Because why not? It's important for everybody to have a thread to be completely wrong in.
AFC North
Bengals* 11-5
Steelers* 10-6
Ravens 8-8
Browns 3-13
The AFC sucks. The Bengals are adequate enough to win. The Browns get the #1 overall pick in a strong QB draft and can't take one thanks to JFF. God hates Cleveland.
AFC South
Colts* 11-5
Titans 8-8
Jaguars 6-10
Texans 4-12
The AFC sucks. The AFC South really sucks. The Colts get lots of wins because the Titans and Texans have no QB, and Bork Borkles, while impressive in the preseason, is still a rookie on a thin roster. But, hey, improvement.
AFC East
Patriots* 12-4
Jets 8-8
Bills 6-10
Dolphins 6-10
The AFC sucks. Mostly. The Bills going 6-10 I think is in the Constitution at this point.
AFC West
Broncos* 13-3
Chargers* 11-5
Chiefs 7-9
Raiders 4-12
The AFC West doesn't completely suck. Losses among the offensive line and Alex Smith being Alex Smith make things sad for the Chiefs.
NFC North
Packers* 11-5
Bears 9-7
Vikings 8-8
Lions 6-10
I think Teddy Bridgewater starts early when Cassell plays like crap. The Bears will have an offense until Cutler gets hurt, then . . . OH MY GOD, THAT'S JIMMY CLAUSEN'S MUSIC!!!!
NFC South
Saints* 12-4
Buccaneers* 10-6
Falcons 8-8
Panthers 7-9
Yes, Tampa in the playoffs. I think they're realistically an 8-8 team, but the combination of Gerald McCoy and Lavonte David means every offense has to be scared. Those are two guys who were legitimate DPOY candidates last year on a horrible team, and McCoy wins it this year. The Falcons bounce back to adequacy, and Cam Newton curses his team for making his offensive line out of Breaking Madden rejects.
NFC East
Eagles* 11-5
Giants 8-8
Washington Football Team 8-8
Cowboys 5-11
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE INEVITABLE ROMO INJURY SO WE CAN ALL ENJOY THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF BRANDON WEEDEN.
NFC West
Seahawks* 12-4
49ers* 11-5
Rams 9-7
Cardinals 5-11
Effectively holding serve here.
Superbowl . . . wild guess, Patriots over Eagles. I'm leery of the Seahawks based on the increased emphasis on illegal contact, and leery of the Broncos based on Peyton having to break down some day, right? I mean, it's not like I picked Denver to have the best record in the league and Manning as MVP . . . wait, I'm an idiot.
Basically, things will be even more offense-crazy this year. That seems to me to favor a creative guy like Chip Kelly, and Patriots/Broncos was a bit of a toss-up.
MVP: Peyton Manning
OPOY: Lesean McCoy
DPOY: Gerald McCoy
OROY: Teddy Bridgewater (otherwise known as the "choose a rookie QB" award)
DROY: Jadveon Clowney
I'll bite--if nothing else this will be hilarious in a few months
AFC North
Bengals* 10-6
Steelers 7-9
Ravens 7-9
Browns 1-15
---
AFC South
Colts* 11-5
Titans* 10-6
Texans 6-10
Jaguars 3-13
---
AFC East
Patriots* 12-4
Dolphins* 9-7
Jets 8-8
Bills 4-12
---
AFC West
Broncos* 13-3
Chargers 8-8
Chiefs 7-9
Raiders 4-12
---
Playoffs
Colts over Fins
Bengals over Titans
Pats over Colts
Broncos over Bengals
Pats over Broncos
---
NFC North
Packers* 13-3
Bears* 10-6
Vikings 7-9
Lions 5-11
---
NFC South
Saints* 12-4
Falcons 8-8
Panthers 7-9
Buccaneers 6-10
---
NFC East
Eagles* 9-7
Washington Professional Football Team 8-8
Giants 6-10
Cowboys 5-11
---
NFC West
Seahawks* 11-5
Cardinals* 9-7
49ers 7-9
Rams 5-11
---
NFC Playoffs
Seahawks over Cards
Bears over Eagles
Packers over Bears
Saints over Seahawks
Packers over Saints
Superbowl: Packers over Patriots
MVP: Aaron Rogers
OPOY: Calvin Johnson
DPOY: Robert Mathis
OROY: Blake Bortles (otherwise known as the "choose a rookie QB" award--QFT)
DROY: Jadveon Clowney
PSN: UpToIsomorphism
oilypenguin: That is a terrible joke and I'd ask you to be ashamed of yourself but you've been around here long enough that I know you'll be proud of it.
detroit20: UptoIsomorphism has it right.
