Zero Punctuation: Orange Box

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ranalin's picture
Location: Knoxville, TN

Totally classic and he sums up my thoughts about Portal at the very end perfectly.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation...

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danecy's picture
Location: SF Bay Area

Wow. That was a bit of a surprise. I need to get Portal now.

Edit: Also of note, one of the least funny reviews he's done.

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Axon's picture

I dunno, I laughed out loud at the Portal section but some of that requires you to have completed Portal to "get". And do get Portal, its can be run through in 2-3hours but you will want to experience it as mush as possible.

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SeriesParallel's picture
Location: In ur Portal eatin ur cake.

Damn, lol. I never expected to here V give a game review...

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pneuman's picture
Location: Melbourne, Australia

I was already really looking forward to picking up Portal, but this has made me want it even more. Unfortunately for me, The Orange Box just got delayed in Australia -- it was due today but it's now been pushed back a week. It's almost enough to make me boot my PC in to Windows and buy Portal on Steam, but I'd much rather play it on the 360.

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Vector's picture
Location: The Wet Coast

I JUST watched this. His review of portal is probably the best thing he's done.

Elysium wrote:

Personally, I like the guy who appears to be pushing the toddler toward the bat.

Danjo wrote:
I'm partial to that Derek Smart looking f*cker who approves of the situation smugly.

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SeriesParallel's picture
Location: In ur Portal eatin ur cake.

Quote:
It's almost enough to make me boot my PC in to Windows and buy Portal on Steam, but I'd much rather play it on the 360.

I dunno, there are a number of spots in the advanced levels and challenge modes in Portal where I'm not sure anything but the pixel-aiming of a mouse'll cut it. Anyway it's what? 22 AUD on Steam? Not bad for something that good.

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pneuman's picture
Location: Melbourne, Australia

SeriesParallel wrote:

I dunno, there are a number of spots in the advanced levels and challenge modes in Portal where I'm not sure anything but the pixel-aiming of a mouse'll cut it. Anyway it's what? 22 AUD on Steam? Not bad for something that good.

I'd still want to buy Orange Box on 360 though, so I can play all the HL2 games (I haven't played any of them yet) from the comfort of my lounge, so it'd be $22 or so wasted. Still... it's tempting

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polypusher's picture
Location: L.A.

I hate to promote something solely on the potential of downloads/mods but since the rest of the game is so great, it's not so hard to do so. Some masterful map designers -should- be emerging slowly to give PC owners some killer bang for the buck.

Its not a promise, but it happens with every other Valve released Source game (Stalker and Dark Messiah, not so much)

I've played Portal on both PC and 360 and I really enjoyed it both ways. PC because it came first. 360 because it was still fun and it looked so nice on a big screen.

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SeriesParallel's picture
Location: In ur Portal eatin ur cake.

"I hate to promote something solely on the potential of downloads/mods but since the rest of the game is so great, it's not so hard to do so. Some masterful map designers -should- be emerging slowly to give PC owners some killer bang for the buck."

Learning the ropes for my own Portal maps as we speak Hopefully some of the more hardcore modders'll start adding content soon.

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Quintin_Stone's picture
Location: Cary, NC

Orange Box is on its way to me. I think I'll wait to watch the review until after I've played some.

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Good lord, I wouldn't have expected brilliance like that from that nemeslut Quintin Stone!

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Mystic Violet's picture
Location: IM IN UR FORUMZ, SPAMMIN UR THREADZ

What he said about snipers had me rolling. So true.

And now I cannot wait to get the Orange Box. I really want to play Portal. *sigh*

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*Legion*'s picture
Location: Monterey

Some people still haven't bought the Orange Box? For shame!

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PseudoKnight's picture
Location: Portland, OR

Seriously. TF2 has been out for a month now. Not so seriously. It's orange! How can you resist?!

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DSGamer's picture
Location: Pacific Northwest

I bought this game solely for Portal. Everything else is gravy.

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AnimeJ's picture
Location: The skies of Norkia

Am I the only one who listened to his thoughts on Portal and thought almost immediately of rabbit?

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Uberstein's picture
Location: Ft. Myers, FL

If I were to vote in a poll, I'd name Portal (all 3-4 hours of it) GOTY.

Hands Down. It's just that good a game, brevity aside.

It's seriously the first game in a long time (since Max Payne 2, actually) to move me and give me chills watching the ending.

I understand it didn't do that for everyone, but for me, Portal is the best game to be released this year so far.

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DFKQ's picture
Location: Edmonton

Yeah I'd probably go with Portal for game of the year at this point. It's funny that you mention Max Payne 2, as I was just thinking about that game today. A very short game, I think it took me 5-6 hours the first time through and I beat it again a couple times in maybe 4. I feel it didn't get a fair shake because of it's length. Just like Portal (and Episodes 1 and 2 for that matter) Max Payne 2 has pretty much nothing in the way of filler and is entertaining and well paced from start to finish. In other words it was just the right length for what it was and never became tedious.

It's great that people appreciate Portal so much, length be damned.

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Scaphism's picture

Re: Game of the Year consideration
I think Portal definitely deserves to be in the conversation.
Here's why I don't think it would get the nod from most official sources though: As someone who used to buy only four or five games per year, the value proposition of each game changes. You tend to value games with long length or replayability more than awesome short story games, or even excellent 6-8 hour games.

Oblivion, Final Fantasy, GTA, even Madden all share that in common. And I'd wager that for a large portion of the group that only buys a few games per year, one of those games is on their short list.

Once you start buying/renting/playing 10/12/15/20+ games per year the value of each individual game changes. Sticking out from the crowd matters more, and having a sharply defined experience matters more too.
When you're doing "Best of" lists there's a strong incentive to appeal to the greatest number of people possible - it's essentially a popularity contest. One of the easiest ways to do that is to pick a game that people are more likely to have played and gotten attached to.

That, and people with no patience or curiosity can run through Portal and be completely oblivious, not making it to the "real ending", barely listening to GLaDos and not discovering the extra rooms.

I still think Portal deserves to be in the GOTY conversation but I'm not convinced the GWJ demographic is representative of the greater gaming public on this one. It shouldn't change the community opinion around here but I thought I'd share why I think it would be a victory for Portal to get serious consideration, but don't think the "actual award" is likely. (Unless you're talking about a GWJ-only GOTY award.)

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Oso's picture
Location: GV1469

Too early yet to really talk about GOTY, there are some releases still pending. That aside, I'm torn between Portal and Bioshock. However, when I consider that I purchased the Orange Box for TF2, which is a candidate for GOTY, got Peggle Extreme w/ it (Peggle is a candiate), it comes w/ HL2:E2, which I haven't played yet but is a sequal to a previous GOTY, I think we can do an end-run around the Bioshock vs. Portal conversation by giving GOTY to the Orange Box. (Halo 3 fans and those waiting for Mass Effect lose out, but I'm not sorry.)

We all know that there is no quicker way to empty a joke of its peculiar magic than to try to explain it -- to point out, for example, that Lou Costello is mistaking the proper name "Who" for the interrogative pronoun "who," etc. - D.F.Wallace

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Axon's picture

Well the problem with Bioshock is clearly illustrated in Yahtzee's review of it. While it is a good game and quite charming in places its a rehashing of System Shock 2 down to the plot twists. While not a terrible thing to do, when you compare, you're left with the conclusion that Portal deserves the title for presenting something genuinely new and fresh.

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DSGamer wrote:
I bought this game solely for Portal. Everything else is gravy.

I have the Orange Box coming in the mail and I'm most interested in Portal as well. I was one of the many (shown by a Valve survey) that never finished episode one. For some reason It never captivated me. I'm hoping that this will motivate me to give it a second go. I'm intrigued by TF2 with all the positive talk that has been going around.

Oso wrote:
Too early yet to really talk about GOTY, there are some releases still pending.

Oso wrote:
I think we can do an end-run around the Bioshock vs. Portal conversation by giving GOTY to the Orange Box. (Halo 3 fans and those waiting for Mass Effect lose out, but I'm not sorry.)

