Where's Elysium?
Friday, August 12th, 2005 - 8:08am
So, I was standing naked in the shower this morning, and I couldn't help but think: Where's Elysium been lately? After his glorious return to authorship with his excellent series of game retail expose' pieces, he has nigh but disappeared. Has the product of his breeding turned days into weeks? Perhaps his job as his wife's assis- er, business partner has monopolized his time? Where are ya, little buddy?
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
Last I heard, he had abandoned his mortal body and joined his essence to the universe itself. So a better question would be: Where isn't Elysium?
The market has much to answer for as to why gaming is NOT an art. -- illum
Wouldn't that make him a Scientologist? What were you really doing in during E3, Elysium? Hmmm?
Psychotic Foreign Teenage Chicks are so hot. - Legion
...they can also come bathe in the glorious, healing light of my Johnson. - Prederick
I thought that they merged his consciousness with that of a 60's-era deep space probe, and shot it off on a two hundred year round trip to the Planet of the Machines.
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
He will now be known as V'ger the Bearded One and is able to disintegrate Klingon cruisers with glowing blue balls of energy...
Gamertag: RiverRatMatt
Witchlight Cycle: Sithis of the Thelis'Thale Clan, Dragonborn Paladin of Moradin
Wouldn't that be E'ger?
An ounce of prevention creates a single point of failure -- IT Security Proverb
Giannino - 70 Fury Warrior
He's got two tickets to paradise. He packed his bags and left last night.
Oh crumbs, I'm all thumbs laying here with you. You're beautiful and busty and I'm a little rusty - I've forgotten what to do...
So that's why he tried to shave off Elysia's hair with an electric shaver.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
After the GWJ meet & greet he went on a road trip with his brother and his dad. Then he was home for a few days and then left again for another trip with his wife and Elysium 2.0. They left Wednesday, I think they're gone for a week or so.
Yeah, it's scary. I'm staring into the abyss right now, and it's staring into me, which I think is kind of a dick move on the abyss's part. - Nyles
Or he's in prison, for having such a shifty beard. And cheating at Mario Party.
Also, it'd be E'ium and he'd have the power to make glowing balls of blue energy to destroy Klingon vocabularies. Common misconception.
"We've learned irishmen have huge nipples, and that intellectual film critics are all huge gaywads. But most of all, we've learned that creeping corporate influence over the news media ... protects us from terrorism" - Norm Archer, Onion Movie
Geez Certis, you are such a downer. These "true" and "rational" explanations are totally bummin' me out.
"I like to hear people talking when they're not talking to me," I said. "It's soothing to know that I don't have to listen." -- Bill Harris describing a truism.
Those who cannot spell correctly have no honor. And contractions are tools of the weak and the cowardly.
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
I'm personally of the opinion that he just can't be bothered.
Mercury's been in retrograde most of the week. It's like a full moon with a side of kicked-in-the-nuts. -- H.P. Lovesauce
I think we've found him...
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
See, he's not dead, he's self-employed!
I'm bringing sexy back!
Rat Boy, my hat is off to you, sir.
Morrolan wrote:
That is absolutely brilliant.
Xbox Live: CrankyBaby
baggachipz: Who cares about Japan, let them have their silly pointless dog games and countless re-hashes of anime-based dragon princess super lucky crapitty crap.
Awesome Rat.
I think we have another clue though. If you play the Wiener Bomb MP3 backwards, you can distinctly hear someone say "Elysium is dead, miss him, miss him." I have no idea how that got in there. Creepy though.
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
Great picture right there!
As for Elysium, I hear he's been camping in front of a local theatre in the recent past to make sure that he'll get weekend tickets for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, his most anticipated movie this year.
Deuce Bigalow? Somebody needs to stop him before he makes a terrible, terrible mistake. Boys?
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
Sorry to disappoint, but the story is much less interesting than many of your imaginations. It's just that my beard staged a coup d'etat on my face and now controls 38% of my body, including an arm, most of my eyes, and the international airport. Fortunately I still control the military and we are regrouping near my navel (or, the Hole, as the grunts call it), and we expect to crush the resistance early next week. Once we stick those commie bastards up against the wall, I'll be back in action.
- Elysium
I would think your pooper would be a bad place to stage an offensive... a good defensive place. Nobody random will come by unless the really have to.
"Just remember that sometimes you need to allow problems to just roll like water off of a duckilama's back." ~Reaper
The minions of hair have controlled that region for decades. They're too deeply entrenched!
"PEACE ON EARTH. GOOD WILL TO MEN. PUBLIC SHELTER. ADMISSION 50¢"