Make Everything Taste Like *Bacon*!
The Wheel.
The Child Leash.
The Pet Rock.
Every so often an individual is blessed with an idea that is so special, so clever, so incredibly genius in its simplicity, it causes the rest of the world to slap their foreheads and exclaim, "Why didn't I think of that!?"
Think about your favorite foods. Now, think about how much better they are when wrapped in bacon. Bacon is like monkeys - it makes everything better. What if a method was devised to supplement all edibles with the delicious flavor and aroma of mouth-watering, sizzling bacon? Wonder no longer, my friends, for the future is now! Two brilliant, enterprising lads from Washington State have captured the awesomeness in a bottle and named it Bacon Salt.
Skeptical? So was I. I eschewed my disbelief and ordered their variety pack -- all three flavors in one glorious package. Last night, I prepared a dinner whose sole purpose was to sample the variety of bacon-y delight that had just arrived in my mailbox. The menu was as follows:
- Tomato-mozzarella salad, seasoned with Original Bacon Salt
- Grilled chicken, dry-rubbed with Hickory Bacon Salt
- Corn-on-the-cob, cooked with butter and Peppered Bacon Salt
- Redskin smashed potatoes, seasoned with Original Bacon Salt
My verdict: A bacon-lover's delight. My favorite flavor is definitely Original; don't get me wrong, the others are fantastic, but Original doesn't have other flavors to get in the way of pure, delightful bacon. Hickory is delicious as well, and went very well with the chicken. The Peppered flavor imparts a nice, spicy kick -- too bad the corn itself sucked. That didn't stop me from licking the Bacon Salt off of the corn cob.
Ladies, Gentlemen, and Certis, my culinary life has changed -- for the better. The possibilities with this gift from the Culinary Gods seem limitless: Bacon-seasoned shrimp, baked potatoes, steaks, salads... the list goes on and on. If you like bacon, get some Bacon Salt. If you can't eat bacon due to your vegetarian or kosher lifestyle, well now you can enjoy the flavor of bacon as well. Could the world's future be unified by the love of bacon, bringing a new era of peace? I sure hope so, but in the meantime I'll be enjoying bacon as often as I please.
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
have you tried some on... bacon?
Interesting. I could see the appeal of this. It's damn sure a good deal healthier than actually eating the bacon (no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, less sodium per serving). I might pick some up and give it a try.
IronClad Online: PurEvil
I am lolling as I write this. I can only hope that your genius and this thread both go down in GWJ history.
Quote:
- Legion, taking "keeping it in the family" to a whole new level.
Xbox Live: Fedaykin98
So what do they do, treat salt with some chemical bacon-substitute flavoring?
Sure, and by masturbating you don't have to worry about all the risks of sex with a stranger. This stuff sounds to me like masturbating bacon rather than having sex with it.
Does it list exactly how much sodium is in each serving of the Bacon Salt?
A Mind Without Purpose Will Walk In Dark Places
"I may be out of ammo but I ain't out of chainsaw B*TCHES!" - Sinister's warcry for Gears of War
Bacon up that sausage boy
"I'm up the spout!" - Jeremy "Nyles" Greenfield
PLANT!
Mystic Violet wrote:
You can find the nutritional information on the website. Ordered.
NOTE: This is not a doodle bug.
Spore
It's vegetarian?
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
It's artificially flavored; but before you get your hemp panties in a bunch, consider this: What do we eat these days that *isn't* artifically flavored?
Yeah, but the bottle is at home. Don't worry, I sprinkled some on my lunch before I left the house today.
My god man, the awesomeness might kill me.
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
I guess the next step is to create a salt lick using the Bacon Salt and have it at work for when those cravings strike.
A Mind Without Purpose Will Walk In Dark Places
"I may be out of ammo but I ain't out of chainsaw B*TCHES!" - Sinister's warcry for Gears of War
I'm totally going to try it on popcorn.
NOTE: This is not a doodle bug.
Spore
I just might start eating oatmeal in the morning again.
EDIT: On the down side, Christmas presents and bacon were the only things we could lord it over the Jews with. I'd better tell the coven to stop this year's War on Christmas.
EDIT EDIT: The harness of my child leash was lined with lamb's wool.
RIP ChronicNecrosis
Tears of joy.
Well, I don't like to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty good amateur rectal photographer. Would you like to see my portfolio?
Song of the Week: ...on Facebook...
No, the next step is to try to introduce it in the bedroom.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
It's like God's way of telling us to use salt. Bless us all.
Xbox Live: Stilgar Black
Bagga for king!
Sigged as a tribute to my new liege.
If anyone needs me, I'll be sitting next to the water cooler with a case of Bacon Salt and a spoon.
XBox Live: Croutonic | Bungie.net: Croutonic
kaostheory wrote:
Ordered. Can't wait to try it out!
Xbox Live Gamertag : Barab
EVE: Hannibal Dax
Ew.
The darkness comes and the darkness goes
Last.fm
Madness I tell you! Madness!
That's the culinary version of "Don't cross the streams."
Edit:
Heathen!
LiquidMantis wrote:
I'm not sure that "bacon flavored penis" is the best idea, especially if you have pets!
I like the way you think.
Anyone up for trying this in a Danon Light 'n Fit Smoothie?
Elysium: The democratization of the web ... has installed an illusion of a digital first amendment that protects speech no matter how poorly spelled or stupid.
XBL: E Munnie
elementsofmeaning.blogspot.com
Madness?
THIS. IS. BAAACOON!!!
Elysium: The democratization of the web ... has installed an illusion of a digital first amendment that protects speech no matter how poorly spelled or stupid.
XBL: E Munnie
elementsofmeaning.blogspot.com
I'll take my culinary orgasms any way I can get them, thank you very much. Like masturbating, using Bacon Salt is also much *easier* than the "real" thing.
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
If you love bacon, you're just a repressed cannibal.
btw, I had a wonderful BLT for lunch. First time in months, so this is quite a coincidence.
Xbox Live: Irongut | Playstation ID: Irongut_GWJ
Um... maybe try... not having sex with your pets??
Your Quote Here!
Ordered.
My plan, put this on Beggin' Strips, and you have some excellent bacon-flavored food product, without all that unnecessary cooking.
Xbox Live Gamercard - bennard
Beer For Ben
Not to rain on anyone's Bacon parade, but a recent study showed a relationship between eating cured meats and lung disease. So a regular diet of this is probably unwise.
That's your health news for the day. Back to your salt, men.
Just in from Eli 7.4's playground: Apparently, girls go to college to get more knowledge, but boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. - Bill Harris
Jonnypolite on: Twitter
Well, according to this study, 1/3 of medical studies are wrong.
Xbox Live Gamercard - bennard
Beer For Ben
Dammit, dammit, dammit! I was just thinking that...
MechaSlinky wrote:
-on L4D