I know its tough L&L, but your doctor is probably right. He'll eat when he gets hungry. Of course, I'm not in your position, and I know that my will power is extremely weak when it comes to my own daughter's crying. So my advice is probably worthless.

Our son is just a month younger than yours. We started him on regular food several months ago, but we never had much luck with the Graduates meals. He wanted to eat what we were eating, so he basically treated the Graduates food in the way you're describing: playing with them, dropping them on the floor ("uh-oh!"), etc. If we take portions of food off of our plates and cut them up into bite-sized chunks for him, he doesn't feel left out and eats them happily.

I don't have much in the way of advice to offer, but it might be useful to hear that other parents haven't been successful with the Graduates meals.

We also have a preemie though a little older now (2.5). The thing with her was that she would eat pretty much anything but only like 2 or 3 bites of it. She still doesn't eat much and is tiny (she's 24lbs at 2.5) but the doctors aren't worried about it so I guess neither are we. It took her 2 years to show up at all on the growth chart.

One thing that we did was pretty much skipped the graduates and went for the unhealthy but tasty real foods. Whatever she would eat, french fries, corn dogs, mac n' cheese, etc. She also likes those little fruit cups a lot. Another thing to keep in mind is that for a long time we mistook her not eating as a result of her not liking the food. In actuality it was her not liking to be fed. Once we laid out the plastic and let her go to town her eating improved a good deal.

I'm all over the place with this but basically if the doctors are worried about his weight they will likely put him on pediasure for a meal or two per day. As for the unhappy baby during feedings, it seems that the whole "don't give in no matter how much they cry" advice is a frequent theme in various areas of child raising and can't be avoided.

I don't know if any of that helps but that was how our experience went.

EDIT: My statement about don't give in no matter how much they cry sounds extreme. There should be obvious difference between "I'm pissed and don't want to eat because I'm a moody baby" and "I'm crying all the time because something is really wrong. I'm not eating and I'm hungry".

My son liked only one flavor of the graduates as well. I think it was pasta with tomato sauce. Any of the others he'd do the same thing. We went to real people food and he did MUCH better.

OUCH! Sushi is right out for infants/toddlers and the other stuff would give most little ones gas from hell... not to mention the results in the diaper

EDIT: Lots of excellent advice while I was taking my time typing this out - mostly covered already

Well... this is a somewhat delicate issue, and please take the following with a grain of salt. It's important you do not stress out about it too much, as the worst thing a parent can do in these circumstances is make a big ruckus about food and give the child a nice set of eating disorders to carry around its adult life. So first of all, try to take it all in perspective. And READ what the experts have to say - again, potentially confusing (as are most things in raising humans) but eventually you'll find your path.

I'll try outline the "accepted wisdom" around these parts, which generally echoes what Jayhawker said. Again, nothing carved in stone.
Solid food can be given to a child once he is capable of sitting up by himself and bringing objects to his own mouth. Teeth are not a prerequisite - start with simple white or dark bread and boiled vegetables, and "safe" things like baby crackers (which melt in his mouth). BTW, that kind of cracker is probably a good thing to give him outside of meals once in a while as a sort of "early practice". Also, since he is over a year old he can basically eat anything an adult eats (as long as it's cooked - rare meat and runny eggs are still a little risky), many babies love omlettes as well (make sure they're not too hot), and once they have their front teeth hard cheeses (e.g. Cheddar) and chicken become popular quickly.
Any child will try to emulate his parents. Try to have your OWN meals with the child at the table (in high chair), and let the boy handle the food by himself as much as possible. This includes playing with the food, making a mess and throwing some of it on the floor. It is very important that the child learns to eat by himself as early as possible, and becomes familiar with the food he eats. It doesn't matter if part of the meal goes by with you putting food in his mouth (by hand, NOT utensil - leave that for things like Yoghurt) while doing some sort of misdirection, but as much as possible of the meal should go by with the boy eating by himself. Again, it might take a little while to get there, but eventually you will.
We've found that once our boy learned to be independent, ignoring him would actually drive him to eat more by himself. We'd all sit down to eat together, and start by placing various bits of food on his high-seat tray, while busying ourselves with our own food (or continued preparation of it). He would start by himself, particularly if we begin by giving him a choice (omlette+tomato+bread, for instance).
It is also very important not to force the baby (too much), and never to chase the child with food outside of a proper meal. It is very easy (as we have witnessed with some family members and friends) to make an issue out of food; this backfires quickly, as we've seen children as small as 1.5 years start manipulating their parents using food - be a good mommy and I'll eat, give me attention and I'll eat etc. Very easy trap to fall for, and difficult to remedy in later stages. Try to be as easy as possible about it, which might not be simple (ours is a premie too, there's was always the fear that he might not be eating well enough etc.). You should be prepared for the fact that starting on solids WILL slow his growth for a while, but it is a critical stage in development, and is above all normal. Formula is much more calorie-rich than "proper" food, and many babies lose some of their fat on transition.

Hope this helps. Most parents struggle with food issues at one time or another, so remember you're not alone

It's entirely possible that the doctor has very good reasons for insisting on the transition, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what they are. One more vote for the "let the kid want to do it instead of forcing it on him." school of thought.

Edit: Nevermind. I'm not a parent, I'll stay out of this.

I am SO glad I am not the only one with this problem. Max, who is 12 months, refused to eat anything that wasn't baby-food. One day I gave him a chunk of a baguette that came with my meal, and -lo and behold- he chewed on it. Didn't so much eat it, just chewed. There was a ton of moist bread balls on the floor, but we were as happy as can be. Once he realized that he could handle the texture, the rest has been easy. He now eats asparagus, orange slices, apple slices, basically anything that is big enough for him to hold in a fist and chew on. Cooked Carrots are a favorite. Although after the asparagus, his daycare teacher asked us "Is he always a this farty?" so we may cut that one out.

