Fact is, I can't sort out which of your threads are about this particular psycho and which are about the rest.

They aren't all psycho's?

I know what it's like to be in your situation. A while back I was really into this girl and as far as I knew, she equally into me. After months of spending time with her and getting to know her I told her I wanted to get serious. She told me she wasn't ready for another relationship so soon after her last, which I understood and respected. A few weeks later I found out she was seeing someone which hit me hard. While she isn't getting married, long story short, it still sucks.

They're all psycho... you just have to find the one that is just as psycho as you are. Take your time... there is no rush. And those that do usually end up finding they made a mistake (trust me... past experience).

PAR

WOOOOOOOOOO DDT'S ARE BACK!!!

Tips:

Never have serious conversations with people you love/d on IM. That kind of thing is better face-to-face or at least over the phone, so you can hear the inflection in his/her voice and you don't wait five minutes for a reply.

You won't be a jerk for staying away from the wedding. I can't remember if this break up was amicable or not, but you don't owe this woman anything. You shared a part of your life with her. That part has now ended. If going to her wedding will make you feel bad, then don't.

Wait until you find out your exes have started to breed.

Just skimmed the various threads and wow, that's quite a history between the two of you. Sadly it seems that most of it is after the end of the romantic period. It's time to move on and this is the perfect opportunity. Say congratulations, get her a suitable wedding present but do not go to the wedding. Most of us have at least one horror story when it comes to relationships and all will tell you that the best part was when they finally cut all ties.

If you do stay in touch guess who she'll run to when the marriage invariably hits a rocky patch. You'll end up back inside the vicious circle. Say goodbye and good luck and be done with it.

The title of this thread is going to bite you in the ass, Demos, when she gets divorced in two years and comes to you for a rebound. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Especially the psycho ones. *shudders*

No, I mean the ones you know for a fact are taking anti-psychotic medication.

If she invites you, send her a gift for congratulations but do not attend the wedding. She is probably doing it to be kind and wants you to know what is happening in her life but I really doubt she wants to see ex's when walking down the isle.

Edit: Really quite of immature of her to make you say "so you are getting married?" after mentioning bridesmaids. Bizzaro passive-aggresive. Maybe skip the gift too that isn't sort of rational friend/adult behavior.

That's just my 2 cents everyone is different I suppose.

And totally agree it is a weird feeling......found out that my ex from college whom i spent the most time with ended up marrying a girl whom he met in the same way he met me. It was sort of creepy. Made me jealous for about 5 minutes.... and then i remember why we broke up and whatever, she can have him! heh.

Why are people suggesting he buy her a present?

The relationship sounds like it was a disaster, she sounds like a user and she's marrying someone else, after having him used him as an emotional punching bag.

Why the f*ck would he buy her a present? Jesus Christ, better advice would be 'Don't feel you need to go to the wedding, piss in the punch and add your own ingredient to the chocolate cake'.

I love it when 1D flips from one extreme to the other. It amuses me greatly.

Just for ettiquette. For whatever reason he is still talking to her. In order to say "I really hope you have a great life" just give a small gift, *if* she gives you a formal invitation. No formal invitation, then let it be. Mentioning the wedding again on IM is not invitation. I'm talking it was mailed, addressed to you, with an RSVP with stamped envelope, etc.

The difference between giving a small gesture and not doing it can say a lot. Its not about money, you don't have to spend alot. Its just not being the bitter ex sitting around waiting for her. Sadly life is about impressions at times.

Tho this sort of thing, the small gesture gift, I would definately suggest for adult-behaviour in breakups. The whole "maybe"? answer when he is passive-aggresively forced to ask if she is getting married warrants less of a gift and more just removing her from you IM list and cell phone. So maybe my suggestion isn't tailored enough for this situation where she is not acting like a lady who is getting married but a girl looking for a date to the movies.