Well lets see. I actually got married at the local City Hall by a Judge with only myself, my wife, and my best friend and his wife present. The parties on the other hand, happend at two different times in two separate parts of the country. So I don't think I'm going to be much help to you. I would however suggest that you have it close to where you are living, just because of the logistics involved with planning. Of course if your only having like 15 people at the party, or are willing to turn over much of the planning (read all) to someone else then you could have it anywhere you could find someone you trust.

The finger lakes in fall would be a beautiful setting. You could even rent out one of those vineyards that are up there, they make a very nice setting if you can time it right you'll even get the colored leaves on the vines.

"Mawwaige. Mawwaige is what bwings us togevah today. Dat bwessed awangement. Dat dweam wivvin a dweam."

My wife and I had a few goals for our ceremony and reception after just having been to a beautiful wedding that was also a huge hassle and pain in the ass.

1. We wanted it small. Only immediate family and close friends were invited.
2. We wanted it in September in Vermont where we spend a lot of time.
3. We wanted the ceremony, reception and everything else in one place. As I mentioned above, we went to a beautiful wedding in an exotic location. You had to drive HOURS for everything, even after you flew for HOURS to get there. We basically wanted a self-contained compound to save people the frustration of having to drive all over creation. It doesn't matter how gorgeous the location is. If you're making people, some of them elderly, haul their jet-lagged butts all over creation you're being cruel.

We ended up finding an old working farm in Cavendish, Vermont called the Bates Mansion. It was gorgeous, relaxed, a nice combination of rustic and grand and had plenty of room for most of our guests. Those we didn't have room for were put up in a nice ski lodge down the road. There was horse back riding, hiking, biking, sight-seeing and a huge game room in the loft of the mansion that kept everyone busy during the down times.

It was wonderful. We lucked out on the weather so we could have the ceremony in the beautiful garden, but we did have a backup plan to have it in the great room of the mansion. A fog rolled in after the ceremony, but there was an enormous roofed porch that everyone hung out on.

The fog cleared and there was a double rainbow over the distant green mountains as a fiddler played old tunes on the porch. Indelible!

Anyway, you can't control things like rainbows or weather, but you can make it easy on your guests. Afterall, this ceremony is just as much for your family and friends as it is for you. At least, that's how we thought of it. In our minds we were married already, and this ceremony was to bring people together to celebrate.

Techinically, we were married before our wedding. Two days before the actual ceremony, we had a small civil ceremony at my parent's home in Vermont done by an old friend of the family. No one knew this but us, of course. This made things much simpler on the day of the big ceremony because it allowed us to have our best friends "marry" us without having to worry about jusitce of the peace licenses.

Anyway, wedding planning can be pure madness. Just pick a few goals and keep them in mind above all things. We went in to the whole thing with practicality as the goal. It worked well for us, and the memories I have of that day will give me pleasure for a very long time.

Location:

Ceremony

Oldest Orthodox church standing in Athens (survived 2 wars!) Standing room only.. 100 some people.. hot as hell and I was on my feet for 40 minutes straight.

Reception

Athens, Greece. In the palatial gardens of the American School of Archaeological Studies... probably around 70 people.. tremendous amounts of food including a roast suckling pig amongst other delights.. Everyone there said it was the greatest reception ever.. probably due to the incredibly beautiful gardens (that are 3 levels.. the food being on the lowest level of the garden.. table on the highest.. dancing in the middle) Hanging lanterns.. late evening wedding in May.. perfect weather.. you cant get much better than that (also the Champagne was incredible.. I think I drank 2 bottles and passed out at 3am)

Best thing about getting married overseas is that you keep it pretty small.. as many people simply wont travel that far.. and I for one enjoy a much smaller reception.. as I actually got to talk and enjoy everyones company.

Mine is coming up fast (end of February), and we ended up going with a place that does receptions and weddings at one location. It's sort of nestled back into a forested area, so if you look out the panoramic windows of the reception room, all you see are trees. I dig that. Not that my interests are considered in these matters!

And we're doing it in Houston, because my family's from here, her mother lives here, a lot of our friends are here, and she no longer has any ties to her hometown of San Antonio.

We just got married in October in the small town of Ashland, Oregon. It's a college/tourist town with a pretty well known Shakespeare festival.

What was nice, was that there was plenty of things to do in the town for our guests, so we didn't have to keep them entertained the whole weekend of the wedding. We had a gathering at a brewpub for our guests (about 60 folks) at a local brewpub that went off amazingly well. After which folks split off to explore the town.

