What about an active hobby that you enjoy that requires socialization. I could suggest a bunch of hobbies, but I recommend one you can get involved in and have a common ground with other people. In Austin Mountain Biking is really common hobby. I've met some pretty cool people doing RC Cars. Also we have good independent film group in Austin lots of potential here for that. My point is some cities are better for certain hobbies, and have a community that you could try to get involved in.

Wow.

I lived in Seattle's U District myself for two years and worked on the East Side, so I think I can speak with some authority about the subject. Actually, I technically lived in Ravena, but it was just a short (uphill) walk to the U-District.

I never really experienced what you call the Seattle Freeze. Coming from the DC Area, I found that folks in Seattle were remarkably warm in comparison. Folks seemed a lot less concerned about the color of your skin than they seem to be around here at least -- especially when it came to dating. I wish I could be out there now.

I guess my best advice would be to find group activities centered around things you like to do anyway. I'm an avid outdoorsman, cyclist, climber, runner, martial artist, and general fitness freak, so finding folks to hang with was pretty easy. If you're interested in a good Kung Fu class, I know one that works out at UW. The guys there are nice.

Also, look into the First Tuesdays (?). That's when the galleries downtown do the free gallery walks. Some of the folks are all kinds of conceited, but there are always some folks like that in any crowd. Seattle has a pretty sophisticated art scene. Take advantage of it.

Elliott Bay Bookstore and others do authors' signings and speeches. Especially during this time of year, it is a lot of fun. Get a part time job as a gift wrapper at Elliott Bay and you'll have the time of your life. It's not much dough, but the convos you'll have with overeducated and slightly disgruntled folks are always fun.

I would toss a party on the Sunday closest the Full Moon every month in which guests were invited to bring works of art, musical instruments, spoken word pieces, food, or whatever. It being Seattle, there was always a lot of whatever. I found that calling it a shared art event kept the kegger types away.

Finally, force yourself to do stuff with the friends you do make. One thing I found about folks in Seattle is that they grow pretty easily bored with folks they have to drag out or drag around. I know I became that way. If you need to be asked to do stuff more than twice, you're probably not going out a lot.

edit: the volunteering thing is also a great idea. I spent a lot of time working with the kids at the Chinese Information and Service Center as well as teaching ESL for the Seattle City Schools. Met some really neat people that way.

You mean the virtual GWJer community isn't cutting it anymore? Harumpf.

Into the outdoors? Join the Mountaineers and check out some of their activities. Don't be frightened by the name, they do everything from easy strolls to avalanche instructional courses.

Sweet! Time to take the speedos out of retirement.

1. Make a list of all your hobbies.
2. Find a local club for each hobby.
3. Profit!

There are clubs/groups for everything from homebrewing to scrapbooking and each one of them will put you in contact with people outside of your current circles.

I'll echo the comment for team sports. Kickball is popular in the DC area. I had a good time and apparently it's popular in a lot of major cities. Not much of a winter sport though.

Besides that, I don't have much advice. I can totally relate and I'm going through much the same thing myself, so I guess I can commisserate.
Gaming, despite it becoming easier than ever to play online, is still a mainly solo activity. What I do share, I share with you guys or my old roommate. I had one local friend who was into games, and when something else takes up their time or they're not interested by the game/genre, it's never worth forcing the issue.

Commuting isn't much fun. Thankfully there are two good handheld consoles and plenty of good podcasts to listen to. Even so, commuting takes a fair amount of time and you're that much more tired when you finally get home from work.

I'm 25. When I moved to the DC area ~2 years ago, the bars and happy hour were fun. It's not part of my routine anymore though, and I don't miss it. Alcoholism is not an activity, despite what may have been taught in college.

Taking a class can help. It met a handful of people that way and got a few phone numbers without any real effort - it's bewildering how it can be so effortless in some situations yet a frustration in many others.

I'm looking at volunteering next. I wish the EFF had an organization out here - I would join up in a heartbeat but they're mainly based in San Francisco. The short of it seems to be that you have to be ready to put a few nights a week towards doing an activity you may not be comfortable with and working towards meeting new people. One of the troubles with gaming is that it's a great backup plan, and sometimes it's a great primary. I have to watch out for when it becomes too easy an excuse to slip into. For example, last week I caught myself with a few hours to kill before meeting up with a friend I rarely see. It was tempting to just go home - I know I could have fired up something (TF2 or Rock Band, likely) and found people to play with. I had to mentally shake myself. The evening was something of a bust anyways but sometimes you just need to make the effort.