I didn't bother doing the math to see if these add up, so they probably don't, but oh well...
AFC North
Bengals* 10-6
Steelers* 9-7
Ravens 9-7
Browns 5-11
A three horse race for the title, and the winner likely won't pull away from the pack.
AFC South
Colts* 10-6
Jaguars 8-8
Titans 8-8
Texans 5-11
Everyone has this division wrong. Tennessee and Jacksonville were both .500 teams over the second half of last season. They're teams in ascent, and I expect one of the two will actually creep into a winning record and seriously challenge Indy for the division title.
AFC East
Patriots* 12-4
Jets 8-8
Dolphins 6-10
Bills 4-12
Still New England's division by far. I expect the wheels to come off in Buffalo completely.
AFC West
Broncos* 11-5
Chargers* 10-6
Raiders 6-10
Chiefs 5-11
I think things in KC are going to be a lot worse than expected. They were propped up by a cake schedule in 2013, and their talent pool took a hit this offseason with little replacement. I expect they will live to regret that Alex Smith contract. Also, Denver still the cream, but much more mortal than people project.
NFC North
Packers* 12-4
Bears* 10-6
Vikings 8-8
Lions 6-10
I hate to say it, but I am feeling Green Bay a lot this year. I think they will legitimately challenge Denver for the top offense in the NFL. Also, I have very positive vibes for Chicago.
NFC South
Saints* 10-6
Buccaneers 9-7
Falcons 9-7
Panthers 6-10
A brutal knife-fight of a division. Every team better than their record suggests.
NFC East
Eagles* 11-5
Giants 7-9
Washington 6-10
Cowboys 5-11
I do not feel this division at all. I think this is your new AFC South.
NFC West
Seahawks* 11-5
49ers* 10-6
Rams 6-10
Cardinals 6-10
Seattle and San Francisco both take a small step back. I think both will be formidable in the playoffs and would probably pick either to go on the road and beat Green Bay thanks to the matchup problems they'll present. But Seattle's offensive line and the crackdown against their defensive style of play, and San Francisco's missing defensive pieces, will present early season struggles for both.
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"The golden shower threw me off." -- garion333
.
You should follow me on Mastodon: @[email protected]
You should follow me on Bluesky: @legion.bsky.social
"The golden shower threw me off." -- garion333
They absolutely can draft another QB. And should.
I'm thinking Troy Aikman / Steve Walsh here. Why not?
I expect Cleveland will have two top 10 picks (theirs and Buffalo's) and I would not be shocked for the picks to both be top 5. Hell, I won't be shocked if they're #1 and #2.
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"The golden shower threw me off." -- garion333
AFC North could go to anyone, except the Browns.
I think the Jags will win the AFC South. If not, Andrew Luck will.
I'm so sick of the Patriots, but am higher on the Dolphins than most.
Win Now rarely works, but the Broncos brought in needed additions. I agree with Legion, Chiefs are gonna burn, but in large part because Charles is gonna break a leg.
Packers, barring injuries, are the class of the league. I believe in Jay Cutler while we're at it.
Saints, easily. Falcons will still be terrible on defense and the Bucs will have sh*tty QB play, keeping them from winning anything of importance.
Eagles? Everyone else kind of sucks here, especially Dallas's defense.
Seahawks are still good. 49ers are still fairly good. Rams? Eh. Cardinals are broken already, sadly.
Superbowl: Packers over Who Cares?
MVP: Aaron Rodgers
OPOY: Aaron Rodgers
DPOY: JJ Watt
OROY: Kelvin Benjamin
DROY: C.J. Mosley
How did I live before digital distribution of old, cheap games?
MilkmanDanimal wrote:You did live before digital distribution of old, cheap games. Now you just play games.
