"Don't tickle your penis at the dinner table"
Friday, November 11th, 2005 - 9:04pm
As soon as those words came out of my mouth tonight, I had to run to the kitchen and stuff a towel in my mouth to avoid laughing aloud.
Sure, I bet you'd like an explanation, but OOC is so much better.
So, what's the funniest, most bizarre, unbelievable thing you, as a parent, have heard yourself say to your offspring?
"And my son, too, thinks everything is a launchpad, every bug a meal, and every sunny day a reason to take all your clothes off and roll around in the grass." - rabbit
DIABOLICAL!
Bill Harris will be forced to show himself! The truth will be known!
Warrior Asherr
Hunter Ghorin
SILENCE, FOOL!
Seriously, where are the GWKs?
"And my son, too, thinks everything is a launchpad, every bug a meal, and every sunny day a reason to take all your clothes off and roll around in the grass." - rabbit
Probably telling their kids "Snot is not a snack!" or somesuch.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
I actually walked into my 2 year old son "tickling himself" while watching lelo and stitch 2 tonight.... it was "ackward"
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"Damn, your comedic timing is awesome." -- Spaz, *Legion* Fan #1437
Well, Lilo's older sister could probably break the top 100 Sexiest Cartoon Babes list.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
"Boy, stop frenching the dog."
In his defense, he's not yet six months and has just discovered he can taste things, which is comedy gold. Add to that the fact that the dogs like to keep him clean as only dogs can and voila...
Said this today: "Come on, penis! You can do it! Go!"
Background - because you guys would give me hell without any explanation for the above: today we tried the new potty-chair for the first time. Elysium 2.0 really got into the whole idea, and started cheering his penis on, shouting "come on, penis, you can do it! Nice work!" So I joined in as a cheerleader. I'm a mom!
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
- Dr. Martin Luther King
And what a mom you are.
If I didn't drink, Crom would laugh and cast me out of Valhalla when I die. Peer pressure I can handle, but not when it comes from Crom. -Lobo
I'm a GWK course mine are teenagers so they're most definately NOT kids. ask them, they'll tell you...forcefully.
And somewhere, right now, Elysium is asking why he can't get that kind of support from his wife.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
Me: "Stop whining!"
Bean: /best whiney voice "I'm not whining!"
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Mars Hall
I had a similar one a little while ago.
Me: Are you being cranky?
Emma (screaming): NOOO!!!!
Xbox Live: CrankyBaby
baggachipz: Who cares about Japan, let them have their silly pointless dog games and countless re-hashes of anime-based dragon princess super lucky crapitty crap.
Probably because she's mad it's neccessary..
Unfortunately, if I slash my wrist with my lightsaber it cauterizes instantly. - PurEvil on emo Star Wars plots.
You're going to have to keep that one in the bank, for the first girl he brings home. He'll appreciate it, trust me.
"PEACE ON EARTH. GOOD WILL TO MEN. PUBLIC SHELTER. ADMISSION 50¢"
"Get your F#$%ing hands off my pot!"
Well, not really but that would have been funny!
I don't think I've ever said this sentence before, but man would I love to hump that butterfly.-- KrazyTaco
One phone call and you're melting like butter over my kettle pop. -- Edwin to Mex
2005 GWJFFL2 Champion
"Could you please not grab yourself on the soccer field?"
Unfettered Blather - Daily updated nonsense
X-Box Live Gamertag - CrazedJava
Less chatter more splatter!
You know, in some cultures that's merely a way to compliment the chef.
I started my own blog so when I feel the need to make an ass out of myself, I won't have as far to go.
Hand-balls violation.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
Its never fun to censure Grampa is it, Ducki.
Lets see, funniest thing I've ever had to say at the nearly 3-year old's table is probably "Grandma isn't coming over tonight, she had a few too many".
my vote cancels out yours
"the first time I met you, when I introduced myself to you and pledged lifelong love, respect, and devotion, you peed in my eye. No, really. That's OK, I know you didn't mean it."
In keeping with the OOC first post, no explanation.
You don't have to call me Lieutenant, Rosie......
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LobsterMobster wrote:
Well, you have to admit, that is a weird way to introduce yourself to a new neighbor. And why you were in my bathroom, I still wonder about that.
WSTR.info: Western Swordsmanship Technique & Research
Mars Hall
I believe that's a two minute penalty for holding the stick.
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Said tonight by Elysium:
"Sit down and stop hitting things with the fish! Do you know what happened? The eye hit my hand."
No more explanation - becuase it's funnier unexplained.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
- Dr. Martin Luther King
"Both of you boys come out of the closet, RIGHT NOW!" I almost fell on the floor as soon as I said it.
Xbox LIVE: oldman GWJ
"I might have gotten away with it if it wasn't for a damningly tenacious clinger." - Crouton on a childhood excrement escapade
"I was sleeping just fine until someone else jumped in bed with me"
"Don't you tell me to suck it off!"
"Quit trying to stab your brother and come to dinner!"
I never realized how being a parent involved saying things that sound clearly insane.
Unfettered Blather - Daily updated nonsense
X-Box Live Gamertag - CrazedJava
Less chatter more splatter!
One of my neighbors put things into perspective for me the other day.
So subtle, so insightful, so wise. I'm pretty sure he's a stoner.
"And my son, too, thinks everything is a launchpad, every bug a meal, and every sunny day a reason to take all your clothes off and roll around in the grass." - rabbit