Fletcher's Texas Chili

This is a spicy, tomato-y, bean-less Texas chili. You can omit the cayenne or peppers if you're weak-tongued (or a Yankee). Some people also find that glorping a dollop of sour cream on top cuts the heat a bit and adds flavor. You can add beans if you absolutely must, but just don't tell me you did it. A can of pinto beans or red navy beans would be best for this (Ranch Style if you can find that brand). I find that this chili is best on the second day after I make it. Or if I have the time to let it simmer for 2-3 hours.

Prep time: a few minutes
Cook time: all damn day (or 1 hour if you're pressed)

2 Tbsp oil
2lbs ground pork (or other meat. Pork is best.)
1 (8 oz) can tomato sauce
1 (12 or 16 oz) cans diced tomatoes and chilies (Ro-Tel if you're from the South.)
1 small can green chilies
3 cups water
1 white (or vidalia) onion, chopped
8 Tbsp chili powder (I use actual dried, ground Ancho Chili powder for my chili. The "chili powder" you get from the store is mostly ancho powder but usually has a lot of other stuff mixed in. It'll do in a pinch, but for really smooth tasting chili, try to find the Ancho powder. I get mine from here.)
2 Tbsp ground cumin seed
3 tsp paprika
3 tsp salt
1 Tbsp cayenne pepper (or 1 habanero pepper, or 2 jalapeno peppers or all of the above)
2 Tbsp corn starch

Brown the meat until it's almost burnt.
Put the meat in your biggest pot (A dutch oven works, but this recipe tanks in a crock pot. Sorry.)
Add: tomato sauce, Ro-Tel, chilies, water.
Bring to a boil.
Stir in: everything but corn starch.
Reduce heat and simmer for a while. An hour if you can stand it. All day if you have it.
Stir in: corn starch.
Raise heat a touch and stir until the chili thickens.
Serve with corn bread.

Makes: enough to have Frito Pie (put Fritos in a bowl, add chili, sprinkle shredded cheddar on top) the next day.

Very easy pork tenderloin (best with CrockPot).

Preparation: Total time 3 minutes.
Get any sized pork tenderloin that can fit in a CrockPot.
Add 3 cans Cream Mushroom soup
Add 1 can french onion soup
Add 1 can cold water
Add 2 teaspoons each of salt/pepper/garlic

Cook 5 hours on low in crock pot... thats it

Its very good!

Take 1 large spicy Italian sausage, fry lightly in butter sauce, then grill until brown on the outside. Wrap in raw bacon. Fry until fully cooked. Best served with bleu cheese sauce and LARD.

Goulash, Galician Style

Simple, easy stew, feeds a small army. A little different from the traditional Hungarian recipe.

Ingredients:

1 lb of beef or pork (doesn't have to be a top quality cut - it's going into a stew after all). Diced into half-inch cubes.
1 large onion (or more, to taste). Diced.
Bell peppers: 1 red, 1 yellow. Diced.
1 carrot. Cut in half.
3 or 4 cloves of garlic. Diced.
Hot paprika.
Sweet paprika.
Beef broth. Doesn't have to be top quality - I use bouillon cubes.
Vegetable oil or butter.
Bay leaves (4 or to taste)
Salt and pepper.
Optional ingredients: 1tsp of caraway seeds, 1tsp of sugar

1. Sautee diced onion and garlic over a bit of oil or butter, over low heat, until onion becomes soft. Feel free to add some pepper to taste, if you like.
2. At the same time, sprinkle diced meat with paprika and some salt, and brown over high heat to just sear the outside.
3. Once the sauteed onion is soft, sprinkle it liberally with sweet and hot paprika (proportions to taste, I tend to do 2:1). Mix well, and saute for another 3 minutes or so.
4. Add browned meat, diced peppers, carrot, and enough broth to cover everything. Also, add some bay leaves, salt, pepper, and optionally the optional ingredients.
5. Bring to boil, cover, and cook over low heat until the meat is tender and the stew is yummy - at least 1 hour, I try to go for 2 h if I can. Season to taste with salt, pepper and paprika when close to serving. The sauce should be thick - if it's too watery, thicken with a few tablespoons of butter.

