The Gay Bomb, brought to you by the Pentagon. . . almost
Monday, June 11th, 2007 - 5:21pm
I found this article strangely amusing:
http://cbs5.com/topstories/local_story_159222541.html
In summary, the pentagon seriously looked into the potential of creating a weapon that made soldiers irresistibly attracted to each other, however it failed final feasibility tests.
I like my women like I like my meatloaf.
Hot and covered in ketchup.
I am disturbed but not nearly to the degree that I am amused.
"We're taught from a young age how to dodge rock hard objects moving at incredible rates of speed while simultaneously beating folks half to death with sticks. We do this for fun." -kung fu grip
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I have this strange intuition that all the subjects of the initial feasibility tests might be given a dishonorable discharge.
(okay, even I giggled at discharge)
WoW Blackhand Alliance
70s: Nukanatrix (M), Braun (P), Boreali (War), Heckfire (Lock), Jergen (Pal), Erissar (D)
Grumbar - 65 Hunter
I believe KAOS may have something to say about this idea.
I accrue pens like Hefner accrues bimbos. -- duckideva
I agree on the balls. Not a fan of the balls. -- wordsmythe asserting himself in OOC Theater
I found a picture from a weapons test:
NOTE: This is not a doodle bug.
Spore
When I've talked to military guys about gays in the military, the impression I often get is that this is the type of behavior that "could" happen if they let open homosexuals join. That they'd be sleeping, and Private LiteLoafer McFabQueen will be unable to resist the temptation of a drooling, sleeping soldier in his bunk and violate him repeatedly before he wakes. Basically, a sex-crazed boogie man with fantastic fashion sense. Methinks the idea for this "bomb" came from the same ridiculous notion -- "turn 'em all into a bunch of gays and they won't be able to concentrate on fightin'!"
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
The Spartans had lots of gay stuff going on. The British Navy that ruled the waves was totally gay. The modern American prison is about as violent a place as you can find and it's filled with gay sex. I mean, if there's one thing history has shown, it's that gayness doesn't breed weakness among males.
On a more serious note, the european militaries have openly gay soldiers and don't seem to have fallen apart. I'd be curious to see what a poll among non-coms with combat experience would say if they were asked whether having gay soldiers in units would make a difference.
Here I thought it was a USAF scientist who had a few too many the night before and turned "temporarily gay."
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Well, could be that "magic chemical" is our good friend meth. I'd suggest kind of backing well away after dosing 'em, though.
RIP ChronicNecrosis
I hope for god's sake that this was called Operation Tinky-Winky.
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I would have thought it would be more like this.
Xbox Live: Trachalio
Pipe Threader Manual wrote:
Operation: It's Raining Men.
Red Foxx, standing by.
I love how some are saying this would have been inhumane. In their minds, getting blown is so much worse than getting blown up!
"PEACE ON EARTH. GOOD WILL TO MEN. PUBLIC SHELTER. ADMISSION 50¢"
Is anyone else having "gay bomb" drive through their brain to the tune of the "Gay Bar" song?
I wanna drop a gay bomb, gay bomb...
Seriously, I love the voodoo science DARPA and others have pursued, especially when it's mystical stuff like Project Stargate.
I'd heard of a subsonic noise-weapon that when directed at people's torsos would cause them to empty their bowels. I immediately thought of putting such a weapon on a blimp and discharging it during the Superbowl: Brown Sunday.
RIP ChronicNecrosis
I know eh? Kinda doesn't make much sense now does it? It's like baggachipz said:
It's like people are convinced that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a magic shield that keeps "the gays" out. I'm sure the opposite is true. If you're a poor kid from the ass end of Virginia who knows they're gay the easiest and cheapest way for you to get out of town is the Military (Paraphrased from an essay from "anti-gay", a collection of essays from gay folk that don't see the point of modern gay "culture").
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Pipe Threader Manual wrote:
I hear they used what they learned to work on their new Tom Cruise missile.
NOTE: This is not a doodle bug.
Spore
I always assumed that Naval Aviation was full of latent or closetted homosexuals considering the names of the aircraft for the last 20 years:
A6 Intruder
EA6B Prowler
F-14 Tomcat
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
Don't forget the B-2 Spirit, the EA-18G Growler, and the A-24 Mincing Pink Cowboy.
But the US isn't the only nation interested in gay technology. Just look at Russia's MiG.15 Fagot.
NOTE: This is not a doodle bug.
Spore
Let's not forget the
1st Dragoon Guards (otherwise known as the Queen's Very Own Dancing Girls).
