize!
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Just to be clear, I let her know that men (at least straight men) are far more concerned with who to marry than how to marry and that being married is far more important than getting married. I also made it clear that I would go with the program, foot the bill, and do whatever tasks I was asked to do, but that the reason I could not be more passionate about the process is because it is not at all important to me. Truth be told, I'd rather have the cash to spend on finishing a basement or putting a deck on the house.
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
All homosexuals.
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
No inner workings equals no wedding. I'm going to assume that you want to be married at the end of the day, so you may want to grab on to that idea with both hands. You don't have to get excited about tulle vs satin or cream vs eggshell.
Assuming that staying out of the dog house is your goal, you may want to remind her that your goal for the day is to be married at the end of it and that other than that you want her to be happy. Offer to help address invitations or print out maps for brownie points.
Edit: Do NOT include the information that you'd rather spend the money to finish a basement rather than the wedding. The basement comment cost you all positive points from saying your goal was to end up married at the end of the day.
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I'd be interested in the inner workings of the food being selected...
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Are you giving the best man a Kukri as a wedding momento?
Too funny!
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Most of my close friends who have gotten married did so at the courthouse with the receptions held at restaurants or people's houses. They are also pretty good at staying together for the long haul. I guess my crowd tends to be short on ceremony and long on commitment.
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
The proper way to phrase what you were trying to say is "Darling, I know you've been waiting your whole life for this, and I just want it to be exactly what you've dreamed of."
- Legion, taking "keeping it in the family" to a whole new level.
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Quote:
- Legion, taking "keeping it in the family" to a whole new level.
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But that could also be taken as you not caring about one of the most important days of both your lives. Might wanna pretend to be interested at least.
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Sure, you may laugh now, but you won't be laughing when things go all Shiri on you.
"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all."
Fixed
LiquidMantis wrote:
She had to find out sometime. I'm with you on the direct approach. I suggest leaving it up to her, and saying you're going to veto only the stuff that makes you personally look like an idiot like what you were and what you have to say.
Five bucks Paleocon is up there crying with joy and the emotion of the moment, as he looks into his new wife's eyes, slides the ring on her finger, and is transformed from bachelor to husband.
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She ain't touching my fishtank.
She knows I'll write the check and that I won't do anything humiliating.
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
I would expect you, of all people, to know how realpolitik works.
Don't even get me started on the rings. She asked me what I wanted for my ring and I said that I just wanted a plain black iron one. She, of course, vetoed this to which I wondered aloud why she bothered asking me.
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
Although that is very logical, and also vaguely supportive... women like to know that you care about the things that they care about. And this is something she has cared about since she was old enough to know that little girls get married and become princesses. Feigning just the slightest bit of interest really will go a long way.
Want a good way to bring an olive branch? Find a subject of wedding planning (the cake, the dress, the colors... whatever) that you two haven't discussed much or argued over yet and ask her if she has thought much about it yet. It not only shows that you do know something about the subject, but it also shows you are at least willing to pretend to care and listen. That is probably all she is looking for. Then, give her a few minutes every so often (and a lot of minutes every once in a great while) to talk your ear off about it. The time you "waste" listening will be a lot better than the way you feel when you have all the time in the world to yourself but have a wife/So who is resentful because you couldn't even pretend to be interested.
Also keep in mind that this isn't like gaming. Gaming is something you do because you like it. This is something that she is doing not only because of her childhood dreams, but it is something that is supposed to be about your relationship. Even if it seems like it is the only thing she wants to do or talk about, it is a really stressful thing to do on your own.
"I can't knife you right now. I have a chair and some pants."
Paleo, you had a valid point. It's not fair for her to expect you to be as methodical as her. After all, she's probably been planning this since she could say wedding. And telling the truth is always the best way to go with any couple old or new.
However, had you smiled, given an opinion you know she agrees with, and kept it up throught the entire engagement, you could have asked for anal on the wedding night. Pick your battles.
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As a Comedian I saw on TV recently put it:
Women don't want to know what men think, they want their ideas repeated back to them in a deeper voice.
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