Serve over noodles or potatoes.

Yum.

Beer Chicken
This is quite possibly the best chicken you will ever have in your life. Period. People have often told me it is better than the chicken they serve at restaurants like Swiss Chalet. The only downside to this recipe is the time it takes to cook it.

Ingredients:
Whole chickens that are defeathered, cleaned and hollowed out
One full can of beer for each chicken
Chicken Spice (optional)
Other spices such as rosemary, thyme and garlic (optional)

Cooking time: About 2 hours

1. Purchase whole chickens (I usually go with the formula number of people eating-1 as the number of chickens to pick up) that are cleaned, defeathered and hollowed out.

2. Make sure that the chicken is completely hollow (some processors leave a bag full of chicken guts on the inside. Why, I have no idea) and then trim excess fat off the chicken.

3. Wash chicken in water to clean it lightly. Dry chicken off completely.

4. Rub chicken in oil ensuring entire surface is coated. I normally use Canola.

5. Coat chicken liberally in favourite spice. I highly recommend La Grill Montreal Chicken Spice Ensure entire surface is covered.

6. For each prepared chicken, open one can of beer. Pour out of each can, about half the beer. Drink beer you have just poured out. In each half can of beer, add some seasoning. I myslef prefer rosemary, but thyme and garlic can be added as well. The amount isn't critical, just something to permeate through the chicken.

7. Taking the chicken in your hands, lower it onto the half can of beer so that the can goes up into the cavity of the chicken. When the can is completely inserted (sexual joke can be made at this time to impress your dinner guests), the chicken should be "sitting" up right on the can.

8. Light only one side of your BBQ and set at medium heat. Sit the chickens on the UNLIT sight of the BBQ. The reason for this is that as the chickens cook, they will drip fat down into the element causing flare ups if they are on the lit side. Close the lid on the BBQ.

9. After about 1 hour cooking, turn the chickens 180 degrees. Continue to cook for 1 more hour.

*Note* you may want to continue checking on the chickens periodically during the cooking process in the event they tip over.

10. After 2 hours on the BBQ, examine the chickens. They should be a nice golden brown on the outside. If the spice is blackened, no worries, the chicken itself is fine. If they appear to need more time, try another 15 minutes with the top down.Remove the beer cans from the chickens (you may need help with this step as the can is very hot and may be tough to remove). Carve up and enjoy. The meat should fall right off the bone

*Final Note*: The side of the BBQ that the chickens were cooked on is now covered in chicken fat. You may want to turn this side on high now and burn the fat off so that your next BBQ does not turn into a mini inferno (been there, done that). Another option is to have a small pan under the chickens while they are cooking. Either way is up to you.

The Infamous Bacon Fat Burger
Ingredients:
1 hamburger patty
1 hamburger roll
bacon
cheese
jalapeno peppers
cooking oil

Materials:
deep fryer
george forman grill

Procedure:
1. Place the hamburger patty into the deep fryer, don't cook it all the way, just enough to brown the outsides while leaving the middle still raw.
2. Cook the hambuger with the george forman grill, now the important step here is to re-apply the grease drippings back ONTO the burger.
3. Cook the bacon any way you see fit, I recommend cooking the bacon directly on the grill with the burger, so you can utilize it's grease drippings.
4. Make sure that as much of the delicious delicious grease stays with the burger and doesn't drip out. It helps if you tilt the forman grill up.
5. Top with generous amounts of cheese and jalapenos, serve with a toasted bun.

Analysis:
This will probably kill you.

Conclusion:
I've only done this once, years ago, but no one lets me forget about it. It's become local legend.

Tasty Meat-a Balls
This is recipe that I've loved for years, but had forgotten about until last night. It's stupidly simple, and makes kickass leftovers.

