ack! It's scary being an intern.
Monday, February 3rd, 2003 - 4:33am
Well, i stumbled into Elysiums office one night over the weekend and started shuffling through the papers on his desk.
Well, he walked in just as I was reading his plans to take over the internet and force everyone to hail him as "King of the Internet" and how he was going to force Certis into the underground and limit him only to BBS'.
So I was promptly fired, account deleted, everything! But I've hacked my way back into their system, and now must start anew!
You may stop me, but you'll never stop me all!
Xbox Live : cuebertt
Certis wrote:
I want you to have less friends and more, distant, chilly acquaintances.
MY GOD MAN, you have simply GOT to share your pot with the group!!
I knew there was something wrong with that Elysium guy. I just knew it!
Xbox Live: MrGreen
PSN: MrGreenPSN
Wii: 4859 2... oh f*ck it.
Soo, what will you do, set fire to his cubicle? *I mean office on the top floor :oops:*
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt... me! - Brick Top
Writing names down on my little black list. I know you''re all against me. All of you!
"I think Elysium has the right of it" - Certis
Ha! As we rise the ranks we grow stronger and stronger! That is, unless you put us all back on Mailboy status (or even worse, Q&A testing).
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt... me! - Brick Top
ehh! eehhhhhh!!!
<=---- Title!!
<=---- Post count!!
See what happens when you get too close to the truth?!
Xbox Live : cuebertt
Certis wrote:
There, that title is much more better. Yes, more better...
Certis beat me to it. - Elysium
What makes his pants better than ours?
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
wooHoo! I gots me some fancy pants!
lookout! i''m coming through!
Xbox Live : cuebertt
Certis wrote:
Face it, RatBoy, that Cuebert develops pants that are at least 3 or 4 times fancier than thou. I don''t know if it''s the hidden cargo pockets for the GBA SP, or all the sequin and tassles, but when I think of Cuebert, I think of fancy pants.
"If you're not a stinky-stink, you're not addicted to anything!" - Reaper
but really now... who doesn''t?
Xbox Live : cuebertt
Certis wrote:
Lies! Everyone knows developers don''t wear pants.
"Anakin, as embodied by [Hayden] Christensen, is the kind of needlessly moody kid you might see getting punched out in a Dairy Queen parking lot."
"”Paul Tatara on SW:Episode II
EL presidente may try to cut us interns down (poor poor Cuebert!) but one day this banana republic will be ruled democratically by the poor undertrodden whipping boys (us interns!) Viva la revolution!
MUST...STOP ...PLAYING ....SWG! MUST GET REAL LIFE BACK AGAIN!
Banana Republic does have fancy pants. I think you may be on to something here.
"If you're not a stinky-stink, you're not addicted to anything!" - Reaper
You know what kills me about being a Mail Boy? The mystery. Why does Certis wear a Keyser WWI helmet everywhere? Why does Elysium need all that goats blood. Why does Cuebert wear Soviet flag boxers? How did I find that out?
Like the other day, I say Elysium go into this room marked ""BROOM CLOSET, CERTAINLY NOT EVIL"" and began to make horrible noises for hours on end. I started to wonder, what if hes got some young sweaty Philipino boy in there that he uses for oral sex? You know, like the one in his office. So after 3 hours of waiting instead of delivering Mail, Elysium leaves. I thought to myself ""Nows my chance to use ... er save that poor boy"". So I sneak in while Elysium was distracted by that giant lava lamp in the lobby (don''t even get me started on that, occasionally I see human skulls floating in there). And what do I find in that closet? Theres no young firm buttocks anywhere to be found, instead just a bunch of candles and an altar to Satan. Like Elysium is so special he needs his own altar. Why can''t he use the coffee room altar like everybody else? I swear, Im gonna go crazy working here!
"Poor Eli Nooo... *child starts crying*"
"Come on now, there's no need to make that kind of noise. It sounds awful and you'll upset other people." - Ionae from Spirit Engine 2
Hope he keeps wearing the common mans communist boxers and not these new bourgouise Fancy pants the CEO''s are trying to bribe him with!
MUST...STOP ...PLAYING ....SWG! MUST GET REAL LIFE BACK AGAIN!
As one of Cueberts co-workers I''ll let you in on the secret....