12th Royal Lancers (Ballroom Dancers)
Queen's Own Hussars (Queers on Horseback)
Black Watch (alternatively Poisoned Dwarves or Sheepshaggers)
Queen's Lancashire Regiment (Lesbians and Rapists)
Royal Artillery (Royal Arselickers)
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
I don't think it was made as a shield for anyone but gays who wanted to serve in the military (or get out of the ass end of Virginia, which for reference's sake is like Flin Flon at high humidity and 38 degrees). It was a Clinton measure that was high-minded but ended up compromised to nothing.
That sounds pretty gay.
(actually, I'm still trying to parse and understand it.)
RIP ChronicNecrosis
I was just pointing out how absurd some people's reactions are when they find out someone's gay. When I came out, a few of my fraternity brothers got all "OMGz! What if he sees me in the shower naked/tries to touch me now! He is teh gay!"
To them, I was suddenly a threat because they had all these pre-conceived stereotypes of what I must be now. No matter that I'd been living with them for two years and hadn't tried to do any of the things they were afraid of. The label of "gay" had been applied.
It took another brother pointing out that they were being complete asshats. I was exactly the same person I was before they knew, so why the funk would I be any different now? Did I develop a lisp overnight? Do drag? Praise Judy Garland? Hell no. I was still cranking Pantera at full volume whenever I could get away with it.
What the military fails to see is that anyone, regardless of gender, race, orientation, is signing up because they want to serve their country. End of story. Gay men and women don't sign up to get laid, they sign up because they want to serve their country.
It's been a long time since I read it, but from what I remember it was mostly a collection of essays from people that were sick and tired of gay "culture." That we don't need gay pride anymore, making every aspect of your life "gay" was counter productive, ridiculous, and shallow.
The paraphrase was in reference to how gay ghettos are dying out and how the author felt that the largest "gay ghetto" was probably the military. A poor gay kid can't afford to move to San Francisco or Vancouver to live in the Castro or West Van. They can't even afford to get out of town. So the fastest and cheapest option for them is to sign up with the military. They get a decent wage, a place to live, and more than likely will be stationed near a major metropolitan centre. Hopefully someplace they can meet more people like themselves.
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Pipe Threader Manual wrote:
The thought immediately in response to that was the chorus from "In the Navy."
And This Hour Has 22 Minutes' sketch about the Canadian Armed Forces' recruitment efforts aimed at "girlish men."
And Bob the Angry Flower's cartoon "Homosexual Robot Cop."
And the Onion article titled (I think) "Gay Pride Parade Sets Back Mainstream Acceptance of Gays by 30 Years."
And really--an anthology of essays about gayness written by gay men? From the "bookstore view" of gay culture, that's as much a part of it as Armistead Maupin novels and Tom of Finland postcard books.
RIP ChronicNecrosis
I'm not sure what you're trying to say there. That it's ironic that gay men write about how they despise gay culture, yet simply by writing about it makes it part of gay culture?
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Pipe Threader Manual wrote:
This is precisely why I even clicked on this thread. Every time I've clicked on P&C for the past two days, "Let's start a war. With a Gay Bomb, Gay Bomb, Gay Bomb," has run through my head.
EDIT: Trach, that sucks about your buddies. I had a couple of different fraternity brothers come out after college at different times. Nobody was really shocked, but I think that was because both of them had an effeminate streak. I imagine it would've been more surprising if one of the more "manly men" had come out, but now that I think about it I don't really know why. The only personally shocking thing to me about the revelations were that I'd never really considered their being gay a possibility prior to their coming out, but after finding out about it, it was kind of like, "Yeah, I could see that." Personal naievete, I guess.
Psychotic Foreign Teenage Chicks are so hot. - Legion
I find it ironic anytime a healthy vaccinated person bitches about science...on the internet. - MaverickDago
It ended up being a complete non-deal fairly soon, which was probably the best "outing" experience one could ask for. I wasn't the gay brother, I was just another brother. Nothing more, nothing less.
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Pipe Threader Manual wrote:
A shame this got discontinued. Think of all the "Someone set up us the gay bomb" jokes.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
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come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
Think of all the potential for gay terrorism. Fred Phelps, the Religious Right guys, etc. Sweet, karmic terror-larity.
WoW Blackhand Alliance
70s: Nukanatrix (M), Braun (P), Boreali (War), Heckfire (Lock), Jergen (Pal), Erissar (D)
Grumbar - 65 Hunter
Hmm. Maybe Ted Haggard was unwittingly exposed to a secret government terror weapon!
There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism,... those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.
It worked for Shin-RA. Kinda.
NOTE: This is not a doodle bug.
Spore
Exactly! "An Anthology of Gay --" followed by anything other than, say, "Recipes" or "Nuclear Bomb Plans" is going to fit right into the intellectual face of gay culture (the side represented by Kevin McDonald's character in the Kids sketches with the stoop-sitting gay guys).
RIP ChronicNecrosis
Hmm... seems less ironic and more... meta perhaps?
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Pipe Threader Manual wrote: