'Bros and hos' etiquette.
I know the title is inflammatory, but it's concise.
Got invited to a birthday party by a friend (A). The party was at his friend's flat (B). A joint birthday.
Had an OK time. Chatted with an interesting woman, a friend of A. Couldn't find the right time to ask for the woman's number.
Later on, was chatting with B - he's nice enough, we'd met once before - and it turned out he'd asked for the interesting woman's number and had been given it.
Though the guy is friendly and we had a good chat, this didn't stop me emailing A and telling him to pass my details on to his female friend.
Your thoughts gentlemen? (And ladies.) If it was my friend who was interested in the woman, I doubt I'd have made overtures towards her. But since it was a friend of a friend, I didn't feel too bad. Apart from the fact he's was friendly to me and it was his joint birthday.
If it helps I think he likes to get as many numbers as possible, just to play the field.
Oh and the woman was going on a date the next day, but she let slip she wasn't completely enthused about it. (She was going to a botanical garden.)
Hatchet Job - intelligent and irrevent gaming discussion.
All's fair, 1Dgaf. And the fact that it wasn't your friend makes it even fairerer.
"The real toy is imagination, it turn sticks into sword, chairs & blankets into forts and kids into heroes." - RedJen
XBox Live / PSN: jonnypolite | twitter
Fair game. You have loyalties to A, not B. Plus if the girl wishes to receive your details and follow up, that's in her power.
Xbox Live | Steam | Xfire | Last.fm
There's maybe just a bit of overanalyzing going on here, enough to make me remember Demos but not enough to make me double-check the poster. Still, too much thinking.
Gaming / PC Tech Blog: www.blastprocessing.net
Xbox Live: Legion SB / PSN: Legion_SB / Steam: legion028 / Twitter: legion
You have to believe, we are magic.
Goddamn, you think about this stuff too much. This bothers me, however
There's never a "perfect" time... -I personally believe you should make it the "right" time yourself...
Just curious, how long did you talk to this woman?
The man wears a bucket of KFC on his head. I wouldn't expect anything less. - Pred
I trust Mex. You listen to Mex, you get woman.
We shall grapple with the ineffable, and see if we may not eff it after all.
Everyone knows...
Bros before hoes.
"That's because you were 10. Everyone likes Garfield when they're 10. When you're 10 you think a cat eating lasagna is genius." - Mumford
BF2 Stats
2005 GWJFFL League Champion
Hell no. Real bros don't mind.
The man wears a bucket of KFC on his head. I wouldn't expect anything less. - Pred
When has anyone ever put a ho before a bro? that's what confused me on this thread.
-Zedified-
Good thing B is not your bro!
Fedaykin98 wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:
Yeah, I'm with Mex on this. Just ask for the dang number. You gotta get them digits.
Also, she's fair game until someone has something concrete going on. So long as she's single, calling dibs or asserting prior claims only count among close friends. Then, if you can't decide who should have the first chance (via who is more desperate, compatible, or whatever), I think the octagon is the traditional method of deciding.
Edit: Also,
Elysium: The democratization of the web ... has installed an illusion of a digital first amendment that protects speech no matter how poorly spelled or stupid.
XBL: E Munnie
elementsofmeaning.blogspot.com
Yeah, I am going with everyone else here. You aren't good enough friends with B for a bro before hoe rule to come into effect. Go for it. You have to make your own moves.
"Thanks, KrazyTaco, thanks. I'd put it in your pooper too." -Mex
"Krazy, I love the fact that you exist." -Vector
"Oh, KrazyTaco, you fulfill all my wishes." -pneuman
xboxlive= KrazyTacoFO
I'd go for the bro. Definitely. Why would you want to date a ho anyway?
XBL / Art / Blog (09/20) / Buy! (10/07)
Just realize that Mex means afters hes already slept with her is when to make the "right" time.
"Also, I have four legs and am covered in wool. Baa!" *Legion* reveals his inner furry.
I'm not over-analysing asking the woman out. I'm analysing the ethics of the situation.
Notice this isn't a Demos thing, because I'm attempting to get her number. I don't think Demos would have done that. I'm asking post-fact. If you'd all have said 'No, you mustn't go for the bird' it'd have been too late.
And, FWIW, there was a Chinese bird there who was well into me, so I can always fall back on that if I wish.
EDIT:
And, you know what, I don't really mind if people say I over-think things. If I'm over thinking them because I'm trying to be an honourable chap, then fair enough.
Hatchet Job - intelligent and irrevent gaming discussion.