For the ceremony we chose Lithia Park. It couldn't of been better under a canopy of red, orange and yellow leaves.

Finally we had the reception in the community center just across the street with the tables in a circular arrangement. Everyone seemed to be having a ball.

For the whole shebang we spent about 6 grand, (catering, rentals, wine, photographer, etc). In modern times a fairly modest sum. I do believe that opting for the smaller scale of the wedding and letting our folks have a mini vacation in the town, we kept the stress level low. In retrospect I can't imagine another day.

Congratulations to you Kat, and best wishes for a wonderful day.

Obligatory picture

Here is a tip from my wife and I on planning a wedding, no on is going to remember the littlest detail of the wedding, so don't get hung up on the little things. The main thing people will remember is the food, the drink, and if they had a good time.

We had our wedding at the Catholic church we attended in college and the reception was at a lake resort about 15 minutes away. Everyone had fun and drank less then we expected, since we got money back on our bar deposit.

Getting married in October of 2007.

Location: Seattle, WA (where we live) at Golden Gardens Bathhouse

Why? Our family is spread across the country, opposite coasts even. We wanted it to be equitable to all, in terms of travel time. My parents have to drive 8 hours, hers have to fly for 8. Very few family members have unlimited funds, so cost was a concern as well. Lastly, the vast majority of those attending will be friends, most of whom live in Seattle.

Also, we wanted to have the wedding and reception in the same space, because, for us, the ceremony is the smallest part of the evening - perhaps 30 minutes max. For us it is really about celebrating and throwing a really really great party for our friends and family. So the space we chose was large enough for both, and informal enough that we didn't have to worry too much about offending anyone's moral or religious sensibilities.

We wanted it close to 'nature', but an outdoor wedding in October is too risky here. So we got a nice, old, community space down on the beach, near the quasi-rain-forest and with views of the Olympics and the Sound.

I don't know where you're located, but another option we considered was getting married at the Zoo. They have an amazing gathering space there (several actually), but they require you to use their caterer, which can make costs add up quickly.

Best wishes and many blessings to you!

We got married at what used to be a boys summer camp, called Camp Colton, Oregon. We chose it because we could have everything there; rehearsal dinner, wedding, reception. We also wanted those who hadn't been here to be able to see why we chose this part of the country to live in. Also, we had cabins for 32 of the wedding party, and we wanted to have as many people stay at the site as possible. I've always loved weddings where the site itself was the destination, and everyone could just hang out, socialize, and get to know each others friends and family. I only wish we'd had room for more people to stay, but we wanted to keep our costs within reason.

It's also nice to have those from out of town do as little driving/navigation/negotiation of an unfamiliar place, to minimize problems.

Remember, Kat, it's your day, and it's about you. Don't focus on minutiae, and try to remember as much as possible. the day will zoom by!

One very important question.... who is paying for your wedding?

My wife and I pretty much paid for the whole shebang. We decided to invite only very close members of the family and very close friends; we wound up at around 40 people or so. This way we could spend more money per guest and really make it memorable for everyone. How many weddings have you attended that had a nice sit down 5 coarse meal including elk and trout as the main dish? My philosophy was/is that there are really only certain members of friends and family who will be there for you for your whole life... share your wedding day with them, not countless, faceless masses. Our wedding day really turned out just awesome--- we actually had time to enjoy our wedding day, since we didn't always have to be hosts, constantly talking to random strangers who said they were family or friends of random family members.

We had our wedding/reception up in Estes Park, Colorado which is right outside Rocky Mountain National Park. The church we used was a tiny and very pretty Anglican church and the reception was at the Stanley Hotel (of The Shining fame).

Personally I would wait until the honeymoon for the international travel, because keep in mind your guests have to pay a significant chunk of change to attend your wedding if isn't near where they live... unless you're part of the uber-wealthy crowd

Good luck and make sure to put as much time, if not more into planning the honeymoon.

Since our 7th anniversary was on a Wednesday and zero was still in school we decided to fill out the paperwork and have someone marry us in front of city hall with both our mother's present (romantic, eh?). Then a couple weeks later we had a ceremony and reception for family and friends. The ceremony was on the beach. The reception was at the Town Hall.

