The Ex, Death, and Me in the middle!
Thursday, April 28th, 2005 - 2:25pm
OK, before anyone even makes this joke... I didn't kill anyone!
So, anyway, my ex's grandmother is apparently about one and a half to eight months away from passing away. Those of us who knew her... are not really that surprised. The lady drinks like a sailor, smokes like a chimney, eats like she's never heard the word food and pyramid in the same sentence, etc... Anyway, the lung cancer has been found spreading into her liver now... so recovery possibilities officially went from a longshot to impossible overnight.
Anyway... suddenly, my ex is back in my life, trying to find comfort... and I find myself awfully torn.
I know this is gonna sound stupid... but do any of you watch Sex In The City? I have a very similar point of view on tragedies as the Russian. When it was first discovered, I was like, she's a trooper, she'll probably be fine... but, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity if there's something left unresolved, or if you really feel the need to say or do something.
And now, she's back talking to me, crying, scared, worried about her sister, who might not even make it back in time from California (raising up money to visit), etc... and I'm trying to be sympathetic, trying not to say anything bad, and at some point (I seem to remember being a little drunk and pretty tired) even offered to send some cash along if it would help her sister get home.
What the hell do I even do? She's suggesting like spending time together again... and... I really don't think I can. She really burned me and I have no interest in being with her again... but I'm afraid of my own weaknesses and knowing that if the opportunity came up... I might get back together with her for some reason. Is this like High Fidelity waiting to happen or what?
"Just remember that sometimes you need to allow problems to just roll like water off of a duckilama's back." ~Reaper
DO NOT DO IT.
"If Blizzard announces a subscription fee for Diablo III we will have to build a second Internet to make room for all the complaining." - muttonchop
I would just point her to these threads of yours and be done with it.
Certis beat me to it. - Elysium
Seconded. That bridge is burned already.
The question isn't "Who is going to let me?" It's "Who is going to stop me?"
Ah... we''ve found the secret to Demos''s relationship problems. Turn off HBO Demos... we''ve removed TBS from your channels and confiscated your DVDs... put the remote down...
Honestly though, I think it boils down to one thing: do you still carefor the girl? It sounds cheesy, but I think you have 4 options.
1) I will not be there for you. You are teh suck.
2) I will be there for you for this time... hell, I''ll even give you some money... but this is an extenuating circumstance, and in no way eludes to me wanting to be friends/otherwise with you.
3) I will be there for you... I''ll give you some money... because I care about you, and don''t want to see you doing bad.
4) I will be there for you, give you money, my first born... just take me back, baby!
The important thing, though, is to decide on where you fall, and stand there. You can''t waft between #2 and #3 at your whim.
I know with MY ex of 3 years (going into year 2 of being broken up) that if she called me, destitute and sad, that I''d do what I could. But, I''d realize she''s probably just doing it because she knows you probably willbe there for her, and that would make me take the things she says/way she acts with a grain of salt. Make it clear to her up front how you feel, and it might hurt her a bit, but it should help, long-run-wise.
EDIT: Or, I could be wrong.
Apparently I didn''t read the other threads closely enough, and crazy-bitchitude is, indeed, crazy-bitchitude. 
So, uh, don''t do it.
XBox Live Gamertag: Warlockbert
Hehe, I think a link to one of the other ones where I said how much I hated her would probably be more effective.
And I''m not going to do it... but I don''t know that I can avoid seeing her forever either. Especially if I do get this job at Chipotle, she''ll be there at least once a week for her chicken burrito.
And I''m in agreement with Warlock, this really is an out there situation... and I''m trying to help because I know how much this can suck and I care enough about her not to wish something like this on her... but damn, I can see her manipulating this situation and me being too stupid to figure it out till it''s too far in.
"Just remember that sometimes you need to allow problems to just roll like water off of a duckilama's back." ~Reaper
Demos, one of these days I''m going to introduce you to my two friends, Dignity and Self-Preservation. I hope that you''ll get along.
Morrolan wrote:
Her problems are not your problems. End of story.
Get that baggage to the curb. Stat.
WoW Baelgun: Omusa, Spits
Fully agree with everyone here. She is using you. Final.
PAR
LinkedIN profile
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For all who live in such times, it is not for them to decide. All we get to decide is what to do with the time given to us
Homeboy; no. This is not an ''out-there'' situation. It''s a very cut-and-dried situation. She is your EX. She has squat to do with you. You are obligated in no way to offer her any kind of support.
Find a new chick, bro. In the time it took me to type this reply, a thousand new girls were just born. People make themfor fun.You will find another one that works for you. You''re trying really hard to be this nice, sensitive guy, and she''s using the sh*t out of you. Nice sensitive guy is good in real small doses. More than that and you just get pathetic.
/washes his hand of this whole thing
Morrolan wrote:
I have to concur with most people here. She is an ex. She is NOT part of your life in a direct manner anymore. Her problems are hers and, if it was me, I''d slam the door in her face. People die everday, big deal. Yeah I''m cold hearted, but this came from years of being screwed because I was the sensitive guy..f*ck that.
Unfortunately, if I slash my wrist with my lightsaber it cauterizes instantly. - PurEvil on emo Star Wars plots.
Dude, I''d listen to any pearl of wisdom that Sanj has offer, namely because he has the big ones knock on the door of someone he''s never met and get a date out of it. Most people can''t/won''t do that. He is wise, young grasshopper, and his advice in this case is dead f***ing on. Should be all you need.