This guy ain't your bro, additionally he has no right to lay claim, as he's never gone on a date with her. All he did was get her number.
I hope your not looking for an excuse not to make the call. The cold call can be scary, but nothing ventured nothing gained.
"Excuses are like poems: they're for sissies and no one wants to hear 'em" - Ron Stilanovich
XBL - GWJ Superfly
Definitely no breach of etiquette there, 1D.
Did you get the Chinese chick's number? No need to fall back at all if you can just sliiiiide to the side.
Xbox Live : Aries GWJ PSN : AriesGWJ Spore : Ariesgwj
I think you should get a hold of the Chinese chick. But I also have a thing for Asian women, and married a Chinese woman.
"Thanks, KrazyTaco, thanks. I'd put it in your pooper too." -Mex
"Krazy, I love the fact that you exist." -Vector
"Oh, KrazyTaco, you fulfill all my wishes." -pneuman
xboxlive= KrazyTacoFO
If I get her number, I'll call her of course.
The Chinese bird was very friendly, but I'm not sure how much we'd have in common.
Hatchet Job - intelligent and irrevent gaming discussion.
Next time just post in the middle of your conversation so I can advise you better.
And stop trying to have sex with birds, you freak.
The man wears a bucket of KFC on his head. I wouldn't expect anything less. - Pred
I was doing fine thanks - only f*ck up was not getting the number at the party.
Hatchet Job - intelligent and irrevent gaming discussion.
This man speaks the truth.
There's no "first come" etiquette. Let her decide.
[edit] -
...is that House?
"PEACE ON EARTH. GOOD WILL TO MEN. PUBLIC SHELTER. ADMISSION 50¢"
You --> Wing-wang
Her --> Vajayjay
How much more do you need in common?
"I'm absolutely retarded. Not 100% sure why." - atom
"Dhelor + intarwebs = Great ideas." - wordsmythe
"Do I what I do: hate everyone." - Quintin_Stone
A vested interest in making The Beast With Two Backs, which sounds like a given going on what you've said already, 1D.
I wouldn't say over-analyze; just not wishing to f*ck things up would be more accurate. I used to be exactly the same, so maybe it's an overly-polite British Bloke thing. Dunno.
With the benefit of hindsight regarding those years of being single, I'd say the "emailed my details" thing was a bit crap. Get her number off A and ring her. And do it ASAP now that there's a couple of days gone.
What have you got to lose? If it doesn't work, at least you won't have the added embarassment of being face-to-face. (Or balls-to-arse, if you prefer...)
PS: I was thinking of you, 1D, at the weekend. Rifling through the second hand games at Blockbuster, hoping to find a used pair of dirty knickers to sniff (i.e. Shadowrun). Failed miserably, though.
Xbox LIVE :: FriendFeed :: PSP Wallpaper
Remember, this thread was about male relationships. I'm not hung up on the woman - if I see her again, that's good. If don't, that's fine too.
And anyway, if he's passed the email on then me ringing her is going to smack of desperation.
But if I do meet her, I'll make sure she never forgets me.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tL60_ojwIDQ&mode=related&search=
Hatchet Job - intelligent and irrevent gaming discussion.
Man alive, that's bad - also physically painful to listen to, as I had my headphones cranked up at the time. Ouch.
OK, so on the male bonding side of things I'd concur with the general "forget B" concensus. A's your hombre, B's some random aquaintance.
And yes, phoning after the email wouldn't perhaps be the best move. I'm guessing it's a sit-and-wait type situation for you now? Fingers crossed, but it's rare that the girl chases in my (hugely limited) experience.
Xbox LIVE :: FriendFeed :: PSP Wallpaper
I know it's rare that the girl chases, which is why my email asks for her number.
If she sends the number, I'll know she's really interested -- plus she can still have me 'chase' her.
As I said, no worries. Just a bird I met at a party.
Hatchet Job - intelligent and irrevent gaming discussion.
Fair enough - must have missed that detail.
Xbox LIVE :: FriendFeed :: PSP Wallpaper
Yes. I can't remember who he was ripping on at the time, but I think it was Foreman.
IronClad Online: PurEvil
Yeah, I think you're in the clear here.
I had a bad one last year, I saw my female friend's boyfriend playing away in a club. She's my friend, not him, but my understanding of The Rules led me not to grass him up. I felt bad about it though.
It will do good to heart and head
When your soul is in my soul's stead;
And I will friend you, if I may,
In the dark and cloudy day.
- AE Houseman, trailblazing XBL user
XBox Live