Good luck! It took us about two months of handing him food before he caught on.

Try introducing sweet, tasty food like diced apples and pears. Babies would often play and fidget with that, and will get their fingers covered in juices. Since they will inevitably put fingers into their mouth, it doesn't take long for them to figure where the sweet taste comes from.

Besides, EAT IT WITH HIM. Make sure that he sees that other people are eating this food and like it.

Totally went through this, especially with our first. I had major, MAJOR food stress. It's one of those primal things -- MUST FEED CHILD< CHILD MUST EAT!!!

But, I did learn my own cardinal rule, which is consistency. No, a 1 year old isn't "manipulating" but there is NO question in my mind that if you are consistent, your child is happier. If it's solid food from here on out, then so be it. It's the same with sleep. If you give in occasionally on any particular topic, you absolutely teach them that complaining/crying/whining is an effective strategy. Kids are smart, they're smarter than animals, and even rodents figure this out with months of being born.

Now that our kids are older, we have tried to stick fast to the rules on food. We make dinner. It's got good stuff in it and it's not horribly bad. Eat it or don't eat it. But there's no end-around for a pile of crackers after dinner or a last minute banana. Dinner is dinner.

In general, I think it's worked wonderfully, and it's kept food from being a battle or a negotiation or a reward or a punishment. It's just food. My hope is that it remains that way for them.

Looks like you got some good advice here, and I particularly like Rabbit's. I would only add, to keep trying new things, different tastes and textures. With our first daughter we made the mistake of once finding something she liked sticking with it too long and not introducing new foods. As the years went on she became very finicky and only ate a few things, lots of pasta, some fruits, cereal, &c.. We tried everything to get her to eat some other things. She is now 12 and it is only within the past month that she has begun to eat what the rest of the family eats. I took her in for her wellness check and mentioned the eating issue to the doctor. She gave my daughter a real good talking to, explained that she is do for a bit of a growth spurt and that her menses will soon be starting, and that the way she was eating her body was just not going to handle it very well. She also told her that if things don't change within a month that it would be time to visit a nutritionist.

My daughter really took this to heart and from that visit on has been eating what the rest of us do. The doctor also got on me and the wife a bit. Explained that the oldest daughter should be given what the family is eating and that if she doesn't want it she doesn't get to eat. None of this fixing her own bowl of cereal for dinner or mac and cheese or the other couple of items she liked; you eat what the family eats or don't eat. When she got hungry enough she could come and eat the plate we had made for her, otherwise no eating. So far we haven't had to do that. Doctor also said she had to eat a certain number of bites of everything on the plate.

Meanwhile our younger daughter we did a lot better with and she eats everything, except for real spicy Mexican or Thai foods.

Good luck and be strong, its the best thing for your child. But believe me, I know hard it can be when the one thing you love so dearly is crying right there in front of you and it can all end by "giving in" to what they are wanting and not what they should have.

Over the last three years my wife and I been undoing some really awful behaviors with my adopted son (he's 13 now, we adopted him when he was just turning 10). A child that young isn't manipulating, he's simply doing what he's learned works with his parents. If crying works to get parental attention, then the baby will do it to get attention. There are good ways around this - I've seen parents training kids as young as 6 months with sign language so they can communicate properly instead of crying. I think getting kids on the right track early is really, really important - My son was completely on the wrong track for nine years and let me tell you it is UGLY. he was basically still crying for attention at ten years old (tantruming).

Your doctor is absolutely right (assuming he's not a complete quack - you might try a second opinion to make sure the kid is ready to eat solids). As for the crying - steel yourself and push through it. It's your job as a parent to do the right thing, not the thing that makes the kid stop crying. This doesn't mean you get medieval on the kid or neglect him, it means you stop responding to crying for attention, learn to know when it's real and when it's not (this is most likely not, assuming he's not in immediate pain and hasn't been left alone or anything), and teach him to express himself in other ways when he needs or wants something.

In fact, I'd say you've got the solution to the problem already, and several people have mentioned this - if he's eating stuff from your plates in small bites, go with that and see if he'll eat more in small pieces or ground up. Sounds like what he wants is *your* food.

I tend to fall into the "be consistent, be firm, but try different foods to see if something else will work" category.

I *do* think baby, even newborns, learn to manipulate. It's their way of getting what they want. If you let them sleep with you every time they cry in the middle of the night, expect to hear them crying every night you try to put them in their own crib. Likewise, if you keep giving in and giving him the bottle/nipple, it will just take that much longer. A lot of this is about the parents being disciplined.

Letting your child try to feed him/herself is a good idea. I think we pretty quickly moved from that starter mush to things like Cheerios. I seem to recall that both of my kids liked to gum those, even when they didn't have any teeth.

On the crying thing. I remember advice I was given by someone once about kids running into things/falling down etc. Don't react. If they need help, they'll be really clear. My son is very tough on things (and himself) and he's constantly falling off things, running into pointy bits, etc. From the very beginning, when he'd do a faceplant or something, we'd just stare at him with our eyes open in a "wow!" pose. I think we've struck just the right chord. Now, when he does something really stupid, he just sort of looks around to see who noticed. If nobody did, he just gets up and keeps on going. If my mother, god bless her, sees it and says OOOOoooh, are you ok? then the crying starts.

Exactly my attitude (which tends to drive my wife nuts). For some reason it didn't help when I justified it with:
a) Crying is one of Baby's natural functions, and
b) Crying => Breathing. Silent => Schroedinger's Baby.