AFC Division Winners
Bungals
Colts
Patriots
Broncos
Wild Cards
Chargers
Ravens
NFC Division Winners
Packers
Saints
Eagles
Seahawks
Wild Cards
49'ers
Bears (By one of those ridiculous last week tiebreaker scenarios where the Cardinals have to lose to Bugs Bunny's football team and the Ram's have to beat the Bucs by 40jillion)
SB
Saints over Patriots (just so we can see Brady whine some more)
Biggest Surprise Team
Buc's
Biggest Flop
Tie between the Falcons and the Steelers
Aint nothing new about the world order..it's been playing since the day they put George Washington on a quarter
Delivering Truth while the 10% deliver lies.
As a Cleveland fan, does this mean I can officially start looking forward to next year?
PSN: UpToIsomorphism
oilypenguin: That is a terrible joke and I'd ask you to be ashamed of yourself but you've been around here long enough that I know you'll be proud of it.
detroit20: UptoIsomorphism has it right.
As a Cleveland fan, I'm shocked you can ever actually look forward to anything, ever.
"I would be insulted if I could figure out exactly what it means."
--*Legion*
Not going to do W/L
AFC North
Bengals*
Steelers
Ravens
Browns
ANDY DALTON!!!!! I think he does 'well' as in doesn't kill them.
AFC South
Colts*
Texans*
Jaguars
Titans
Texans make the playoffs. Yea, thats right. They make the playoffs. I think the only player in the league who might be able to break Andrew Luck is JJ Watt and hes angry. Im honestly very interested to see how good this D can be if Watt goes into beserker mode and the rest of the role players stay healthy. If they go 9-7 and he puts up obscene numbers I really hope they consider him for MVP. Thats 151:1 btw.
AFC East
Patriots*
Jets
Dolphins
Bills
Hey look! The Pats win the division. Again. Other GMs/Coaches need to start giving the other teams tutoring or helpful hints. The Pats have arguably been drafting very poorly for awhile now and they should still cruise to the division title because the other teams here are just so inept they cant give them any kind of run.
AFC West
Broncos*
Chargers*
Chiefs
Raiders
I don't have anything to say here really. Carr! I honestly hope he does well/doesn't die. I have some good friends who are Raider fans and it would be nice if they trend back to competitive to make this division more interesting.
NFC North
Packers*
Bears*
Lions
Vikings
Not this year but maybe next year with how Bridgewater plays out but this division is trending towards the toughest in the league. Its defacto the West right now but by the start of 2015 (sadly for the Pack) the North could be a very very ugly division to try and qualify out of. We could be in a situation where the 4th team in the North could arguably win some of those AFC divisions.
NFC South
Saints*
Buccaneers
Panthers
Falcons
Not sure if I buy the Saints resurgence love in. Drew Brees is good... no hes pretty amazing but people seem to be piling on that they are going to the NFC championship. Sure if the injuries and stars align but for me theres 3 clear better teams and maybe a 4th in the Eagles.
NFC East
Eagles*
Giants
Washington
Cowboys
Can we get a GWJ Manning face is kinda close but its also used for mad. Its more of a mad/perplexed/constipation face. Also I'm not sure what to make of year 2 of the Eagles O. All I know is that it should be enough to cruise in this awful division.
NFC West
Seahawks*
49ers*
Cardinals
Rams
Really sucks for Bradford. I wanted to see him have a shot at a full season and for their monster D to get some help on the O side. Could be a blessing in disguise if they flame out and keep building.
MVP!!! Rodgers. I think he puts up godly numbers if the pieces stay healthy. Long drawn out crushing drives alternating with Lacy.
DPOY: Watt with a chance at MVP if some of the QBs go down struggle etc.
OPOY: Rodgers! ;p
Wild Card games:
Texans vs Cincy!
Cincy get out of the Dalton deal after Watt is charged with manslaughter.
Chargers vs Indy!
douche bag face Rivers trumps Luck! We all groan.
Eagles vs 49ers!
Assuming no one else beats their wife or utters bomb threats the long lay off for some of their players actually keeps the 49ers somewhat healthy! damnit!
Saints vs Bears!
Brees wins. Nothing pretend funny to write here.
Divisional:
Pats vs Watt I mean Texans!
Watt out on bail kills Brady. We rejoice but sexy pants 2.0 Garoppolo still holds out to win.