Sounds a little contradictory to me.

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wordsmythe's picture
Location: Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on job

SeriesParallel wrote:
Damn, lol. I never expected to here V give a game review...

....What?

rabbit wrote:

Wordsmythe is my hero.

1Dgaf wrote:
Then again, it's easy to be funny online.

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SeriesParallel's picture
Location: In ur Portal eatin ur cake.

wordsmythe wrote:
SeriesParallel wrote:
Damn, lol. I never expected to here V give a game review...

....What?

Sorry, I suppose I should have clarified. The first time I heard the reviewer's voice it reminded me of V's opening monologue from "V for Vendetta".

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wordsmythe's picture
Location: Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on job

Thanks for the clarification. I wasn't sure if I was just getting caught on the grammar or if there was a reference I wasn't understanding.

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1Dgaf wrote:
Then again, it's easy to be funny online.

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Oso's picture
Location: GV1469

EvilDead wrote:
Sounds a little contradictory to me.

Heh, that is like saying someone is "a little pregnant". I fully, completely, and unreseveredly contradicted myself.

Of course, I've never been one to let something as flimsy as logic or a valid reason keep me from doing what I want, but your point is very well taken that I should have added a cheeky "but I'm going to anyway". It *IS* too early to give out GOTY awards. Before the Orange Box I was ready to give it to Bioshock. Now Portal is the new shiney. It is quite possible that UT3 or something out of the blue will one up Valve & Irrational, if that happens I'll change my mind and contradict myself again. Until then I'm on the Orange-Box-Bandwagon with hyperbole in full overdrive!!!

We all know that there is no quicker way to empty a joke of its peculiar magic than to try to explain it -- to point out, for example, that Lou Costello is mistaking the proper name "Who" for the interrogative pronoun "who," etc. - D.F.Wallace

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Point taken, and fair enough.

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subaltern's picture
Location: California

I enjoyed Portal so much so, that I played it twice. While Portal is great and all, I think Episode 2 stood out the most. I've been a huge fan of Half-Life since the original was released back in '98 so I'm slightly biased. Contrary to popular belief, I thought Valve did a great job continuing the story while keeping things fresh. Portal is still one of the best games of the year either way.

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Mordiceius's picture
Location: The place with men in white coats

subaltern wrote:
I enjoyed Portal so much so, that I played it twice. While Portal is great and all, I think Episode 2 stood out the most. I've been a huge fan of Half-Life since the original was released back in '98 so I'm slightly biased. Contrary to popular belief, I thought Valve did a great job continuing the story while keeping things fresh. Portal is still one of the best games of the year either way.

That's my thoughts.

I'm not really a girl. I just play one in video games.

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AnimeJ's picture
Location: The skies of Norkia

Mordiceius wrote:
subaltern wrote:
I enjoyed Portal so much so, that I played it twice. While Portal is great and all, I think Episode 2 stood out the most. I've been a huge fan of Half-Life since the original was released back in '98 so I'm slightly biased. Contrary to popular belief, I thought Valve did a great job continuing the story while keeping things fresh. Portal is still one of the best games of the year either way.

That's my thoughts.

Then why are you quoting Portal, and not Ep2 in your sig?

wordsmythe wrote:

I love Dick

Podunk on Jessica Alba wrote:

I would hit it like the Fist of an Angry God.

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Mordiceius's picture
Location: The place with men in white coats

AnimeJ wrote:
Mordiceius wrote:
subaltern wrote:
I enjoyed Portal so much so, that I played it twice. While Portal is great and all, I think Episode 2 stood out the most. I've been a huge fan of Half-Life since the original was released back in '98 so I'm slightly biased. Contrary to popular belief, I thought Valve did a great job continuing the story while keeping things fresh. Portal is still one of the best games of the year either way.

That's my thoughts.

Then why are you quoting Portal, and not Ep2 in your sig?

Because portal has many phrases that are very easy to quote out of context. HL2 EP2 does not.

I'm not really a girl. I just play one in video games.