I've worked entirely too much retail. Send me the chapter. I may not have much useful to give you, but I'm sure I'll enjoy what you send me.

How come this is the first we've (I've?) heard about a book? How far along are you?

Are we talking Chuck Palahniuk style anecdotes or Neal Stephenson style?

Yes, because:

an"§ec"§dote"‚ /ˈÅnɪkËŒdoÊŠt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[an-ik-doht] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
a short account of a particular incident or event of an interesting or amusing nature, often biographical.

Includes the definition "write my book for me"...

Justin, I'll email you what I have tomorrow. I needed to talk to you about something anyway.

Did you notice that your Irontown article made the "Best Of" issue at Escapist a few weeks ago?

Smooth Jazz. I had to listen to 97.8 smooth jazz, where they played the same songs in a 6-hour loop (yes, I was able to time it after awhile).

EVERY. SINGLE. WORKDAY.

Not only does Kenny G. suck, but Kenny G. associated with Retail Trauma? If I even hear one of those miserable excuses for 'songs' in a store today, I walk out.

That actually happened? Ewwwwwwwwwww......

I'll definitely be picking up a copy of this book when it comes out, though. I likes the way you write, mistah.

I'd reccomend dropping Justin a line, for this. It's an amusing read, and free!

I was working at Electronics Boutique back when it was still called Electronics Boutique and this southern woman was looking through the Playstation games. Of course they were all gutted to prevent theft, which means customers often treated them like crap, dropping them, stepping on them and the like. So this woman picks up a case for a game, I think it was The Little Mermaid or something like that, and it has a crack in it. So she says, "I'll bet the record's muss'd up too."

Another time a nice old lady brought a used N64 game up to the front counter and asked me what "used" meant, and if someone else had already "recorded over the tape."

That's just about all I got.

That reminds me of an incident while I was working at Ace Hardware. A fellow comes in looking for pressure treated lumber, which we kept out back. He brings his SUV, something like an Explorer, around back and two of us load the lumber in the back. I start to close the liftgate, except it's clear that the back window will at the very least touch the end of some of the lumber. Since we packed it in as far as it would go, I tell the guy I'm going to get some twine so we can tie his gate down so he can drive it home. "Nah, it'll close," he says. I again advise him to just let me get some twine and tie it, but he goes and slowly closes the gate. It's almost there, so he gives it a just a bit of a nudge... Crack. His window didn't shatter, but it did have 3 or 4 cracks spidering out from the corner of the lumber. We didn't say anything and neither did he.

Sorry, doesn't really fit what you're looking for.