Name That Column: Part Deux
Tuesday, December 9th, 2003 - 2:58am
My God, you guys overwhelmed me with your half-serious vaguely mocking suggestions. While I appreciate the outpouring of thesuarus references and just slapping my name into a television show (how did no one come up with Elysium Eye for the Straight Guy?) I couldn't pick just one. So, I picked my favorite fifteen, pared that down to ten, and now finally five that I like and think work as a title for a column. I leave it to all of you to vote on the winner, and who gets the copy of Galactic Civilizations for the PC. *Please note: if Certis wins Galactic Civ will go to the runner up. He's already got 3 of my GBA games, and that should be enough for him.*
Additionally, it was Reaper's "Random Neuropathway Connections That Yield Tangible Output From the Brain of Elysium" that I actually liked the most. If only it would fit in a headline.
"I think Elysium has the right of it" - Certis
8)
So... do I win the No-Prize?
"If Blizzard announces a subscription fee for Diablo III we will have to build a second Internet to make room for all the complaining." - muttonchop
I voted for Maximum Verbosity, as it just sounds catchy. With that kind of tagline your column would surely be bought for a movie script somewhere down the line.
Maximum Verbosity: The Elysium Story
In a world where evil reigns
One man dared to write on a website
TO THE EXTREME
*Elysium punches the camera. Immediately cut to an explosion*
Random Chick: No, save yourself!
*chick screams and motorcycles come out of nowhere*
*Elysium turns to the camera*
Elysium: It''s on now!
*Elysium then jumps out of a plane and surfs to the ground using a surfboard made out of explosives*
*SCREEE* - record skipping sound
Random Black Guy: Yo, that is whack!
*show about 10 explosions for 1 second apiece interspersed with images of random hot women with guns, there has to be rap music in the background for no reason*
Elysium: Guess I sure showed you, by blowing you up!
*overly dramatic music starts up again for no reason*
Elysium, starring as Elysium in
Maximum Verbosity
Sniff you jerks later I''m selling this to Hollywood.
"Poor Eli Nooo... *child starts crying*"
"Come on now, there's no need to make that kind of noise. It sounds awful and you'll upset other people." - Ionae from Spirit Engine 2
Holy crap was that funny! Ow, my ribs.
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
Awesome - one of mine made the cut! Pyro, stop watching SpikeTV.
Oh my God, Pyro. That''s the funniest thing I''ve read in weeks. I bow to the pop-culture master.
"I think Elysium has the right of it" - Certis
When is the cut-off date on voting?
Xbox Live: Kooter06
Could you check the code on the poll? Clearly the many votes for Elysium''s Epistles are being misrecorded.
"All that time you waste dating and having sex could be better spent scouring the web for new game developer press releases." - Quintin_Stone
I know that the problem is....Alien your name is mispelled in the poll !! I demand a recount. Call Florida, they can help.
Xbox Live: Kooter06
That is whack!
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
I shall go down in history as a martyr to insecure electronic voting protocols.
"All that time you waste dating and having sex could be better spent scouring the web for new game developer press releases." - Quintin_Stone
Building on Gorack, Elysium if you ever do a Q&A you could call it Elysium Fields Your Questions.
"All that time you waste dating and having sex could be better spent scouring the web for new game developer press releases." - Quintin_Stone
So you didn''t even vote for yourself?
"Poor Eli Nooo... *child starts crying*"
"Come on now, there's no need to make that kind of noise. It sounds awful and you'll upset other people." - Ionae from Spirit Engine 2
Are you trying to trap me into saying that the poll code is not defective? I see right through your infantile deceptions.
In all seriousness, Maximum Verbosity is a snappier title than my proposal. Gotta give props where props are due.
"All that time you waste dating and having sex could be better spent scouring the web for new game developer press releases." - Quintin_Stone
Voting will last a day or two, or until there''s a clear winner. Which, is becoming clearer and clearer.
"I think Elysium has the right of it" - Certis
It''s on now!
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
Consider the matter closed. I think I see who''s going to win here.
"I think Elysium has the right of it" - Certis
""Maximum Verbosity"" is only winning because it''s first on the list. I voted for you , Alien13z!
Reagan understood that the key to peace was never arms control. Security had nothing to do with the number of weapons, it had everything to do with the intention and power of those who possessed them. - Charles Krauthammer
Me too!
There''s still only one vote for Alien13z....
There must be gremlins involved.
"Poor Eli Nooo... *child starts crying*"
"Come on now, there's no need to make that kind of noise. It sounds awful and you'll upset other people." - Ionae from Spirit Engine 2
Due to the confusing nature of the ballot, some people who wanted ""Elysium's Epistles"" may have accidentally voted for ""Maximum Verbosity"", which is clearly impossible if you look at the demographics.
Alien13z, based on this, and the fact that obviously antiquated voting technology was used, I suggest you demand a recount. And if you''re smart, you''ll only ask to count the votes from people you know were likely to have voted for you.
We can''t have an unelected column title presiding over the home page!
Reagan understood that the key to peace was never arms control. Security had nothing to do with the number of weapons, it had everything to do with the intention and power of those who possessed them. - Charles Krauthammer
Shouldn''t it be ""Elysium Eye for the Gamer Guy""?
Thank you for your support, Ral and Leaping Gnome. I''m not going to throw in the towel yet. I have petitioned for certiorari with the United States Supreme Court. I have it on good information that Justice Scalia is a very big fan of the word ""epistle"" and with Thomas following along behind I only need to find three more votes before Maximum Verbosity can be declared unconstitutional and One of 47 shipped off to Camp X-ray. Yay for me.
"All that time you waste dating and having sex could be better spent scouring the web for new game developer press releases." - Quintin_Stone
Cool! I''m going to camp X-ray!
I haven''t been to camp in a long time!
What? This is a catholic camp?!? That''s ok...I''m sure everyone likes s''mores...
Hey...what are you doing, Father Alien13z...
That''s not the way I remember being taught how to kneel to ...hey! I don''t...but...okay, if you say so...it''ll be our little secret...
Don''t tell Father Jackson, though...he gets mad when I talk to the other grown-ups...
Money can't buy you happiness...but it can buy you a boat big enough to sell right up next to it!-David Lee Roth