Zoo Goggles (A Metaphor Brought to You By Panda Sex)
Normally I never send "funny things from the internet" to my friends, as I find it really annoying. This is just way too good of a metaphor, however, that reminded me of some of our hornier, Oogabier discussions.
Bright IdeasScamming the Horny Panda: One trick that zookeepers have used to get male pandas interested in mating with dowdier females (according to a December dispatch from Sichuan, China, in Australia's The Age) is to let an attractive female roam around a pen, leaving her scent, and then, in darkness, with the male in the pen and frisky at the scent, to introduce the less attractive female into the pen, back-end first, so that the pre-excited male will quickly begin copulating. Said zookeeper Zhang Hemin, "When the males find out (that they've just mated with unintended partners), they get very angry and start fighting the female. We have had to use firecrackers and a water hose to separate them." [The Age (Melbourne), 12-17-06]
WOW!
That is really mean. Also, where exactly do they put the firecrackers?
"He burns at the center of time and can see the turn of the universe."
Apparently they haven't tried getting the male Pandas drunk first.
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I've also heard they give them panda porn.
Ouch, I have lost myself again
Last.fm
Stupid male pandas.
What are they complaining about?
"Oh noes, I just had no-strings attached sex with an ugly panda chick, and they took her away so I don't have to cuddle."
Go eat some more bamboo and think about it, monsieur dumas.
They're probably pissed because they know that all their panda buddies are going to hear about it.
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baggachipz: Who cares about Japan, let them have their silly pointless dog games and countless re-hashes of anime-based dragon princess super lucky crapitty crap.
You know this is why they're endangered, right? Too damn picky.
What a great way to get her to leave your place in the morning. I wish I had thought of this method back when I was in college.
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
For the last time, I ain't paying child support on no bastard panda love child!
Elysium: The democratization of the web ... has installed an illusion of a digital first amendment that protects speech no matter how poorly spelled or stupid.
XBL: E Munnie
elementsofmeaning.blogspot.com
I was hoping this would be a thread about goggles to put on the kids that would magically shield the tiny tots from giant giraffe wangs. Or giraffe mounting. This was us at Audubon Zoo on Monday... "Look kids, it's the gira.... WOoooooah. Look over here quick! It's the rhinoceroses. There's baby Satchmo. No, we're not going to visit with the giraffe today. Lets go see the elephants." I'm just not ready to go into those details yet. They still think we picked out our baby at the store. That's not what I told them. Just what they think.
O, and giraffe probably make all the other male zoo residents feel inadequate.
The opposite of Love is not Hate, it is Fear.
No, that'd be too easy.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
But I thought zee goggles did nothing?
NOTE: This is not a doodle bug.
Spore
Seriously, he'll never hear the end of it. Plus, he may get relegated to perpetual wingman duty, as he's now known for digging ugly panda chicks.
Elysium: The democratization of the web ... has installed an illusion of a digital first amendment that protects speech no matter how poorly spelled or stupid.
XBL: E Munnie
elementsofmeaning.blogspot.com
Precisely why he's pissed.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
No wonder that pandas are pissed, the zookeepers have taken half the foreplay fun out of it, starting with the removal of ze bra.
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Oddly, I have no fear of this conversation for now. Here's a probable excerpt if this were to happen tomorrow:
"When a boy panda and a girl panda are in love, the zoo keepers turn the lights down low, put on an Al Green cd ( or whatever Pandas listen to) and well... they get it on."
"What do they get on? Clothes? I like animals in clothes . Arthur wears clothes. Did you know that, Daddy? He's an aardvark. Hey! Monkeys! Throwing poop! That's cool!"
And that's how that conversation will go.
I was at the zoo this weekend, and also saw one giraffe get ready for his mount. I thought of two possible responses to my 4 year olds question:
1) "They're making a baby giraffe"
2) "The one giraffe is trying to jump over the other one, but can't, but just keeps on trying"
Thankfully, the female giraffe ran off.
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Is it giraffe mating season? It is spring in the Southern hemisphere.
The opposite of Love is not Hate, it is Fear.
I could just see the male panda coming back and talking to his mates, "Well, she sure smelled like Ling Ling, but when it was all said and done...I think I just did Bertha."
Why don't they just put a bag on the panda's head?
Fedaykin98 wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:
Because that wasn't the part of the female panda that made him angry.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
I swear, Wu Xu Ka Huh and Ling Ling need to stay the hell away from one another. Haven't the zookeepers learned ANYTHING?
I accrue pens like Hefner accrues bimbos. -- duckideva
I agree on the balls. Not a fan of the balls. -- wordsmythe asserting himself in OOC Theater