We tried to keep it small and leave out details. I did most of the planning myself except for sealing the deal on the beach (zero's mom did that) and hiring caterers (my mom did that). We also saved money by having family and friends do some of the more expensive parts of a wedding. Our friend Mark took pictures, my father-in-law's girlfriend brought all the flowers, and both our families brought their musical instruments and played on stage.

My wife and I got married in a courtyard in San Rafael, CA. We sent invites to 180 knowing that at least 30 were definite no's. Up to the last month it seemed we were going to have 130 guests. The last month, guests started dropping like flies. We ended up with 97 or 99 guests and had a blast.

Our biggest eye openner was the catering costs. Many places were charging a minimum of 70$ a plate with some as high as 90$. We found one of the 70$ caterers was willing to work with us on getting the costs down and was the only vendor that was a tremendous help rather than headache. The other big eye openner was the bar at the location wanted to charge us $4000 for wine and beer.

So be careful of locations that are cheap up front for the property rental because they more than likely will have hidden and not so hidden charges that rack up the $$$.

Many times, because of all the headaches, my wife and I crashed into bed wanting to elope. But, after all the headaches, it turned out to be the best 3 days of my life by far! My parents friends and our family are still raving about our wedding. We even went to a wedding a few months later where everyone was talking about our wedding.

The keys are to be as gracious as possible. Unfortunately, the bride and groom are the focal point of all the tension brought by your guests before and during the ceremony. If you can not lose your mind being all things to all people, the ceremony can be 100% about your love. And trust me it radiates to your guests.

We added little personal touches to everything and involved our family representatives in our ceremony. Those things made all the difference in the world!

It seems like most of the more popular places to get married have time limits. There's a garden around here that looks absolutely stunning, but only gives the whole shebang - wedding, reception and all - three hours, like yours did. I don't anticipate having a seventeen hour hooplah, but I dislike the ticking clock feeling, too.

We've actually looked at the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans; the Tea Room there is absolutely stunning. Plus, I love that zoo; they do so much conservation and habitat work there. There's an option where you can rent and get married on a steamboat, as it travels across the Mississippi to the zoo, where you can have your reception. However, that sounds insanely expensive. Even without the steamboat, costs may run kind of high. Still, the Audubon Zoo is pretty far up on my brainstorming list.

A little bit from everyone, it looks like, including us. We'll have approximately $15,000ish, last time I checked the finances. But if we can get away with paying less, I definitely want to. Although I know some weddings get as high as $50k, I think $15,000 is astronomical for setting up just three hours of your life.

It's actually in serious consideration. The main drawback is sand, and its propensity for getting everywhere you don't want it to go.

Me & Mrs.Yozh were wed in 1993 back in Moscow, Russia. Being poor as church mice, we didn't have too many options. Ceremony at a municipal office, reception for the closest friends at a big apartment which my best friend was somehow mysteriously able to rent.

In Soviet Russia, the marriage enters into YOU!

Holy Cow! Congratulations to everyone.

My own white silk ghymkhana was a long time ago, and it was in the church we attended when we were growing up and then the reception was held in the gym of that same building (which has these really cool movable walls that they can bring out and a drape for the ceiling that made it feel like one of those fancy tents. It really looked nice. That was in 1987, though. Maybe I'm glossing a few things over thanks to the intervening time.

Looking back it's not the place you remember, it's the people. It's my Gramma noticing that one of the groom's men had listed some of his sizes wrong for his tux rental and she fixed it just on the basis of having met the guy once over a year ago (and she was right, too). It's seeing us both standing there under the arch at the front of the sanctuary with both of our hands shaking so hard you can see it in the videos. It's my then 12 year old little brother standing there holding that white lace pillow the same way you would hold onto a smelly dishrag who had been signed up as the ring bearer under protest by my mother when the first choice ended up with the chicken pox. To top it off he had huge growth spurt between the engagement and the wedding so he was nearly as tall as the groom. It was my best friend catching the bouquet and amazingly enough ending up married within the year. It was the insane Mexican standoff between our mothers as they gritted their teeths through the entire proceeding because my Mom thought we were too young and his Mom thought there was no way I was good enough for her little boy.

If you really like the idea of having an exotic backdrop for the photos but don't want to deal with the overhead for the ceremony, an idea I've seen used by a friend was to have the wedding party meet all dressed up in this amazing spot (it was the spot in Deception Pass National Park where they met) to take the wedding photos, and then everyone trooped up to the ceremony/reception itself which she had in a 1900's school house that had been converted into a community center not far from her house.