Its the rinestones.... Thousands of them. The guy can''t walk infront of a window on a sunny day without blinding at least 4 people.
I'm not saying anything... I'm just saying
Because Cuebert spilled coffee on my handcrafted Alpaca Ouija board, and I''m pretty sure Kegboy is using the hot candle wax for things better left unspoken. Besides, every time I summon Satan to the break room he''s always ""Get me a Krispy Kreme, maggot slave"" and ""you call this hot coffee, fecal worm?"". I can''t get a word in edgewise for a good ten minutes while he waits for his hot pocket to warm in the microwave. It''s just a matter of efficiency.
- Elysium
"I think Elysium has the right of it" - Certis
I''m using it for my voodoo wax effigy of Elysium, now pass the hot pins and needles!
Mind you with all the flames and hot coals and general Hellish motif it''s hard to get the wax to stay solid for long
Don''t call poor Certis names; Its not Satan, it''s the Dark Overlord!
MUST...STOP ...PLAYING ....SWG! MUST GET REAL LIFE BACK AGAIN!
Oh sure, always blaming me... like the time you found your car on fire... pffft... just because I had a gas can and a lighter in my hands, watching the fire, does not mean I did it.
I don''t think drugging me and ""replacing my pants"" really falls under the ""bribe"" category... more like some sort of harassment.
Yes... how did you find that out? oh wait.. I remember now, I was pretty drunk, but you..... umm... nevermind.
Xbox Live : cuebertt
Certis wrote:
Those pants needed to be replaced though, you know GWJ''s bland massproduced outerparty crap can''t compete with the Indian kid-knitted fashion products us innerparty people tend to wear.
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt... me! - Brick Top
You interns and your decadent lifestyle. You have forgotten the simple joys of being a mail boy. Tou have forgotten the fulfillment working deep in the hidden sequin mines beneath Elysium''s secret lair brings. You have erased the bitter disappointment you felt when someone else was chosen to immolate themselves to fuel Certis'' dark powers and not you. You no longer know the joys of fighting with the other mail boys for the crumbs of food that fall from the table in the great feasting hall.
Plus, you get to read all of Elysium''s porn magazines before he.....I''ve said to much.
"Anakin, as embodied by [Hayden] Christensen, is the kind of needlessly moody kid you might see getting punched out in a Dairy Queen parking lot."
"”Paul Tatara on SW:Episode II
Soon Kreigshund you will be one of us!, join the dark side you know it''s the only way! You think our lifestyles are decadent wait until you see Elysium and Certis''s inner sanctum!
MUST...STOP ...PLAYING ....SWG! MUST GET REAL LIFE BACK AGAIN!
Actually, I have seen it. I believe Better Lairs and Sanctums had a story about it in their latest issue.
"Anakin, as embodied by [Hayden] Christensen, is the kind of needlessly moody kid you might see getting punched out in a Dairy Queen parking lot."
"”Paul Tatara on SW:Episode II
Just be careful Kriegshund, I found a book titled ""101 ways to cook an Intern"".
Now I''m not completely sure on what it means, but it may have to do with a catapult...
Xbox Live : cuebertt
Certis wrote:
You mean the december issue with Osama''s new batcave or the january one with Saddam''s underground missile complex? Lairs and Sanctums is sooo cool, especially the ''lairs of evil'' and ''sanctums of despair'' specials.
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt... me! - Brick Top
Wait until you see the special Two Towers edition featuring Certis'' and Elysiums ""homes"" as opposed to the dark sanctums of the office complex.
MUST...STOP ...PLAYING ....SWG! MUST GET REAL LIFE BACK AGAIN!
Apparently, I have proven my worth to the greater powers, and have now been promoted to intern. Now have I seen the opportunity that lies before me. No longer shall I be content to simply toil in anonymity! I will further the goals of our evil overlords by oppressing all those beneath me, and bending them to my will. As long as it doesn''t interfere with my tee time.
"Anakin, as embodied by [Hayden] Christensen, is the kind of needlessly moody kid you might see getting punched out in a Dairy Queen parking lot."
"”Paul Tatara on SW:Episode II
Welcome to the fold brother! Now go, Certis & Elysium are demanding their juice and me and the rest of the interns need rest!
MUST...STOP ...PLAYING ....SWG! MUST GET REAL LIFE BACK AGAIN!