After a large, chainsaw wielding man carves you in half in Gears of War, you don't expect the female voice talking trash in your ear. Especially one with such a filthy mouth -- if the Zombie Skate stories are to be believed. Lunabean is a mystery, underneath her love for animals and questionable choice in men seethes the fury of a thousand angry wasps, aching to unleash vengeance on the unsuspecting masses. Here's to lunabean, she hearts brains.

As far as I know, that's a real bird and it's very, very happy.

Who the devil are you?

Hello! My name is Emmy. I'm 25 years young and I live in California. I'm a science nerd but you wouldn't know unless you bring up microorganisms or intestinal parasites. I have a strange sense of humor and I try not to take life too seriously. I procrastinate often except when it comes to my taxes; I love doing my taxes.

What are you supposed to be doing during the day when you're reading GWJ?

Studying, mostly. I'm a Vet Tech student. It's equivalent to being a nurse but for animals. I run my own pet sitting service and I will be working in a small animal hospital after this semester ends.

How about family? Kids? Pets? Particularly meaningful inanimate objects?

I'm not very fond of the idea of having kids. Sorry, mom!

I have a three year old cockatiel named Pepper. He's my only child and he's very spoiled. Owning a bird is basically like having a perpetual 3 year old in the house. I'd like to adopt some more birds but that will have to wait until we've moved into a house and have the space.

As for meaningful inanimate objects, I'm very proud of the costumes I've made (Yuna from Final Fantasy 10, Jill Valentine from Resident Evil, and Columbia from Rocky Horror Picture Show). I also own some very rare vinyl records that took me years to find.

What was your favorite game over the last year or so? Why?

If I have to pick just one, I guess I'll go with Gears of War. It's certainly my most played game of the year. Co-op story mode is perfect and the multiplayer is so much fun to play with goodjers.

Which game are you looking forward to most?

I can't choose just one! Halo 3, Animal Crossing for the Wii, DDR Universe and Super Paper Mario are a few that come to mind.

What is your fondest gaming memory?

Playing Guitar Freaks/DrumMania with my BFF Kara. I was on drums and she was playing guitar. She had the official DrumMania controller but not the Guitar Freaks controller, so I brought my Guitar Hero controller over. Guitar Freaks only uses three buttons so we assumed it'd be easy to go into the settings and make it work. It was not. It took us nearly an hour to get the Guitar Hero controller to work with the game, and even then it still didn't work perfectly. However, it didn't matter; we had fun pretending we were rockstars.

Finally, why do you play games at all? Why haven't you outgrown them?

Outgrow them? Are you implying video games are for kids? If so, then that's okay because I'm a kid at heart. I don't want to grow up! Seriously though, I play games because they are fun. I like having fun.

Thanks for taking the time to answer our hard hitting questions! Any last words?

My only regret ... is that I have bonitis.