Broncos vs Chargers!
Manning face vs Douche Face... Both players make lots of faces as they struggle but some way the Chargers win.
Seattle vs 49ers!
Rematch, grudge match, absolute war. 49ers roll with their healthier squad.
Packers vs Saints!
Dome team comes in and plays in Jan in Lambeau. Pack attack!
Championship round:
Pats vs Chargers!
Brady limps around and manages to do enough to make the SB!
Packers vs 49ers!
Of course Green Bay wins! what could go wrong.
SB: Pats vs Packers! everyone not associated with these teams probably groans but inevitably watches cause they know they all have secret crushes on one of these teams!
Packers win. Order is restored to the world. All wars around the world stop.
AFC North
Bengals* 10-6
Ravens* 10-6
Steelers 7-9
Browns 1-15
---
AFC South
Colts* 11-5
Texans 9 - 7
Titans 6-10
Jaguars 3-13
---
AFC East
Patriots* 12-4
Dolphins 9-7
Jets 7-9
Bills 6-10
---
AFC West
Broncos* 12-4
Chargers* 10-6
Chiefs 7-9
Raiders 4-12
---
Playoffs
Colts over Chargers
Bengals over Ravens
Colts over Pats
Broncos over Bengals
Colts over Broncos
---
NFC North
Packers* 12-4
Bears 9-7
Lions 7-9
Vikings 5-11
---
NFC South
Falcons* 10-6
Saints* 10-6
Panthers 7-9
Buccaneers 6-10
---
NFC East
Eagles* 10-6
Redskins 8-8
Giants 6-10
Cowboys 6-10
---
NFC West
Seahawks* 11-5
Cardinals* 10-6
49ers 7-9
Rams 5-11
---
NFC Playoffs
Falcons over Cards
Saints over Eagles
Packers over Saints
Falcons over Seahawks
Packers over Falcons
Superbowl: Colts over Packers
MVP: Andrew Luck
OPOY: Arian Foster
DPOY: Robert Mathis
OROY: Blake Bortles (otherwise known as the "choose a rookie QB" award--QFT)
DROY: Jadveon Clowney
Contact me elsewhere.
That's the second Mathis pick for DPOY; people do realize he's suspended the first four games of the year, right?
"I would be insulted if I could figure out exactly what it means."
--*Legion*
Will not matter when he still will have most sacks in the league.
Edit: Yes I am a Colts fan
Contact me elsewhere.
NY Giants go 16-0, Manning throws for 5,000 with 42 TD and 4 Int.
Sorry, new baby and all, I am sleep deprived.
AFC Division Winners:
Patriots, Colts, Bengals, Broncos
AFC Wild Cards:
Ravens & Chargers
NFC Division Winners:
Cowboys, Packers, Falcons, Seahawks
NFC Wild Cards:
Bears & Lions
AFC Championship:
Broncos over Patriots
NFC Championship:
Packers over Falcons
SUPER BOWL:
Broncos over Packers
Went out on a limb on some picks, figured there's always 4-5 new playoff teams every year, and that's what I did.
but I just couldn't say no to the Johnsons.
Honey Badger don't give a sh*t.
buwhuuu..
That deserves a Price is Right sad horn sound.
Aint nothing new about the world order..it's been playing since the day they put George Washington on a quarter
Delivering Truth while the 10% deliver lies.
You should follow me on Mastodon: @[email protected]
You should follow me on Bluesky: @legion.bsky.social
"The golden shower threw me off." -- garion333
That gif is hypnotic. I can't figure out exactly what 73 and 72 thought they were doing there, it's almost like they went into a fugue state.
I never minded piracy. Anyone who minds about piracy is full of sh*t. Anyone who pirates your game wasn't going to buy it anyway! -Warren Spector
GWJFFL Pro 2010 Champion
Oh, predictions:
Seahawks get home field again, roll through the playoffs, crush the upstart colts who ride Andrew luck to the big game.
Dynasty!
I never minded piracy. Anyone who minds about piracy is full of sh*t. Anyone who pirates your game wasn't going to buy it anyway! -Warren Spector
GWJFFL Pro 2010 Champion
All these predictions with Texas having a winning record...HAVE YOU SEEN WHO THEIR STARTING QB IS? HAVE YOU?