Psychotic Foreign Teenage Chicks are so hot. - Legion
I find it ironic anytime a healthy vaccinated person bitches about science...on the internet. - MaverickDago
Run, Demos, run! Don''t stop running until there''s at least three ZIP codes between you and her!
"Men like sex, thus boobies! Oogaba!" - dejanzie
"If ads put your sanity to the test
come on down to Rat Boy's nest!
light up a stogie, and soon you'll see
how rock can be commercial-free!
'I'd hit it!'" - HP Lovesauce
Yeah, I just... I dunno. I don''t feel right abandoning her all together... but, it was what she tried to do at first. At least Caitie had the nerve and the fortitude to STAY GONE and keep things simple. This one just keeps biting on the bait every time I throw my line back out there, hoping for a different fish. (Is it weird that I just used a fishing analogy when I''ve been fishing no more than like 5 times in my entire life?)
"Just remember that sometimes you need to allow problems to just roll like water off of a duckilama's back." ~Reaper
Just don''t kill her, they would place you with a motive.
Spiderman wouldn't sneak, Spiderman would go. -Elysium
XBL: TheZedian
I can''t stop laughing Demos ... wait, am I laughing or crying?
You are being such a doormat that it''s just not even remotely entertaining anymore. Sad, man. The word is sad.
My final piece of advice to you (and I mean it this time) is this: spend some time alone. Away from girls, away from the emotional crutch of this site and most of all away from that chick. Learn to rely on yourself for validation and stop inflicting your weakness upon others.
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
I think Sam Kinison would have used the term ""emotional tampon"" in a situation like this.
All this science I don't understand. It's just my job five days a week.
My modest advice:
Offer her that you''ll make a donation in her name to a cancer research foundation of her choice, and leave it at that. That should provide plenty of comfort and moral support to her, now that she''s technically a stranger to you.
If you need funds for such a donation, sell 5 videogames and one console system currently in your inventory.
It will only do you good.
Xbox Live tag Gorilla800lbs
Demo...While I have never chimed in on your personal problems before, I have read along with everyone else when you post them. She is using you. Some girls are like that. It sucks when you''re so ""in it"" but, pull back a bit and try and see it for what it is. She is using you and once you don''t suit that need anymore, she''ll burn you again.
Good luck buddy.
Perhaps the person whose knob she polished less than a week after she left you would give her some cash for the experience?
...
...
... am I the only one who thinks it''s a little ironic that I just said that?
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
To attain the highest level of inner peace and contentment, that of Certivana, you must ignore that heinous bitch and tell her to find her own support group.
Steam Id
Twitter
Mixol on XBL, couldn't recover my old account, sorry!
Yeah, where''s that clown in all of this? If he bolted, maybe the added benefit of you dissing her would help her in the long run. You know, that whole ""don''t be a cockbite to people"" thing. If you don''t teach her a lesson, she''ll just keep on preying on you and other hapless chaps until she eventually gets drunk with power and starts World War III. Is that what you want, Demos? To cause World War III? If it starts, I''m coming by your house with a cattle prod, crisco, and a baby llama. Use your imagination; I know I will.
I generated a virtual world in the toilet bowl this morning.
-- Podunk on the PS3's mystical, magical abilities
No, I bet the person just figured out what a bitch he was dealing with and absconded by the end of the second week.
Xbox Live tag Gorilla800lbs
Not to say anything bad but reestablishing a relationship with an Ex is never a good idea... the relationship will never be the same, there will always be distrust and at time more aggravation than you bargain for! No mater what the circumstances"…
Xbox Live: Nei HD | Playstation ID: Nei_GWJ
No, you aren''t alone, but the rest of us is just keeping polite (if awkward) silence
Xbox Live tag Gorilla800lbs
It sounds a bit like your mind is already made up and you are looking to your ""surrogate family"" (GWJ)
, to help change your mind. That will not happen, do what you are gonna do, get it over with, then come back in a week and tell us how she has taken your heart out of your chest and used it for batting practice.
I have to concur with everyone else here, cut the umbilical, and let her leech off of someone else''s emotions for a change.
Quintin_Stone wrote:
lunabean wrote:Kick her to the curb, and laugh while you do it.
XBLive: Thin J
PSN: Thin_J
I don't imagine master craftsmen leaping away from completed projects and shouting "Done, motherf*ckers! - 1Dgaf
This is the first ever Demo-Drama thread I have ever read. Since all the cool people are saying screw her, i''m going to be cool too, and tell you to lay the pimp hand down.
Quote:
XBL Tag: Prederick
About what I thought. Thanks Rilla.
I''ll just move on over to the ""Full of sh*te"" section and try not to bother you folks while you''re eating.
Waitress?
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
Reaper is, as always, dead the hell on. Being a nice guy is GREAT, but there are certain times when you just have to think about yourself. This is one of those times.
She is not your girlfriend. She is not your FRIEND. You two have a history, but no present. You are not the only person in her life. If you decide to do the right thing, she WILL find someone else to barnicle herself onto. RUN LIKE THE WIND.
''Doormat'' was a good choice of a word. She only comes calling when she wants something from you? Hells no, son. Hells no.
"PEACE ON EARTH. GOOD WILL TO MEN. PUBLIC SHELTER. ADMISSION 50¢"