Ingredients:
1.5 lbs (675 g) lean ground beef
1c ketchup
1/2c brown sugar
1Tbl Worchesteshisteshire sauce
3/4c water
1 small onion

*if you want the meatballs over rice, you should probably get the rice started first. If you want them over pasta, you can probably wait for the meatballs to be almost done.

Set a pot of water to boiling. Form ground beef into meatballs and drop in to full boil. Boil for 7 minutes after the last meatball hits the water.

While the meatballs are cooking, combine ketchup and brown sugar in a mixing bowl. Gradually mix in water and Worchesteshistishesetechire sauce. Chop onion finely and add to mix.

When meatballs are done, drain, then add sauce. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. (More doesn't hurt it, especially if you forget to start the rice until right about now. Like I did last night. )

That's it. Dead simple, about half an hour start to finish, and tastes great. You'll probably want a veggie or something to go with.

Chipotle Tenderloins
Here's a recipe that is fairly standard, but I've tweaked it slightly and upgraded it for four tenderloins, as opposed to the original two. You Johnny Rebs can add more Chile Powder if you like. I found my version to be hot enough for me and the lady.

- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 2 teaspoons onion powder
- 2 teaspoons garlic powder
- 2 teaspoons chile powder
- 4 tablespoons chipotle chile powder
- 2 teaspoons salt
- 7 tablespoons brown sugar
- 4 (1.5 pounds) pork tenderloins (Any cut will work well)

1. Mix the spices and sugar together in a freezer bag. Add the tenderloins, and shake to coat. Let sit in the fridge for about a half-hour. If you don't mind getting your hands dirty, go ahead and rub the... uh, rub... in.

2. Grill for 20-25 minutes, turning every 5. You can also use the broiler at about 425, for those who are housebound.

AJ's Carolina BBQ
This is a recipe for BBQ, Carolina Style that my grandmother gave me. I find it quite delicious. I'll give the recipe in two parts, since I've taken to making a rub up before I cook the meat.

Rub:

Brown Sugar 1/4 cup
Coarse Sea Salt 4 tblsp
Cayenne Pepper 3tsp
Garlic Powder 1 tblsp
Paprika 1 tblsp

For the record, those are all approximate measures. I usually use a larger cereal spoon and/or the palm of my hand when I measure all this out. Basically, it should have a brown color,with a hint of reddish pink through out. Once rubbed into the meat, and I do mean rub, proceed to cook it as you will. Smoke it if you have the time, toss it in the oven if you don't, or for the truly strapped, drop it in a crock pot with about 1/4 cup of vinegar.

The Meat:

Pork Shoulder/Boston Butt or any similar cut. I like to get a 4-5lb cut, if not larger.
Cook as above using your desired method. I've done this using every method listed, and they all turn out delicious. I recommend cooking the meat until the bone can be pulled out by hand. Crockpot time is 5-6 hours on high, 6-8 on low. Oven time is 6-8 hours, 8-10 if you can spare it at around 300F. On a smoker, just let that baby roll for 10+ hours. Then grab a couple forks and shred the meat by hand until it's chunked out how you like it.

Now, the sauce. It's nothing fancy, but quite tasty.

2 cups cider vinegar
1 cup brown sugar
2 tblsp - 1/4 cup yellow mustard
1/2 tsp red pepper
1 1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1 tblsp worcestershire sauce
1 tsp tabasco or hot sauce

Toss all that in a small saucepot and simmer it for about a half an hour or so. Once that's done, toss it with the meat. Enjoy.

Spicy Beef Roast

This was an experiment. It was delicious. Here's what I did:

Start with a beef roast of some sort. I did this with a 3.5lb eye of round roast, but any cut will work out just fine.

The Seasonings:
Garlic Salt
White Pepper(this can be fresh or pre ground; fresh ground will give a better flavor in the end.)
Cayenne Pepper
Thyme

I didn't measure any of it, to be honest. I just went with what seemed right. I didn't have any rosemary, but you can use that as well; pretty much any pot roast seasonings are going to be good in this, it's just extra flavor to blend together.