LET ME TELL YOU BROTHER I HAVE AND I KNOW ALL ABOUT HIM. I'VE SEEN THINGS MAN.
If Tom Savage couldn't beat out Ryan Fitzpatrick the Texas are f*cked.
PSN: xGumbie
Xbox Live: xGumbie
Steam: Gumbie
Tom Savage couldn't beat out Ryan Mallett and Mallett has been a Texan for less than a week. Mallett was put on the depth chart as QB2.
You should follow me on Mastodon: @[email protected]
You should follow me on Bluesky: @legion.bsky.social
"The golden shower threw me off." -- garion333
I couldn't bring myself to type "Eagles". Someone at work might have seen me do it
*EDIT*
That and the fact, that making the playoffs will be enough for Garrett to save his job, and that makes me happy, because the Cowboys are going no where with him.
but I just couldn't say no to the Johnsons.
Honey Badger don't give a sh*t.
I actually looked up the Dallas defense the other day and even as an obsessive football fan, didn't recognize a fair number of them. That is going to be one utterly atrocious unit this year. It's going to require the offense to score 40 points a game to make up for the crappy defense, and, hey, look, Tony Romo's already gimpy.
To be fair, I think this is really the year Roy Williams turns it around.
/tradition
"I would be insulted if I could figure out exactly what it means."
--*Legion*
One thing that's been flying under the radar is that Dallas has built a very strong offensive line, and has all the components for a dominating ground game. It's one of the reasons I was a little extra high on DeMarco Murray in fantasy this year.
Dallas has spent 3 of their last 4 1st round picks on offensive linemen. Tyron Smith and Travis Frederick are both already top 10 players at their positions, and Zack "not JFF" Martin has looked fairly good so far and has been the first-team RG since camp started.
The defense is a disaster, but a strong ground game can at least help keep them on the sidelines more.
I don't expect it will be enough for a good season (I did say 5-11, after all), but with Dallas cleaning their books with a massive cap purge this year, that offensive line will be a foundation for them to build on going forward.
You should follow me on Mastodon: @[email protected]
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"The golden shower threw me off." -- garion333
Mentioning Roy Williams led me to the recent ESPN article about Jerry Jones, which if you scroll far enough along there's a closeup of Mr. Jones where you can see his nose hair (or mustache hairs missed because of his nose). Thanks for that.
How did I live before digital distribution of old, cheap games?
MilkmanDanimal wrote:You did live before digital distribution of old, cheap games. Now you just play games.
Not when you have to play from behind all the time.
How did I live before digital distribution of old, cheap games?
MilkmanDanimal wrote:You did live before digital distribution of old, cheap games. Now you just play games.
OK, I'll bite.
AFC North
Bengals*
Ravens*
Steelers
Browns
Holy sh*t, if it weren't for the AFC South this would be the worst division in football.
AFC South
Colts*
Titans
Texans
Jags
MY GOD. If anything happens to Andrew Luck, it's up in the air. Colts go 5-1 in division and 4-6 out of it and somehow still end up 2 games ahead of 2nd place.
AFC
EasyEastPatriots*
Fins
Bills
Jets
As bad as Buffalo is, the Jets are somehow worse.
AFC West
Broncos*
Chargers*
Chiefs
Raiders
As bad as KC is, they are somehow still better than the Raiders and the Jets.
Ravens at Colts
Chargers at Bengals
Bengals at Patriots
Ravens at Broncos
Patriots at Broncos
NFC North
Packers*
Bears*
Lions
Vikings
Bears are surprisingly good, but not good enough to beat the Pack.
NFC South
Saints*
Buccaneers*
Panthers
Falcons
Panthers and Falcons have a race to the bottom. TB's D keeps them in the game enough times to finish above .500.
NFC East
Eagles*
Giants
Non-offensively named Washington team
Cowboys
This is the AFC of the NFC. Also, I CANNOT WAIT FOR BRANDON WEEDEN.
NFC West
Seahawks*
Cardinals
49ers
Rams
49er offense fails them and lets the Cards slip into 2nd place.
Buccaneers at Eagles
Bears at Saints
Eagles at Seahawks
Bears at Packers
Eagles at Packers
SB
Patriots over Eagles
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