What else? Show people you're enthusiastic. If you're new to a group or activity, the veterans will quickly know. If you're reclusive or overly shy, it makes you harder to approach. If you're curious, you give them a chance to teach or explain. And if there are other newcomers your enthusiasm or openness can break the ice for them.

Finally, I'll say I'm glad you like Seattle. In my case, I think I've mentally moved on from DC. At the end of the summer my roommate/best friend left to work elsewhere and the relationship I'd been in ended after five months. It took a while to figure it out (and a vacation to Austin) but I realized that I don't feel connected to or have a particular fondness for DC. I think I'll end up moving - I had a good time for a while but I haven't set down roots, so I think I'll try again elsewhere.

I second volunteering. It's a good way to meet people, and do some good in the process.

When you're in the stall, tap your foot.

I'll echo the plan of pursuing the hobbies you enjoy. After I got out of High-School all of my local friends scattered to various colleges or out of town jobs. I was pretty much the only member of my social circle to stay local. I got to know people I worked with, but no real close friends. I chatted with people I met at the bookstores and game shops and tried to network a bit. I ended up joining an established local D&D group and met some great people who knew other great people and so on. Things began to snowball and now I know a lot more great people in my area. I didn't go out and specifically look for new friends, I just did stuff I enjoyed and met other people who enjoyed the same things.

Ah, after re-reading your original post I see one of your goals in building a social circle is dating. Can't really help you there buddy, I ruined the curve for all my gamer buddies. I met my wife through a girlfriend of a friend of a friend. Her sister was dating a friend of my friend who happened to have joined my D&D group and asked if her sister could drop by sometime to learn how to play. My future wife showed up on my doorstep with a Players Handbook in one hand and a dice bag in the other .

Yeah, my only advice is to do the things you love and not try so hard. You will meet people in time. I met all of my greatest friends pretty much by accident and if I hadn't run into them while pursuing a hobby or interest I probably would have never spoken to them at all. Cool people are hiding all over the place. If you enjoy sports, local teams/leagues are always a good way to meet like-minded people. Or, if you enjoy drinking I guess there is always the bar/club scene. Drinking was never an option for me so you will have to ask some of these other folks around here for advice on that

I am in the same predicament.

The problem with "join various activities" advice is that one shouldn't join activities that they aren't actually interested in. That just never works. You don't look feel or look good when you're not enjoying what you do, and your ulterior motives become rather obvious.

Then, what if your activities don't lend themselves well to socializing ? Martial arts schools are neither a good social nor dating scene. They are, primarily, martial art schools. You develop some rapport with other practitioners over the years, but other than that, you don't necessarily have much in common.

What if you don't like bars or nightclubs and are looking for people who don't like them, either ? Where do you find such people ? I don't know.

Craigslist is full of loons. My only glimmer of hope at this point is MeetUp.com, where I look for people with similar political beliefs, Myers-Briggs personality types, and whatever else I can come up with.

EDIT: I just found this. Yes, MeetUp is really the only way.

Not to mention as long as you have a few awesome friends making some new ones isn't worth the effort to go out of your way to do. If it happens then awesome, but I'm not going to put a ton of energy into it.

One neat service that I think would be perfect for you is Meetup.com. It's not a dating site, it's all about finding groups with similar interests and meeting up somewhere neutral to chat. Might be worth a try! Even better, you could find a gaming-related meetup and then write an article about it. Because it all comes back to GWJ.

I heard about this on the latest Radio Lab, which was a rerun from a few years ago.

If you volunteer, find a specific program with a specific angle to it. I hope that my experience is specific to me, but a lot of people I meet in general volunteer programs aren't necessarily people I want a social life with.

Play ultimate. Good team game, easy to get into.

That was new to me, so I went to check it out. I haven't played Starfleet Battles in years, but I think I need to do this, just to say I have.

and whats your excuse for not coming to the Chicago S&Ts?

Back on topic, the key is really meeting one person you can get to be friends with. I'm a friend leech. You become friends with one person and then you slowly ooze your way into the rest of the friend group (assuming you actually like said person's friend group) after a while, people start to think of you as part of the friend group not just Person A's friend.