The Accomplices:
Red Potatoes
Carrots of some sort, I use baby carrots.
An onion of your preference. If you want it a bit sweeter, use vidalia, otherwise white, yellow or red are all equally viable.

Chop potatoes to half inch chunks, carrots to about 1/4 inch chunks, and the onions a little smaller than that. After you put the roast in the pan, spread these around the edges. Also, the pan doesn't have to be too deep, the one I used was about two inches or so.

Take the seasonings from earlier. If you have fresh, use it. Otherwise, ground will suffice, and I would suggest taking some of it ground and sprinkling it around for extra flavor. Make sure you get the potatoes with everything, and when you're done with that, slowly pour in a half cup of water , trying not to wash off too much of the seasoning everything has been coated in, using the sides of the meat for this works pretty well.

While you're doing this, preheat and oven to 500F or so, and when it's done, crank it down to 350 and throw the roast in, covered with tin foil. That half cup of water is going to steam all the veggies and keep the roast moist. Cook it 18-20 minutes per lb, and check the temperature. If you're like me, and you want it medium rare - medium, keep it closer to 18 minutes, otherwise, move it up. Internal temps for wellness can be found elsewhere, usually on your meat thermometer if you have a decent one.

When it's all done, let it rest 5-10 minutes to absorb the juices internally, then slice as you desire; I prefer 1/4 inch slices. Eat with the potatoes and stuff, they will be delicious also.

Fletcher's Texas Chili ala Lobo

Having tinkered with it quite a bit, I humbly submit my version of Fletcher's classic, above. His recipe has several special features that I've sought to maintain: the use of pork instead of beef, the extensive early browning of the pork, the very liberal use of ancho powder, the absence of beans (which, while tasty, disguise the dense, formidable flavor of the meat and the chiles, and so deserve to be used in dishes other than chili proper), and the long cook time. I have placed a greater emphasis on fresh chile peppers in addition to dried, and I've increased the heat of the dish tremendously; the heat comes in waves and plays off of different areas of the mouth as you swallow. Beware.

Ingredients:

2 Tbls. vegetable oil
2 lbs. ground pork
2 Tbls. salt (add more, to taste, when the chili is almost done)
1 bottle of good beer (think Shiner Bock or Negra Modelo; something with color, and not too hoppy)
2 large onions (yellow or white), diced
1 green bell pepper, cored and chopped
2 poblano peppers, cored and chopped
2 jalapeno peppers, cored and chopped
4 habanero peppers, carefully cored and chopped (either wear latex gloves, or do what I do: wrap your hands carefully in plastic wrap before you chop the habaneros)
1 large (28 oz) can crushed tomatoes
3 cups water
8 Tbls. (1/2 cup) ground ancho chile powder
1 Tbls. ground chipotle chile powder (or other chile powder, such as New Mexico, to taste; hard to beat the smoked flavor of chipotle, though. Alternately, you could chop and add a couple of canned chipotles, with some of their accompanying adobo sauce.)
1 Tbls. paprika
2 Tbls. ground cumin
1 Tbls. ground cayenne
1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbls. corn starch

1. Add the vegetable oil, pork, and salt to a large, heavy pot. Brown the pork over medium-high heat until it's dark and dry, at least half an hour, stirring frequently. As you stir, scrape the pan bottom well, deglazing occasionally with the beer so that nothing burns. Sip some beer to pass the time.

2. Add the spices all at once: the ancho, chipotle, paprika, cumin, cayenne, and black pepper. Stir vigorously for about a minute to let the heat awaken them, then add the water to deglaze.

3. Add the onions, assorted chopped peppers, tomatoes, and what's left of the beer. (Be sure to add at least a few tablespoons of beer; the alcohol will dissolve some of the tomatoes' flavor compounds that aren't soluble in water.) Reduce to a simmer and cook for four hours, stirring occasionally, and adding water to maintain the level of the chili.

4. Before serving, add the corn starch and bring to a boil to thicken. Add more salt, to taste. Serve over a starchy food, like steamed rice or cornbread, to cut the heat. Sour cream, chives, and cilantro are optional.